Russell Brand did not sign a prenup when he married Katy Perry but that doesn’t mean he’s going after half of the $44 million she made between May 2010 and May 2011 even though he’s entitled to it.

As one source put it, “This divorce is as amicable as it gets, and Russell was a mensch (Yiddish for a good person).” He doesn’t want Katy’s money. He’s happy to walk away with the money he earned — which is far less than what Katy raked in. TMZ

“Oh, what a gentleman,” ladies will think. That is before Russell takes them home and forces them to service him while he sits in a wheelchair pretending to be paralyzed.

Katy Perry, now with blue hair again, made her first appearance since the announcement of her divorce last Friday for GiveLove at 1Oak in the Mirage. She showed up with jewelry designer Markus Mollinari.

Onlookers say Perry was “bubbly and happy looking” giving an emphatic “Yeah!” when asked if she was having a good time. And who wouldn’t be when they’re hanging out with jewelry designer Markus Mollinari who could only afford half a haircut?

The story is Katy Perry was performing in Indonesia the other night when Perry invited on stage the first boy to take their shirt off. Some kid did and Katy gave him a kiss on the cheek before singing “I Kissed a Girl.”

On one hand, that kid almost got to make out with Katy Perry. On the other, Katy Perry just called him a chick in front of hundreds of people. She may as well have pantsied him, pointed to his crotch and laughed.

Looks like Katy Perry’s gotten over the whole marriage to Russell Brand thing. According to US Weekly, Perry is “all about moving on now”.

How polite of US Weekly. They should’ve just said she’s ready to bang. Brand and Perry’s marriage lasted 14 months, which appears to be the time for the novelty of double D’s to wear off.

Previously, sources claimed the reason for Katy Perry and Russell Brand’s divorce was because Katy would rather party than settle down and have Russell’s babies.

Now other sources tell Us Weekly that another reason for he split is Katy couldn’t satisfy Russell’s sexual desires.

“Katy was kinky enough during their first times together and he was very attracted to her,” a source says. “When things got bad, if they got a roll in the hay, they were always better after.”

But the source goes on to say that despite Katy’s attempts to keep the spark alive in the bedroom by scheduling monthly date nights at swanky hotels, it was “never enough.”

Russell’s sexually fetishes were also reportedly hard for Katy to keep up with.

“He likes dirty things,” the source says. “He really gets off on one particular porno with a guy in a wheelchair. He’s attracted to things he can’t imagine happening to him.” Adding that Russell had a closet full of sex toys. Hollywood Life

Ah, yes. The ubiquitous wheelchair porn. They make it sound like a fetish. I mean, is it too much to ask for handicap sex once in a while? I think not. But just not mentally handicapped sex. Trust me. Things get a lot weirder when your date goes “hur dur dur dur” in the middle of an orgasm.

Katy Perry was not blindsided by Russell Brand’s divorce filing as TMZ previously assumed. Sources now say Katy and Russell knew this was coming a couple months ago but didn’t want to end the marriage without seeing if they could work things out. Clearly, that failed.

Katy and Russell decided on the divorce a few weeks ago but didn’t want to be in town when the papers were filed so they booked separate vacations. And since Katy’s parents are evangelical Christians, she didn’t want to be the one to file because she was taught divorce is wrong. Much like championing two chicks making out is wrong. Oh… wait.

In what is sure to be a blow to absolutely no one, Russell Brand filed for divorce from Katy Perry citing “irreconcilable differences.”

A statement released by Brand states, “Sadly, Katy and I are ending our marriage. I’ll always adore her and I know we’ll remain friends.” Sources tell TMZ Russell Brand may have blindsided Katy Perry with the filing as Katy had no clue this was happening.

The writing was on the wall with this one but everyone thought it would Katy filing and that it’d have happened a lot sooner. Like, say for instance, after Katy found out Russell posted a picture of her without makeup on Twitter but before she punched him in the balls while he slept.

Good news everyone who thinks they have a chance with Katy Perry. Katy Perry and Russell Brand had a fight over the holidays which resulted in them spending Christmas thousands of miles apart. A source says they haven’t split just yet but the fights are getting worse.

“They had a massive fight,” an insider tells Us Weekly. “She was like, ‘F–k you. I’m going to do my own thing.’ Russell replied, ‘Fine, f–k you too.’” Us Weekly

Katy was originally planning to fly her family to London for the holidays, but after the fight, Perry went to Hawaii instead with some friends.

One of the main issues says a source, “Katy doesn’t think Russell respects her parents’ Christian beliefs or her friends.”

Which is surprising because anyone could have figured this out beforehand. Russell Brand is an ex-drug addict and controversial comedian who banged a lot of women. “Christian beliefs” ranks right under “bums taking a dump in the street” on Brand’s list of things he respects

Katy Perry showed up at the Grove to promote her new fragrance, Meow, with a noticeable bump and now everyone wants to know whether or not she’s pregnant. She’s most likely not and doesn’t look that pregnant but we should all keep asking if she is anyway. That way this fatty will get all sad and decide to stop being so fat.

Katy Perry shot down rumors that she was pregnant at the American Music Awards. She told Hollyscoop, “Hell, no!,” when asked whether she’s going to have kids anytime soon.

Pregnancy rumors started flying around again when people noticed a food baby pushing out her AMAs outfit. Turns out she was just pregnant with the most delicious baby of them all, In-N-Out. She told The Insider, “I like In-N-Out Burger and Taco Bell and if you want to make that pregnant that’s your problem.” She also said she loves drinking too much to get pregnant.

Russell Brand found the perfect woman. Hot, at least when she wears makeup (yikes), doesn’t want kids anytime soon and likes to party. Coincidentally, those are the three of the four qualities I require of a girl in my fake Craigslist model search posting. The fourth is “can keep mouth shut.”

Katy Perry showed up to the American Music Awards yesterday and I don’t know who won anything at the show because I turned into a drooling vegetable after seeing Katy Perry on the red carpet. She looked absolutely perfect and her big breasts made everything even more awesome. If I was at the red carpet, I would have just stood there with a noticeable erection, staring and pointing at Katy Perry while going, “ummghhh.”

Katy Perry celebrated her belated 27th birthday last week with a “Wild West Birthday Ho Down Throwdown” party where Katy dressed as a sexy cowgirl and Russell Brand dressed as an Indian.

Upon arriving, guests hopped on a horse-drawn wagon with haystack seats. Cowboys twirled lassos and a Dolly Parton impersonator sang through the night. Revelers ate corn on the cob, BBQ and apple pie a la mode.

Of course, the party also featured a mechanical bull that caused all the guys to shout “Show me your tits!” because the pervy operator slowed it down when hot chicks rode it.

Katy Perry recently released her video for “The One That Got Away.” In it she puts on an old lady prosthetic and acts all emo reflecting back on when she drove Diego Luna to accidentally kill himself. Blah blah blah cry cry.

Let’s get right to the point. Will Katy Perry actually look like this when she’s old? She ages about as gracefully as Britney Spears dances in an ice rink.