Madonna wore the same outfit on Anderson Cooper as Kathy Griffin did on NYE. Hence, why Kathy posted this photo on Instagram with the caption, “Bitch stole my look! I hope Joan_Rivers sees this!!!” Well, if Joan Rivers isn’t high right now, she might.

This isn’t news of course. Madonna hasn’t been original in years. All she probably does is sit in front of the tv with her stylist, point her bony finger at celebrity outfits and say, “this.”

For whatever reason, Kathy Griffin has decided to live her life wearing nothing but a bikini this year. Clearly to the delight of everyone. It also seems she spends most of her bikini time in the ocean which is good news because I just deleted the tsunami warning app from her iPhone.

To everyone’s dismay, Kathy Griffin performed at VH1′s Divas Salute the Troops concert in a bikini last week. *Shivers*

Alright, admittedly my “Ahhhhh!” turned into just an “Ahh!” because her body isn’t that bad for a 70-year-old. But shouldn’t that be the case with the nip tucks she’s had.

Although, can’t this still be considered a declaration of war or an act of terrorism? I’m pretty sure America as a whole can now hunt her down and eliminate her with extreme prejudice.

Kathy Griffin flashed Paris Hilton outside of Kitson yesterday afternoon for her show. Two things. First, Kathy Griffin and flash should never appear in the same sentence ever again. Second, AHHHHHHH, what have you done to my beautiful eyes?!

Kathy Griffin was co-hosting CNN’s NYE coverage with Anderson Cooper when someone heckled her. Kathy responded by yelling, “I don’t go to your job and knock the dicks out of your mouth!,” which is a line from Mr. Show. This probably went over really well with CNN. They probably gave her an award right after. That Kathy. So edgy!

Bravo’s A-List Awards took place at the Hammerstein Ballroom Wednesday night and it sounded more like a dysfunctional family reunion than an actual awards show. The whole show was pretty much a circle jerk for D-listers.

Kathy Griffin hosted and being the “hip” and “with it” comedian that she is, told jokes about Miley Cyrus getting VD and about Mariah Carey being old. She also said some other stuff, but I’m too tired to type it so I’ll just quote Page Six. Pay close attention to the swearing. Notice how Kathy becomes 10 times more edgy when she throws those f-bombs:

“That motherfucker George Clooney ruined it for all of us,” she yelled. “He decided to donate his Oscar bag to some bullshit environmental organization and ruined it for me.”

Griffin, currently on the cover of A Bear’s Life – a magazine dedicated to macho, “furry” gays known as “bears” – admitted she watched “Living Lohan” and is obsessed with Dina and Ali Lohan.

“I wish I could have had a manager mom out at clubs fucking guys to get me roles,” Griffin cracked. “My mom’s at home drinking a box of wine.”

There’s a magazine dedicated to hairy gay guys? You’re goddamn right there is. The pinnacle of achievement for any actor or actress is to grace the cover of A Bear’s Life and Kathy Griffin has done it. She’s made it. In the venerable words of Kathy, “FUCK YEA!!” But Kathy Griffin wasn’t the only one happy, Lauren Hutton was too. If you can’t see the video of Lauren’s acceptance speech up above after receiving a lifetime achievement award, let me or rather, let Page Six, yet again, describe it. It rivaled that of Halle Berry’s Oscar meltdown.

Actress Lauren Hutton, who accepted a lifetime achievement honor, slurred that she hadn’t slept in 46 hours, rubbed her crotch with the big silver award and mumbled “sluts” on stage.

After that, one clap turned into thunderous applause. Wow. The Bravo A-List Awards sounds like the classiest show out there. It makes the Oscars look like a used up whore. With VD!

Last weekend, Kathy Griffin was honored with a creative arts Emmy for her show My Life on the D-List. However, Catholic League President Bill Donohue called Griffin’s acceptance speech blasphemous. E!, which will run the program on Sunday, decided to cut some of her speech and censor other parts. So, what was the horrible thing Kathy said?

In her speech, Griffin said that “a lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus.”

She went on to hold up her Emmy, make an off-color remark about Christ and proclaim, “This award is my god now!”

For shame. This is right up there with child pornography. You wouldn’t look at child porn, right? It stands to reason, you wouldn’t listen to this devil worshipping speech. There’s only one thing we can do at this point. Burn the charlatan.

According to an online/phone poll done by Bravo, people voted that, in order for Kathy Griffin to get off the D-list and onto the A-list, she has to make and leak a sex tape with Judi Dench. Coming in second, was for her to adopt a baby from Namibia. Third, give a manicure/pedicure to Ryan Seacrest and last was join Scientology. The poll was done to hype the second season premiere of her show, D-list. Over at Bravo, you can see her try to complete the tasks.

The people who voted for this must be masochists because, for the love of god, why would anyone subject themselves to this. I tried watching the video, but it wouldn’t load. Just as well, since temporary blindness is not what I had planned for the evening.

Here’s a quote from someone over at the Bravo forums which sums this up nicely:

I love Kathy, but I saw her show in Houston on Valentine’s Day and when she pulled her pants down at the end of the show and walked across stage….Kathy, no sex tapes.

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