Last night at the 2012 Billboard Music Awards, Katy Perry debuted her new single Wide Awake while twirling around in the air over a set of fake clouds.

Pink’s husband Carey Hart was adamant that Katy ripped off his wife Pink’s performance insinuating Pink’s performance was better because she was 3 months pregnant and “actually sang the song.” Oooh, really? What? You want a cookie or something?

Apparently, if someone twirls around in the air once, all future variations of air twirling will be derivative and terrible. Let’s not even mention Katy Perry wasn’t even attempting any Cirque du Soleil moves but whatever. You’re not going to convince Carey Hart otherwise. “How can I jerk off to something that reminds me of my wife?,” he probably yelled at his tv.

Katy Perry also attended the 2012 Billboard Music Awards with her now purple hair. She has so much makeup caked on her face that it looks like someone Photoshopped her in real life. She practically needs a putty knife to get that off at the end of the night. Whenever Katy Perry gets into a stylist’s chair, instead of hair and makeup, it should be called hair and spackling .

Katy Perry also showed up at the Kid’s Choice Awards. Her most important contribution to child society is telling impressionable young girls that it’s alright to engage in lipstick lesbianism. As far as I’m concerned, that makes Katy the greatest hero of all. She should get the lifetime achievement award every year from now on.

Katy Perry’s acting reel disguised as a music video for Part of Me debuted and it’s the usual girl meets guy, girl sees guy flirting with a co-worker, girl assumes guy is cheating, girl makes a scene, guy tries to explain, girl drives to a gas station, girl sees an ad for the Marines, girl chops off all her hair in an emotional rage in a gas station bathroom, girl tapes up breasts, girl joins the Marines. It’s a story as old as time.

Katy Perry is breaking down a lot of barriers with this video showing us women aren’t irrational or impulsive at all.

At a performance for BBC Radio 1 in London, Katy Perry put on an NY cap and did an instrumental cover of Jay-Z/Kanye West’s N**gas in Paris. Perry sang “ninja” because she doesn’t have enough street cred to pull off “n**gas.”

She should have sang it anyway. It’s always funny when a white person shouts the n-word and see everyone in the audience try to find the nearest black person to see whether or not they should be offended.

Both The Sun and The Daily Mail are reporting Katy Perry is getting over her breakup with Russell Brand pretty quickly by hooking up with the highest paid male model in the world/Karl Lagerfeld muse Baptiste Giabiconi. Aw, dammit. How am I going to compete with a name like that?

The two met during Paris Fashion Week at the Chanel runway show. God, that place is a total meat market.

‘He was sitting next to her at the show. Then we all had dinner the other night, they were holding hands and looking cozy, and now they are inseparable.’

Another source said she looked smitten. Much like I do when I stand outside of her window staring in.

“They were with a group of people, but they looked very much like a couple in love.

“He was never more than a foot away from her and they were very flirty.

“There was a lot of whispering, shared jokes and they were really flirting.

“They made a very good-looking couple.”

If you don’t know who Baptiste Giabiconi is, he’s Karl Lagerfeld’s boytoy. Lagerfeld shot him in the nude, again, back in January for Interview Magazine. Photos of that below. Also, he enjoys wearing Daisy Dukes and bending over with his pants off.

File this under obvious ideas that haven’t been done until now. With the resurgence of 3D movies and the success of Justin Bieber’s Never Say Never, it was only a matter of time until a studio exec had an epiphany while watching Katy Perry jump up and down shooting fireworks from her breasts. You can practically hear him hyperventilating with excitement. It must have taken a good 30 seconds for a Katy Perry 3D concert movie to be greenlit.

Making it official, Katy Perry tweeted, “FINALLY, my MOVIE is coming out with Paramount this summer! It’s called “KATY PERRY: PART OF ME” Presented In 3D! KATYCATS-LETS TREND #KP3D” The Hollywood Reporter has more details and says it will be made by Magical Elves.

Magical Elves, the powerhouse producing duo of Dan Cutforth and Jane Lipsitz behind some of the biggest reality and non-scripted TV, is in negotiations to direct Paramount’s Katy Perry movie.

The Perry movie will be a 3D concert-documentary movie hybrid that will aim to show Perry’s life on-stage and off-stage and give a fan’s perspective on the pop singer. THR

Hopefully this gives the people what they want. Gratuitous jiggling and a breast-centric story line. Not like that Avatar where those blue things had sex by sticking their tails into each other or whatever. Can you believe James Cameron had all that technology and he used it for that instead of this?

Katy Perry arrived at the Maison Du Caviar Party in Paris last night. The event was held in celebration of Karl Lagerfeld’s fourth collaboration with Italy’s Hogan.

Inside, she was introduced to Conde Nast International head Jonthan Newhouse where she made the brain farty joke, “Newhouse, much better than old house!” “Is this how the rest of the night is going to go?,” Newhouse probably thought to himself as he put an imaginary gun to his head.

They asked her about her gold sequined dress to which she explained, “It’s either Vegas hooker or Balmain. It’s the first time I’ve worn them, and after they read this quote, it might be the last.”

No, no. Don’t worry about it. Vegas hooker was probably what they were going for. Designers love when you describe their dresses in that way.

Katy Perry headed out to Paris Fashion Week today wearing a see-through dress that showed off whatever undergarment she was wearing underneath (boyshorts?). Whatever it was, it framed her ass quite nicely letting a little ass cheek hang out.

That’s it! She wins. Someone give her 10,000 fashion points. Nay, 10 million fashion points! Who cares. They’re not real anyway.

Katy Perry is doing what any respectable musician would do at the height of their popularity. Cash in on their fame by diversifying to new mediums. Namely, movies and now tv.

Katy has been tapped to guest star as a “tough-talking TV prison guard” on the March 6 episode of Raising Hope. “Shannon Woodward is my best friend. A couple weeks ago, I was home, just toasting up a frozen chicken fillet when she called me up and asked if I wanted to do something ‘fun’ for a change and try out a guest role on her TV show. I thought, ‘Sure, I have nothing else to do, and I like chillin’ with my best friend.’ Greg was nice, but I hope he’s not secretly sabotaging my potential future career by typecasting me in the role of just a looker, so that I would never be able to play anything more challenging.”

Garcia also put out a statement explaining the decision. “Shannon Woodward told me that her friend Katy was interested in doing an episode and I thought, ‘Why not? Let’s do your friend Katy a favor.’ Then she came in and did a terrific job. She was hilarious. And now people are telling me that Katy is also a singer. I sincerely hope that her appearance on the show helps her get her singing career off the ground. It’s a tough business.”

I’m guessing Katy Perry didn’t meet Garcia all blued up like she was while promoting her custom eyelashes and instead went like she did at the Smurfs premiere. She looks like someone dunked her in a tidy bowl toilet.

Russell Brand did not sign a prenup when he married Katy Perry but that doesn’t mean he’s going after half of the $44 million she made between May 2010 and May 2011 even though he’s entitled to it.

As one source put it, “This divorce is as amicable as it gets, and Russell was a mensch (Yiddish for a good person).” He doesn’t want Katy’s money. He’s happy to walk away with the money he earned — which is far less than what Katy raked in. TMZ

“Oh, what a gentleman,” ladies will think. That is before Russell takes them home and forces them to service him while he sits in a wheelchair pretending to be paralyzed.

Katy Perry, now with blue hair again, made her first appearance since the announcement of her divorce last Friday for GiveLove at 1Oak in the Mirage. She showed up with jewelry designer Markus Mollinari.

Onlookers say Perry was “bubbly and happy looking” giving an emphatic “Yeah!” when asked if she was having a good time. And who wouldn’t be when they’re hanging out with jewelry designer Markus Mollinari who could only afford half a haircut?

The story is Katy Perry was performing in Indonesia the other night when Perry invited on stage the first boy to take their shirt off. Some kid did and Katy gave him a kiss on the cheek before singing “I Kissed a Girl.”

On one hand, that kid almost got to make out with Katy Perry. On the other, Katy Perry just called him a chick in front of hundreds of people. She may as well have pantsied him, pointed to his crotch and laughed.