Models are awesome. 99% of them don’t care if people see their breasts. Regular girls get pissy when you spy on them with a telephoto lens. Models such as Karolina Kurkova are like, whatever, here’s my tit. That’s why super models and I get along so well. Regular girls just don’t “get” us.

Almost topless photos here and here.

I know I linked to this yesterday, but it’s starting to weird me out more and more. One of Victoria’s Secret’s top Angels, Karolina Kurkova, has no belly button (close-up here). I’m not sure why I never noticed this until people pointed it out. Maybe I just didn’t want to believe Karolina is a freak or maybe it’s because the belly button is photoshopped onto her non-candids. It’s like whoever created her said, “Screw it. No one will notice. It’s 5 and almost happy hour.” So he just jabbed his thumb in the mold and left.

Every year, Victoria’s Secret has their lingerie fashion show and every year I check my mailbox for an invite and every year I find a reminder from the court telling me to stay 500 yards away from all Victoria’s Secret models. Next year it’s going to be different. Watch out Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, Ana Beatriz Barros, Heidi Klum, Selita Ebanks, Doutzen Kroes, Miranda Kerr, Izabel Goulart and all the rest. This sexy beast is coming for you. So, please, don’t warn the cops and don’t even try to hide your underwear. I’ll find it eventually. I’ve been practicing with my Where’s Waldo books. A few more after the jump or click any photo for the full gallery.

This was labeled as some sort of behind the scenes Victoria’s Secret bikini shoot featuring Marisa Miller, Alessadra Ambrosio, Adriana Lima and Karolina Kurkova. But I think we all know what’s really going on here. My fantasies have finally materialized! And once again, I’m on the outside looking in. Just like in my dreams. :(

More hotness after the jump.

Karolina Kurkova is being blasted by Brazilian media for being too fat at the Cia Maritima Show during Sao Paulo Fashion Week. Critics are said to be aghast at her apparent “back fat, love handles and cellulite.” A Brazilian paper described the shock that came over them after they noticed the 24-year-old Czech Victoria’s Secret model looking “chubby with cellulite on her butt.”

Well excuse you fatty police. Who put you in charge of deciding what a supermodel should look like? You didn’t even let Karolina respond. Why don’t we do that right now? Karolina, what do you think of these allegations?

“I like cake! Nom nom nom nom.”

Oh… nevermind then. Carry on Brazilian media.

Some may think Karolina Kurkova has it all. Beauty, fame, riches. However, one thing she doesn’t have, is a man. That’s right, Karolina will spend this Valentine’s day single. Instead of bubble baths for two and horse rides along the beach, she’ll have to settle for naked pillow fights with the rest of her mate-less Victoria’s Secret sisters. So, why is it so hard for Karolina to find a man anyway you ask? This is why.

“Guys are intimidated by me because I’m loud and I’m tall,” the supermodel told us. “And I’m not afraid to talk about things. So they’re like, ‘Uh, I don’t think so.’”

“I’m waiting for a guy to take me to do something super-crazy that I’d never expect, like bungee jumping,” Kurkova added. “Dinner is nice, but everyone does that. I’d really like something unexpected.”

Unexpected? Super-crazy? Easy. Two simple words. Cock slap. Preferably in the middle of a candlelit dinner in a fancy restaurant. I’m a romantic.

Karolina Kurkova was on the set of a Victoria’s Secret photoshoot in St. Barth’s when the wind decided it would be a good time to lift up her dress. This is why I don’t invite the wind to parties. He creeps out the ladies. Dude, can you, maybe, not get drunk and do inappropriate things? Be cool for once. Are you even listening? Maybe you could hear me better if you stop swinging from the chandelier. I’m the jerk? Who do you think you are? That’s it. You’re gone.

And that, my friends, is how I was banned from children’s parties. Wait, I mean, that’s how the wind was banned from my awesome soirées.

That should do it. Now I’m off the save the world one marshmallow at a time. As always, more under the cut.

Also check out Part 1 and Part 2 for more pictures.

I split the show up into 3 parts because WordPress is a little bitch. I hate you WordPress.

Also check out Part 1 and Part 3 for more pictures.

Go here if you’re looking for the 2008 Victoria’s Secret Fashion show pictures.

The 2007 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show took place last night and featured models such as Adriana Lima , Alessandra Ambrosio, Heidi Klum, Miranda Kerr, Selita Ebanks, Izabel Goulart, Karolina Kurkova and Marisa Miller among others walking the runway in traditional bra, panties and wings while men hid their erections with their program. Wow, it’s like sixth grade all over again.

The show will premiere December 4 on CBS at 10 p.m. et/pt. And this means nothing to the guys, but there was also a duet with Seal and Heidi Klum. That’s right. A real baby seal that they clubbed right after. It made the show both sexy and delicious. A lot more pictures after the jump. A lot.

For more pictures, check out Part 2 and Part 3.

Karolina Kurkova was doing a photoshoot the other day. I think it was for clothes or erections. I really hope it was for erections so I can explain to the librarian staring at me that this is just a big misunderstanding and I’m not a perv. Sigh, why did I have to use the computers in the children’s section.

Check out the 2007 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show here.

I couldn’t resist posting pictures from the Victoria’s Secret 2006 Fashion Show featuring:

Alessandra Ambrosio, Adriana Lima, Gisele Bundchen, Karolina Kurkova, Selita Ebanks, Izabel Goulart, Ana Beatriz Barros, Oluchi Onweagba, Jeisa Chiminazzo, Jessica Stam, Heather Marks, Katja Shchekina, Miranda Kerr, Natasha Poly, Caroline Winberg, Caroline Trentini, Andi Muise, Flavia de Oliveira, Ajuma Nasenyana, Hana Soukupova, Angela Lindvall, Raquel Zimmerman, Elise Crombez, Julia Stegner, Doutzen Kroes, Morgane Dubled

So not all of these girls are pictured although they were modeling. The show was filmed on Nov. 16 and will be broadcast ed by CBS on Dec. 5. I’m not sure if they’ll be streaming it over the net again.

Seeing all these beautiful women in one place might take your breath away, but not mine. For me, this is what I call a slow day. No really, I am just that devilishly handsome and charismatic. Ladies can’t resist me and my GHB. A lot more after the jump.