Katharine McPhee is in the March issue of GQ which comes out later this month. She’s promoting her new series Smash, another show about people randomly breaking into song, which isn’t the biggest man aphrodisiac (manphrodisiac?) so GQ asked her to come up with three things that would persuade men to watch it.

Reason #1: Your lady does it for you. Now do it for her. “Listen,” McPhee says, “I go see all the guy movies, so now I know I love them. But you have to be open to it. I would say to the girlfriends out there: Just nail him down, make him watch an episode with you.”

Reason #2: It’s not like they’re singing constantly. “I can understand why guys wouldn’t be into Glee. You know, that’s a pretty heavy musical show. That show does, like, six songs in an episode. We’ll do, at most, three.”

Reason #3: “Okay, how about this: What if I tell your readers that in episode five I take off all my clothes?” Sold! But hold on—would it be true? “I mean…no.” McPhee laughs mischievously. “But can’t we just say that?”

If those were McPhee’s most convincing arguments, then that’s just sad. Here are three counterpoints.

Counter #1: Guy movies are inherently better than chick flicks. For example, watching Brad Pitt punching dudes in Fight Club is universally loved whereas watching a Katherine Heigl romcom where she squeals at a man only appeals to women with an interest in cats and crocheting.

Counter #2: Whittling it down to three songs per episode is too much. If the show exceeds the singing quotient of 0, then it’s not happening.

Counter #3: No one likes a tease.

Here’s Katharin McPhee prancing around the ocean in Oahu for a movie she’s filming called Wedlocked. Not much has been heard from her since her American Idol days save for a movie and tv appearance here and there and there’s no indication that this new project should propel her into any type of spotlight. Meaning, we should probably enjoy her fantastic tits while we still can before she fades into complete obscurity.

For the curious, Wedlocked is about a mobster arraigning U.S. citizenship for his daughter by introducing her to an American photographer. If this American photographer turns out to be not really a photographer, but someone with a store bought video camera and cheap lighting, then I want to know who gave them permission to use my life story.

23-year-old Katharine McPhee is pretty hot and mildly successful. Which makes her marrying a 42-year-old guy she met three years ago all the more confusing. Maybe he has a certain quality modern men don’t have. A club, a taser or a disposition towards extreme bouts of violence perhaps.

Katharine McPhee was at an Access Hollywood event where she held up this purse shaped like a pair of breasts. How delightfully kitschy! A purse shaped like boobs! What other body part will they make a fashion statement out of next? I, for one, am dying to find out.

In other news, Katharine McPhee was dropped by her label, RCA, along with other American Idol stars. Oh, I know. Can you believe it? I didn’t care either.

Katharine McPhee was seen on the set of House Bunny acting out my wildest fantasies by wearing a fake pregnant belly while being showered with dandruff. Earlier, Rumer Willis was seen sitting naked in a back brace with a dunce cap on from the same movie. Do you see the connection? I certainly do, but I’m not going to tell you. It’ll probably go over your head anyway. Here. Go play with these Barbies instead. I don’t want you to hurt yourself by thinking too hard.

My penis and I have confirmed that Katharine McPhee is hot. Which is why there’s no reason not to post these pictures of the wind blowing up her skirt. 9/10 doctors agree. Katharine McPhee should have sex with me. I put that in rhyme because feigning interest in a girl’s hobbies is the fastest way to get in a girl’s pants.

I thought this picture of Kat McPhee was interesting. Sort of a “I’m a naughty girl, I eat small dogs, spank me daddy” moment. Oh, did I mention Kat and I call each other by our nicknames? Yea, I call her Kat, she calls me restraining order no. 3257. It sounds cuter when she says it.

Katharine McPhee seems surprised anyone still cares about her. She really shouldn’t be. She’s pretty and has big boobies. That makes her special.

Katharine McPhee is a guest on February 27th’s episode of the Tyra Banks Show. As you can see here, the interview went swimmingly. This is what Tyra had to say about Katharine’s boobs.

“I squeezed her boobs and they are real! They’re jiggly and soft.”

My God woman. Don’t tease me. I’d like to know more about these pillowy breasts. Taste, texture, size? I tried finding out myself once, but all I discovered was tasers hurt. Really hurt. So whatever you do, don’t try to squeeze Katharine McPhee’s breasts with your pants down because it’s really hard to run away.

Update: Thanks to Max there’s now video. Mmm, Katharine McPhee boobs…jiggling.

The 2006 Billboard Music Awards happened yesterday. As you can tell by Fergie’s performance in the video, it sucked as much as you thought it would. She lacks both charisma and looks and decided to get drunk beforehand. When I listen to the lyrics I want to vomit. Boys just come and go like seasons? Conceited much? You usually find girls like this working in libraries or answering to some guy named Sugar Bear. Girls like this are also required by law to keep a bag for their head on the nightstand at all times. More after the jump.

Carmen Electra
What can I say? She looks like she always does. Like she’s frozen in time.

Gwen Stefani
Ummm. That hair. How much of Gavin’s semen did she use to make it stay up like that? It looks like one of those hypnotizing twirling things. It also looks completely retarded.

Janet Jackson
She went from 300lb fat ass to perfectly sculpted abs. And there were no steroids involved. Right. And I’m the queen of France.

Katharine McPhee
If that dress were any shorter, I’d be able to see her cooch. I guess she just doesn’t want to be popular like everyone else.

Nelly Furtado
She always looks like someone is shining a huge spotlight in her face. Or she really needs contacts.

Rihanna
Please tell me why so many people think she’s hot. The only thing she has going for her is the ability to hammer nails with her forehead. That’s more of a circus thing so what’s she doing here.

Victoria Beckham
Day by day she looks more extraterrestrial. Sad really.

Vida Guerra
How the hell did she get in? From what I heard, without all the fancy airbrushing she looks beat. I also hear skin folds are making a comeback this year. That’s a another win for Vida.

The American Music Awards were on yesterday. Did anyone care? Not sure, but the Black-Eyed Peas and the Red Hot Chili Peppers won big. I sorta stopped right there because it can only get worse. Instead of telling you who won what, here are some of the celebrities that attended. More after the jump along with some insightful commentary.

Ashlee Simpson
I’m glad this girl isn’t a regular news item anymore. She looks much different from the Ashlee Simpson of yesteryear. Like she’s made of plastic. Something to ponder.

Beyonce
Nice cleavage. Rock on, but hopefully not rock hard. Can’t say much about her music.

Britney Spears
This girl bounces between not hot and almost not not hot. In some shots, she’s not hot. What’s with the hair.

Carmen Electra
She looks like she’s going for the Christina Aguilera thing minus the see through clothes. Commitment is key Carmen.

Gwen Stefani
Jesus. Next.

Jojo
Some little teenybopper with a average rack and that’s about it. Crap. That makes me dirty doesn’t it.

Katharine McPhee
One picture reminds me of Catherine-Zeta Jones. Other pictures remind me I don’t care.

Nicole Richie
Next!

Sarah Silverman
Yea baby. Show us your tits. Woo. Why am I not laughing? Oh, it’s Sarah Silverman.

Carrie Underwood
Some chick from American Idol. Good for a night on the town and not much else.

Attention gentlemen! If you ever find yourself dating this American Idol, order from the kid’s menu. You’ll save yourself some hard-earned money. As an added bonus, you won’t have to beat yourself up knowing that Katharine McPhee just hurled thirty dollars worth of lobster down the toilet.

According to People magazine, “she’s been struggling to cope with the binge-and-purge eating disorder since she was 17.” A confessed late bloomer, the article goes on to say that she puked seven times a day which is like “putting a sledgehammer to your vocal cords”.

Here’s a piece of advice Nicole Ritchie gave to me: Get used to it! This is show business baby. No one wants to watch fat people sing. In fact, bulimia will be the least of your worries. Start practicing your poses for that sex video you “don’t” want to get out. Paris Hilton isn’t complaining, neither should you. Smoochy woochy!