LeAnn Rimes and Kim Kardashian were both seen attending Life Change Community Church in Agoura Hills, CA last Sunday. Presumably, this was the only church that wouldn’t cause them both to burst into flames.

“Great seeing you and the fam,” LeAnn tweeted to Kim. “See you soon! Xoxo”

Kim, who described her churchgoing Sunday as the “perfect day,” echoed Rimes’ enthusiasm. “You too babe!” she replied. “See you soon! Xoxo” E!

One girl broke up a marriage and the other made a mockery of it. The church must love that these two come in every week. They’re probably just too dumb to realize every sermon is about them. You’d think when the pastor angrily points at them while giving his fire and brimstone speech that that would be a dead giveaway.

I’ve neglected the Week in Shoots for a couple weeks but stability was never my strong suit. Just ask my illegitimate children. Here’s a round-up of what happened this week.

• Christina Aguilera dribbled what looked like period blood down her leg during her Etta James performance which turned out to be fake tanner.
• The SAG Awards happened and Dick Van Dyke was really excited about it.
• NBC got cold feet and pulled the donkey semen Fear Factor episode.
• Nick Carter showed what a good kisser he was.
• Elisabetta Canalis traded down and made out with Steve-O.
• Joan Rivers got high on TV.
• Blake Lively announced her number.
• Channing Tatum made Rachel McAdams a prosthetic penis.
• Eli Roth became the primary suspect in the Selena Gomez murder case.
• Snooki peed herself.

As for what you’ll find in today’s photoshoot round-up.

• Arianny Celeste in Complex.
• Elisha Cuthbert in Shape.
• Elizabeth Olson in ASOS.
• Kim Kardashian in an Esquire shoot.
• Leighton Meester shot by Mark Lidell.
• Taylor Momsen in FHM (again?).
• Tori Praver in lingerie.

Kim Kardashian showed off her new lighter hairdo on Twitter the other day. She took a picture posing in only lingerie from her Kardashian Kollection lingerie line. She wrote, “I dyed my hair lighter yesterday! I’m loving it! New hair color=new beginnings for me. You like?” and another photo of just her in a bra with the caption “Photo shoot fresh! All about corals for spring swimwear.”

The surprising news in these pictures is Kim Kardashian has hair because all I can see are tits.

I have distressing news. Kim Kardashian has found her way off E! and into a re-occuring role on Lifetime’s Drop Dead Diva. There, Kim will play Nikki, Fred’s new love interest who works with his ex on a business venture.

“I’m ecstatic to welcome Kim to the Diva family,” creator and executive producer Josh Berman tells Us Weekly in a statement. “In discussing the role of Nikki with her, I’m blown away by her smarts, sense of humor, and passion. This series is all about reinvention and I’m so excited to see Kim ‘reinvented’ in the world of Drop Dead Diva.” Us Weekly

Well, the good news is, if Kim Kardashian ever gets sick, they can just use a cardboard cut out with her face painted on it for a stand-in.

It’s a well known fact none of the reality tv shows are actually based in reality. They’re basically loosely scripted dramas with bad actors. But if you need proof, look no further than the episode of Kourtney and Kim Take New York that aired last Sunday.

Reality Tea discovered that Kim and her mom Kris faked the entire scene where she questioned her marriage to Kris Humphries. The scene was supposed to have taken place in October in Dubai but was actually shot in a studio in LA on December 6. A comparison photo shows Kim and Kris leaving the studio carrying and wearing the same outfits as they wore in the contrived scene. The scene was shot 6 days after she filed for divorce and was probably meant to get sympathy.

Not only was that fake but so was Kim’s proposal. Kris was told exactly when, where and how he was to propose to Kim so they could get usable footage for the show.

“Kim told Kris how, where and when to propose, it was absolutely no surprise to her whatsoever”, a source close to the situation tells RadarOnline.com exclusively.

“First of all, Kris proposed in the middle of the day, and he had to do that because it would create better lighting to capture the moment. Kim looked so surprised but she knew it was happening,” the source says. “She was in full hair and make-up, as she always is on the show. Kris wanted it to be very intimate and romantic, but all of his ideas were shot down by production officials and Kim.

“Kim told him the paparazzi would ruin the special moment if it were to take place in a public setting, like the beach, which he had also considered. How romantic could it be with three camera crews?” Radar

I’m pretty sure if you asked a five-year-old, even they’d tell you that Kim is faker than a Bugs Bunny cartoon. The only way Kim could have a real moment is if E! perfectly scripted one for her.

Last year, Sketchers featured Kim Kardashian in their Super Bowl commercial. As you may have heard, she’s been replaced by a French bulldog. Sketcher’s insists it has nothing to do with the negative publicity brought on by her sham marriage. Though getting away from that is certainly one of the benefits. Another would be how much faster the bulldog completes his takes. Compared to Kim Kardashian, he’s Leonardo DiCaprio.

In their quest for all Kardashian coverage all the time, the family of highly trained fame whores are close to be landing a deal with American Media Inc, the owners of Star, The National Enquirer and Shape, to launch a tabloid dedicated solely to the themselves. Basically using self-published articles about their own lives as some sort of perverted masturbatory aid.

Sources say the family will be heavily involved editorially, of course, and while Kris Jenner won’t be editor-in-chief, she’ll be pulling the strings like some sort of deranged puppet master.

It’s suspected the magazine will be similar to Kim Kardashian’s blog where she posts about her family and plugs any sponsor that will pay her. Expect every article to stroke at least one Kardashian ego followed by three paragraphs explaining why you should buy a certain weight loss product that doesn’t work and then two more paragraphs of “look at me! look at me!” I can’t wait!

Kanye West’s ex girlfriend, Amber Rose, spoke with Star Magazine and showed she’s obviously still bitter that Kanye dumped her for Kim Kardashian and calls Kim a homewrecker.

According to Amber, she was dating Kanye when he and Kim first hooked up — and Kim was dating NFL star Reggie Bush!

“They were both cheating,” Amber, 28, said. “They were both cheating on me and Reggie with each other.”

“She was sending pictures, and I was like, ‘Kim, just stop. Don’t be that person,’” but apparently Kim didn’t care enough to respond when Amber emailed her for an explanation.

“I thought at least she’d be woman enough to respond to me. She never responded.”

Amber slammed Kim for her cheating ways. “It’s very important that us women stick together and we don’t f**k each other over like that.” Radar Online

They’re both fame whores competing for the same prize. Sticking together would feel like an attempt at subterfuge. Maybe Amber should have sent some naked pics too. I’m told that’s the best way to get someone to like you.

“I want to thank her,” she said about Kim. “Because if she was never a homewrecker, then I never would have met Wiz, and I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now.”

Yea, she’s so happy with Wiz that she’s still talking about Kanye. I know when I’m over something I also incessantly yap about it.

On Sunday’s episode of Kourtney and Kim Take New York, the world was offered a little insight as to why Kim Kardashian’s marriage to Kris Humphries didn’t work out. Simply put, Kris was way too preoccupied trying to out her publicist Jonathan Cheban who kept telling Kris he wasn’t gay.

When Cheban took him and Kim to a candle shop, Kris furrowed his brow, put on his detective homophobe hat and stuck a bubbly pipe in his mouth, but just the tip because he’s no queer or nothin’.

Wow. Kris really wants Jonathan to be gay. He probably wanted to make sure so he could ask if having Kim stick a finger in his butt during sex made him gay too. If no, then, sub-question, what about if he made her stick two fingers up there. Would that be gay?

TMZ confirms that the Institute for Global Labour and Human Rights has launched an investigation into whether or not the Kardashians’ wares are produced using Chinese slave labor in factories reeking of sewage with temperatures soaring above 100 degrees. An official from the org says the conditions are horrific. The factories make merchandise for K-Dash by Kardashian, the Kris Jenner Kollection and ShoeDazzle. Other claims include 84 hour work weeks and $1/hour pay. The Kardashians make $65 million a year off their lines.

Naturally, Kris Jenner put on her shocked face and said the factories manufacture many things unrelated to the Kardashian line. “As far as I know the factories that are used to manufacture the Kardashian clothing and shoes have nothing terrible going on at all and the factories are very well policed and meet factory standards,” says Kris.

I wonder what factory standards they meet? Chinese factory standards where the only qualifications you need are nimble hands and a built up resistance to noxious fumes and motivational whippings every hour?

This should really become a daily thing. How many magazines are out there? Christ. Enjoy.

- Abby Elliott in Maxim.

- Aimee Teegarden in an unknown photoshoot. She sort of looks like Elisha Cuthbert here.

- Annaelle in FHM France. Honestly, I don’t know who this chick is but you can see through her bra.

- Beatrice Chirita for Vova’s Fall/Winter campaign. I have it on good authority this girl is a model.

- Dianna Agron does Nylon.

- Emmy Rossum in Malibu Magazine. Sadly, not nude.

- Gina Carano does GQ. I wonder how long it took them to photoshop that fat off her. Everyone knows she blows up when she’s not training for a fight.

- Hilary Swank in Gotham not looking like a dude.

- Jessica Alba does In Style.

- Joanna Krupa in CKM Magazine.

- Kat Dennings in Bust Magazine.

- Kate Beckinsale in Flaunt.

- Kim Kardashian does Marie Claire.

- Lady Gaga gets made-up in GQ India.

- Rosie Huntington-Whiteley poses for Harper’s Bazaar

- Yvonne Strahovski for Allure

Barbara Walters got straight to the point during her interview with the Kardashians which aired last night. She didn’t mince words and asked, “Why you famous? You no have talent!”

“You don’t really act; you don’t sing; you don’t dance. You don’t have any — forgive me — any talent,” Walters told the family.

“But we’re still entertaining people,” explained Khloe, as Kim chimed in offering her thoughts:

“I think it’s more of a challenge for you to go on a reality show and get people to fall in love with you for being you, so there is definitely a lot more pressure, I think for being famous for being ourselves.” Huffington Post

Note how Khloe doesn’t argue the fact that they have no “talent.” She just accepts it and argues they’re still entertaining people in other ways. Such as, making fools of themselves on TV and in life. Then she tries to convince Walters that what they do is harder than what entertainers with actual talent do. Which is why next time you see Christian Bale trying to impress you with his “acting,” tell him, “f**k you, get a real job, like the ones the Kardashians have.”

Kim Kardashian filed for divorce from Kris Humphries a little over a month ago which means now is the perfect time for Kanye West to hit on Kim. At an after party for Jay-Z and West’s “Watch the Throne” concert in LA, Kanye was all over Kim and she was reportedly into it.

“Kanye was eating Kim up like she was a piece of cake,” says the source. “He was all over her — caressing her head, touching her waist.

“He wouldn’t talk to anybody else,” says the source.

Kardashian was enjoying the attention. “She was totally into it,” adds the source, who notes that Kardashian and West hung out in a small room with Beyoncé and Gabrielle Union in a small room that was located off a patio, where most of the party’s guests were gathered.

At one point, our source says, Kardashian and West got up and went outside, although it was unclear if they left the party together. NYDN

Rich, black, famous. Check, check and check. Kanye has all the prerequisites on Kim’s man-bingo card and will no doubt make a fine 72 day husband.