If you’re stumped on a costume idea, then do what Keeley Hazell did and show your tits. Trust me, you’ll win first prize at every party you go to.

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Here’s Keeley Hazell standing next to a few statues in a bikini promoting Lynx. Wow, this isn’t creepy at all. Lynx needs to rethink their marketing strategy. When I think of this fragrance, seductive, sultry and pleasant thoughts should pop into my head like kittens on rainbows or 6 piece chicken nuggets for $1. I …

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Keeley Hazell is a topless model (read: cocktease) from the UK so I expect that when I see pictures of her, she be topless or about to be topless or have a big octopus stuck to her face. But, in these pictures she is neither of these things. She’s dancing around a pole. Maypole? This …

Continue reading "Keeley Hazell being not sexy"

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Homer Simpson filled in for Jay Leno last night and performed his own opening monologue. It was alright. But, what’s better than alright is that Keeley Hazell showed up to the UK premiere of The Simpsons and posed next to her own character. Crazy, it looks way better than the one I made of her …

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I got off my lazy ass and looked up Arena magazine. Apparently it’s an edgier FHM / Maxim in England. Which explains why topless model turned unwilling pornstar Keeley Hazell is in it. Whatever happened to that porn tape anyway. I’ve never been less turned on by a hot chick giving head. I’ve made better …

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That Keeley Hazell porn tape was terrible. No action, no nothing. Yea, so that was last week, maybe two weeks ago, but I thought these pictures would make up for it. Is Keeley this generation’s Pamela Anderson? Possibly, except for one key difference. I can look at her face without wanting to karate chop her …

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I’m gone for a couple of days and this happens?! Page 3 superstar Keeley Hazell had her sex tape released. As far as sex tapes go, I give this a 7. Let me break it down for you. It starts out promising at a 9 when Keeley Hazell’s mouth meets someone’s penis. Then I noticed …

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I think I seriously fugged up the page today. Rosie O’Donnell, Elizabeth Hurley, Kate Moss, Paris/Nicky Hilton and Nicole Richie? I’d rather fall face first into a bear trap than pop an erection to these girls. Keeley Hazell on the other hand. Rawr. Rainbows could be shooting out of a pink unicorn’s ass and it …

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