Smallville actor Sam Jones plead guilty to conspiracy to sell 10,000 Oxycodone pills. Before sentencing, he asked the judge for leniency boo-hooing that he lost everything including his dog, car and a role in Blue Mountain State because of the drug charges. The judge gave him a break giving him just 1 year instead of the 5 the feds were pushing for.

The good news is now that Jones is going to prison, his girlfriend Karissa Shannon dumped him and moved into the Playboy mansion with her twin sister to be one of Hugh Hefner’s revolving whores during his time of need. Actually, I don’t know if that’s good news. I just wanted to lighten up this post.

Karissa Shannon’s sex tape (here, NSFW) was released on September 29 to very little fanfare even though Vivid head Steven Hirsch said, “Karissa Shannon Superstar will be one of our biggest sellers ever.” Unless the numbers tell a different story. I’m just basing this on how little I’ve read about it over the internets.

It definitely didn’t do for Karissa and Sam Jones what they thought it would which was to turn them into micro-celebrities like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian. Now they’re just two ordinary people who everyone has seen naked. How do you get ahead in Hollywood when a sex tape won’t even work? Talent? Ha, that’s funny. No, really.

Former Playmate Karissa Shannon and her boyfriend, Sam Jones (Smallville), have finally agreed to the release of their sex tape. TMZ says it was academic once Vivid hit the six figure range. Karissa also had a sex tape with Heidi Montag that was nixed after Heidi got cold feet.

Steven Hirsch — the president of Vivid — tells us, “We are excited to finally distribute this amazing DVD. Not only is it extremely kinky for a celeb sex tape, Karissa is absolutely beautiful. And as for Sam, let’s just say he’s no ‘Smallville.’ This is sure to be one of our all-time best sellers.”

What a fairytale. Karissa Shannon proves that if you try hard enough, get naked enough and make enough sex tapes, some day Vivid will pay six figures to release one of them and elevate you from D-list to C-list. Karissa is such an inspiration.

Karissa Shannon finally admits to making a sex tape with Heidi Montag but swears that she never wanted anyone to see it.

While out to promote her new signature milkshake with boyfriend Sam Jones III at Millions of Milkshakes in West Hollywood on Thursday, Karissa confirmed to RadarOnline.com, “there is a sex tape of me and Heidi,” emphasizing that Spencer was not present when they shot it. “It’s just me and Heidi, that’s it,” she said.

She claims Spencer Pratt stole it from her and that this wasn’t a calculated plan to be the next Kim Kardashian.

“Me and Heidi were hanging out at her house in Malibu and he came over to pick up some stuff and he ‘accidentally’ took my camera,” Karissa told RadarOnline.com. “I talk to Heidi every single day and I tried to be there for her when she was going through her divorce, but now it’s starting to affect my life. Spencer had no right to steal my camera. There are other things on there that I don’t want to come out, including the video of me and Heidi.”

“I don’t know, I just wish I’d done it [the sex tape] with Lindsay Lohan,” she quipped. “At least it wouldn’t be on the market right now!”

Okay. She never wanted the tape to come out. So, instead of not making it in the first place or hiding it where no one can find it, she leaves it in the camera for anyone to pick up. Mm hmm. Right. Is every D-lister in Hollywood a lying whore or just these two?

Good news and bad news. Good news: The Heidi Montag sex tape that Spencer Pratt is shopping around might not feature him at all. Bad news: It will still feature two attention whores who you couldn’t care less about.

According to TMZ, Heidi Montag and Playboy Playmate Karissa Shannon filmed a lesbian sex tape together.

We’re told not too long ago Spencer was at the Malibu house he once shared with Heidi … moving out some of his stuff. Sources tell us Spencer came upon a camera with XXX video of Heidi and Karissa — and the light bulb went off.

Sources say it was then that Spencer decided he could make a fortune selling his “library” to Vivid Entertainment — much of it featuring naked, fornicating Speidi.

Karissa confirmed the tapes existence but released the usual statement. That she doesn’t think Spencer has it and that she’ll sue if the tape is ever released. Of course by “sue”, Karissa means she’ll do the happy dance while her eyes ring up dollar signs. The only way Karissa won’t allow the release of the tape is if she does something real embarrassing on it. Like have a threesome with Spencer Pratt. I’d run special ops and burn every single copy of the tape and kill all witnesses if that were the case.

Hugh Hefner and his now ex-girlfriends, twins Kristina and Karissa Shannon, will go their separate ways. Well, they’ve been going their separate ways what with them having sex with people not named Hugh Hefner, but now it’s official and they’re moving out. From OK!:

“You have to consider that these girls are only 20 years old,” a source tells OK!. “The twins were there for the ride. They just care about themselves.”

Hefner said he initially suggested the move, which is expected to be within the next couple of weeks, and that Kristina and Karissa will now be “friends” as opposed to having the official title of “girlfriends.”

One of the reasons — and possibly a clear indicator — for the twins’ departure from the famous Holmby Hills home was their relationship to the 83-year-old nudie magazine mogul.

According to the source, “it was not a secret the twins were sleeping around” while living under Hef’s roof.

“From what I heard, the twins were not sleeping with Hef,” the source continues. “And Hef didn’t really seem to care. He would let them get away with murder. They did whatever they wanted.”

Hugh Hefner is now down to one girlfriend, 23-year-old Crystal Harris, who’s weeping right now because she’ll no longer be able to divide the “sleeping next to Hugh Hefner and hoping you don’t wake up to find him dead next to you” time amongst three people anymore. It’s all you, baby!

Hugh Hefner’s new twins, Karissa and Karina Shannon, painted their bodies with the jerseys of both Super Bowl teams. They’ve both claimed number 69, of course, because that joke never gets old.

Shouldn’t these photos elicit more than a subdued “meh” from me? True, the only thing separating their tits from the world is a thin layer of paint, but I was still more excited to find that Pop Tart under my bed.

In related news, guess who ate breakfast today?

Hugh Hefner’s new 19-year-old twin girlfriends, Karissa and Kristina Shannon, were photographed outside a medical marijuana shop outside of Los Angeles on Tuesday. No one knows for sure why they’d require medicinal weed (maybe they have cancer, poor things), but let’s not be Debbie downers and focus on the legal aspect of this story.

Let’s focus on the fact that these are two 19-year-old twins who like to get naked and probably wield their medical marijuana card like it was daddy’s AMEX. If they do anal, I think we’ll have found the Holy Grail.

Now that the twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon have been named two of the three girls taking over for Holly, Bridget and Kendra on The Girls Next Door, it was only a matter of time before people began digging for dirt. And dig they did.

TMZ discovered that Karissa and Kristina were charged with aggravated battery in January of this year in St. Petersburg, Fla. The two were at a house party with one of their co-workers from Wing House, Erica Civello, when Kristina got into an argument with her. It was over as quickly as it began when Karissa sneaked up from behind and hit Erica over the head with a bottle of beer before both jumped her. Erica is said to have suffered a concussion.

This won’t end well. He had a winner in Holly. When the cameras turned off, he and Holly probably nuzzled each other before falling asleep in each others arms. With Karissa and Kristina, when the cameras turn off, Hugh will probably be cowering in the corner of his room behind locked doors, clutching a baseball bat and shivering, unable to empty his colostomy bag.

Once again, both of them nude here.

Hugh Hefner finally admits his relationship with Holly Madison is over. Hugh told Marc Malkin of E!, “If she says it’s over, it’s over. But like I’ve said before, she is the love of my life, and I expected to spend the rest of my life with her.” The main reason for the split is because Holly wants marriage and children, but six months ago Hugh found out his sperm count was too low to father another child.

What a shocker. Hugh has no sperm. I thought that was obvious. You know those tests you get at the optometrist’s where they put your face up to the machine and it shoots a puff of air into your eye. That’s what it feels like for Holly when Hugh gives her a facial.

Don’t feel too bad for Hugh though. He’s already banging Kristina and Karissa Shannon, two 19-year-old twins, and has been screen testing a college senior from Georgia by the name of Amy Leigh Andrews.

If you’re wondering what Kristin and Karissa look like naked posing in front of the Playboy mansion, click here and here (NSFW).