Page Six interviewed Kim Cattrall for her new movie Monica Velour which she says she put on 20 pounds for but it wasn’t so much of an interview as it was Kim complaining about Hollywood’s bias against older women and telling the reporter to get a “respectable” job. Such as one playing a 50-year-old sex crazed lunatic in Sex and the City. Oh and she was probably drunk or as her publicist will say “suffering from exhaustion.”

The “Sex and the City” star, who has criticized Hollywood’s obsession with the young and the beautiful, denying talented older actresses plum roles, told us, “Ask me about being a woman. Do you know what it’s like to be 54 and marginalized? It doesn’t get easier as you get older.”

But Cattrall — who put on 20 pounds for her “Monica Velour” movie role as an aging former porn star living in a rural Indiana trailer park and stripping to make ends meet — had even tougher words to say about working for a gossip column.

When we tried to break the ice with Cattrall, mentioning a ridiculous tip we’d gotten earlier in the day about her getting a bikini wax — a well-tackled subject on “SATC” — she snapped, “That’s a stupid question. You’re a smart girl. How could you want to write that?”

She then turned her anger on gossip columns, specifically Page Six, despite our being big fans of hers. “It’ll chew you up and spit you out,” she said, leaning in and adding that being a gossip reporter just isn’t a “respectable job.”

Cattrall asked, “Why don’t you work at — what’s that news agency — Roybers?” When we corrected her, “Reuters,” she conceded, “Yeah, sorry, I’ve been drinking.” But she didn’t stop there, ranting, “What about writing for a blog? Then you can write about what you want [or] care about.”

Cattrall, holding court at the after-party at the Pamella Roland-sponsored bash at downtown Hotel Chantelle’s rooftop, seemed peeved that because of our deadlines, we hadn’t arrived in time to see her movie — in which her gritty role is a dramatic change from her glamorous and famously oversexed “Sex and the City” character, Samantha Jones.

“You didn’t see my film,” she spat. “Why are you even here?”

Of course there’s bias against older women in Hollywood. Just like there’s bias in every job based on superficial appearance. Is water ever not wet? Also, I like how they say her role in Monica Velour is a dramatic change even though Kim plays an aging former porn star living in an Indiana trailer park. The only difference between that and her SATC character is instead of wearing Gucci, she wears Guci and instead of having sex for free, she gets paid. Which seems like a way better deal.

Kim Cattrall has promised to never go naked for a sex scene again. A sigh of relief was heard when the 53-year-old told Heart FM,

“When I turned 50, I decided that I didn’t want to be photographed nude anymore, so you don’t really see me nude (in the new movie), you see me doing maybe a physical, a sexual act, but there’s no part of my body that is exposed. I don’t consider these sex scenes, I consider them comedic opportunities because all of these romps that Samantha goes on are funny. They’re mostly about looks and dialogue than they are about any kind of sexuality or sexual act, and they always have been.”

Fantastic. This saves me from having to create that online petition begging Kim Cattrall not to go naked again. I was going to have a real hard time finding 10,000 people to sign the thing on account of me having no friends and all.

[Bauer]

You want to suspend disbelief while watching movies but there comes a point where it becomes too unbelievable. Like here for instance. Kim Cattrall filmed a scene for Sex and the City 2, possibly a flashback, and it’s really confusing how she can look even older in the 80′s than she does now. Her vagina must be like a centuries old crypt. Like if you opened it, thousands of ghosts would come screaming out and you’d be cursed for all eternity. I mean, why wouldn’t guys want to stick their penis in that?

Every day I tell my friends that there’s nothing I’d enjoy more than to stare at the body of a completely naked 52-year-old woman. “A lady like Kim Cattrall,” I muse. Turns out someone was listening to me because here’s Kim naked and sitting on a couch sandwiched between three well toned twenty-year-old performers from the theatre production La Clique for a charity photoshoot.

This is sort of like being invited to a party only to find out the other guests are all 15 or 16 and want you to buy them beer and that you weren’t exactly invited so much as you stumbled on a house with loud music with a lot of cars parked outside and decided to walk in. What I’m trying to say is, it must have been real uncomfortable when the other girls started asking Kim about menopause.

Photos are NSFW, but they’re art so just tell your boss that.

What could be more fun than watching an aging Kim Cattrall “rediscover her sexuality” on HBO where nothing is censored? Nothing, of course. The actress is set to star in the new series adapted from the BBC Two show, Sensitive Skin. She’ll play a “middle-aged wife and mother who rediscovers her sexuality and begins to question the choices she has made in life.” It is set in New York and EW calls it sex-themed.

Why would anyone watch this? I rather be flayed and deep fried than even hear the audio from this. HBO might think an hour of Kim Cattrall getting it on with her gardener would be sexy and provocative, but I have news for them. It’s not. It’s just gross. Surprised HBO?

What a sexy nymph Kim Cattrall is. Wearing sunglasses, moccasins and a coat over a bikini at the beach, putting trash away in a Bed, Bath & Beyond bag? Rawr? This reminds me of the time I wore a monocle and a dead raccoon hat with my striped one-piece in Baja. The ladies went gaga. And when I stroked my handlebar mustache and twirled my cane as I kicked dirt in a little child’s face? Well, there were no lonely nights during that trip.

Sex and the City must still be shooting.

I was debating whether or not to post these disturbing pictures. I had some reservations stemming from the fact you can’t really see anything and that it’s Kim Cattrall and that would be like staring up the skirt of an 80-year-old grandma. Oddly enough, the camera didn’t catch the spirits that floated out of her crotch, but trust me, they were running for their lives.

Remember that commercial she did for Pepsi where everyone thought she was so sexy in the hot tub. No one found that sexy. That was some spiteful joke Pepsi pulled during the Superbowl. It’s the whole reason I have forsaken Pepsi.

This would be the commercial Kim Cattrall did that has caused controversy in New Zealand. There’s no reason this should have gotten enough complaints to get Nissan to pull it. She’s just excited about driving. Much like I’m excited about getting the image of Kim Cattrall naked out of my head.