Because this is Hollywood, old friends can’t have dinner together without rumors popping up the next day implying they’re totally doing it. Oh, hey, guess what? Speed co-stars Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves had dinner together last week. An “intimate” one!

Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves enjoyed an “intimate dinner” together at a Beverly Hills restaurant last night (26.10.11).
The pair ate at top eatery Craig’s but left separately to avoid being photographed together.
Sandra – who was wearing black jeans, a white T-shirt and a loose-fitting black sweater rounded off with zebra-print heels – slipped out the back door, while jeans and blazer-clad Keanu left via the main entrance before driving off in a Porsche car.
The pair have been friends since co-starring in 1994 movie ‘Speed’. They last appeared on screen together in 2006 movie ‘The Lake House’. Contact Music

Whatever this was, a friendly dinner or a romantic one, hopefully it cheered Keanu up. Sad Keanu is just so depressing. Someone give this guy a hug.

An internet meme was born after Keanu Reeves was caught on a park bench looking sad while eating a sandwich. Afterward, more sad pictures of Keanu sitting alone and eating surfaced. Vulture caught up with Keanu and asked him about the photoshopping of his sadness. The internet then imploded.

You’re taking over the Internet. Have you seen all the “Sad Keanu” stuff out there?
My publicist showed me the photo, but no.

There’s not one photo. There are millions. You’re Photoshopped next to kittens and into Pulp Fiction and next to the cast of The Breakfast Club, and in a million different ways. Have you seen those?
Oh, that’s funny! No, no, I haven’t seen them.

There are millions, really. Google “Sad Keanu.” You haven’t?
[Laughs.] No.

Seriously, though, this is one of the reasons I think one of the big appeals of you as an actor is that people are always straining to figure out what’s on your mind, what you’re thinking, why you’re sad … There’s thousands of people doing this.
Wow. So, what, now they’re putting me next to other objects?

Yes! For instance, right now I’m looking at you in some Banksy graffiti, you next to a panda.
That’s so funny.

You with a cheerleader, but you don’t notice her …
Oh, that’s funny. So they like take paparazzi pictures and re-contextualize them? Funny.

Exactly.
Well, it sounds like harmless, good clean fun.

What do you make of how your fandom is changing?
I don’t know, I haven’t seen it. That one, well, I guess, though, when you think of how bad that stuff can go, that sounds like a pretty good clean fun one to have happening.

Given the options …
Yeah, I haven’t seen them. But given the scope and scale of what can happen out there, that sounds like an all right one. It sounds conceptually funny. [Laughs.]

Then Keanu looked down, frowned, and finished his cupcake. But alas, there isn’t enough cupcakes in the world to cure his sadness. He’s like a modern day Charlie Brown. Good grief!

I was about to post a picture of Keanu Reeves sad, alone and eating on a park bench last week but it was so depressing that I sat around at home and listened to emo music all day. Luckily, they’ve become a small internet meme and the new Photoshopped pictures are a little happier. For example, below is Keanu riding a unicorn.

Aww, crap. I was wrong. Even that’s depressing. I hear 10 minutes after this picture was taken, the unicorn slit its wrists in a bathtub. Unicorn via SadKeanu. Find more sad Keanu shops over there.

A jury has decided that Keanu Reeves will not have to pay paparazzo Alison Silva $711,974 in lost wages and punitive damages amidst claims the Keanu hit him with his Porsche. During the five-day trial, jurors heard contradicting statements from the paparazzo and were even shown video of Alison scaling a fence with his supposedly injured hand. After deliberating for less than three hours, all twelve jurors rejected the case.

When asked whether or not he’d still photograph Reeves again, Silva said, “Why not? It’s business. I wish Keanu is happy in his life. I have nothing against Keanu.”

Shortly after his victory, Reeves let out a, “Whoa! Party time! Excellent,” and performed some wicked air guitar.

When a shameless opportunist, say Alison Silva, is accidentally hit by a celebrity’s car, say Keanu Reeves’, it is in their nature to sue for a big pay day claiming a little love tap left them unable to work. However, rest assured they won’t be seeing one cent because they’re likely colossal idiots.

Alison Silva buckled under questioning by Reeves’ defense attorney and acknowledged he was beaten by fellow photographers while shooting photos of Britney Spears earlier this year. That assault came roughly a year after the incident in which Silva claims Reeves hit him with a car and left him unable to work.

Jurors on Wednesday also heard from a fire department captain who testified that Silva complained of pain in his left knee moments after his fall, despite his later statements to doctors and testimony that Reeves’ Porsche hit his right knee and that it hurt afterward.

The captain also testified that Silva was clutching his camera when paramedics arrived, contrary to the paparazzo’s testimony that he dropped his camera when he says Reeves hit him with his Porsche.

Silva was generally able to answer his attorney’s questions directly Tuesday and Wednesday.

But he repeatedly told Reeves’ attorney, Mark D. Williams, that he could not remember aspects of the incident and statements he made to emergency responders and doctors.

Williams questioned Silva about telling an eyewitness that the incident was “an accident” then later allegedly telling an emergency room doctor that Reeves had sped toward him and tried to flee the scene.

In fact, Reeves remained at the scene, tried to summon help for Silva and attempted to talk to him after his fall.

The only way this could turn out worse for Alison is if in the middle of questioning he waved his hands in the air and said, “Me no speak English.” And then started to quote Mr. Miyagi from the Karate Kid. And then kicked the judge in the balls with a crane kick. But even then it’d only be slightly worse.

No one has heard from Keanu Reeves lately. He had that movie Street Kings which came and went. Other than that, he hasn’t done much. Possibly because he’s been hanging out with China Chow, the topless girl in these pictures. If I was Keanu, I wouldn’t do much either if this chick was walking around naked all the time. The most I’d do is get up out of my chair all hunched over trying to hide my erection to get a glass of water. Pictures NSFW.

Before Keanu Reeves made it big, he did a segment on a teddy bear parade. My favorite part, “What do your friends think about you collecting bears, huhaha.” Bill and Ted was made for him. Via Totally Crap.

As Keanu was leaving a parking space by the Los Verdes County Golf Course, his Porsche grazed a celebrity photographer who fell to the ground. The AP says paramedics were called to the scene and the photog was taken to the local hospital. The speed at which he was driving is not known. Although, he was just pulling out of a parking space so it couldn’t have been that fast.

42-year-old Keanu Reeves was not injured. And the paparazzo was probably faking it like that other guy with Lindsay Lohan. His payout depends on how good of an actor he is. Maybe he was better, maybe he wasn’t. All I’m saying is, if I see video of this guy rolling on the ground, holding his knee screaming, “Owie. Owie. Owie,” I’m going to find him and kick him in the ribs so he’ll have something to work with. They call me altruistic. Me? I just like to think I’m doing my little part in this crazy world.

This probably won’t amount to anything, but nominate me here and I’ll give you an orgasm. You have my word. By orgasm I mean money and by money I mean my love. You want my love don’t you?

1. Mary-Kate Olsen is a biter. [Celebrity Smack]
2. Keanu Reeves still looks like a bum. [CityRag]
3. What? Pan’s Labyrinth is out already? [Pajiba]
4. Vanessa Minnillo says fuck on TV. [The Evil Beet]
5. Kid Rock is stealing Pamela Anderson’s friends. [Celebitchy]

Tori Spelling is desperate for money. Maybe she should find a job.

Sandra Bullock might be pregnant. Rape by Sandra Bullock. The most awful of horrors.

Adam Brody and Ashlee Simpson? From Rachel Bilson to that?

The Nativity Story stars sixteen year old Keisha Castle-Hughes who’s pregnant with her first child. Groovy.

Lindsay Lohan snorts cocaine, pops Oxycotin and chases it with vodka. That’s a real woman right there.

Gisele Bundchen says cheeseburgers are a supermodel’s secret weapon.

Keanu Reeves might be homeless. And smelly. And talentless.

The Teen Choice Awards always provides with entertainment in the form of pictures. Pictures such as those of Brandon Routh who’s t-shirt is as puzzling as his sexuality, Rachel Bilson who is tiny, Johnny Depp still being grungy, Keanu Reeves looking like a well dressed homeless man, Carmen Electra’s breasts touching Jessica Simpson’s breasts, Jessica Alba with the Fez guy and more.