The Blemish » kim kardashian Better than a slap to the face Wed, 29 Oct 2014 23:56:54 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Kim Kardashian’s Promo Demands are Crazy Mon, 20 Oct 2014 18:53:52 +0000 If you want Kim Kardashian to promote your product, you’re going to have to pay to play. A lot. Like, a lot a lot. Radar has an email from Kim’s rep and the owner of a firm looking to get Kim to whore out their brand. In addition to demanding $750,000 to $1 million for an endorsement, Kim also wants first class tickets, hotel accommodations, first class transport, security, a per diem and a glam fee. Apparently it takes a lot of work to make her look presentable.

For travel related to personal appearances for the brand, the Keeping Up with the Kardashians star requires “5 first class tickets, plus 1 coach, first class hotel accommodations (1 suite for talent and standard rooms for others in party), portal to portal first class exclusive ground transportation, airport greeter service, security, glam fee (day rate for her hair and makeup squad), and a per diem.”

Her rep also noted, “We would need approval over photographer, all photos used in print materials, glam squad (hair, makeup, stylist, manicurist), hotel/airline/car service and PR usage.”

Said the rep, “We would need to review and approve [the media plan] with her PR team.”

Can’t afford all that? Then how about this? Kendall Jenner will gladly endorse your product for $500,000 to $1 million. Presumably without all the other stuff. What a steal! Can’t afford that either? I’m sure Kris Jenner has some discount rates she could give you like Rob Kardashian. Her prices are so low, she must be craaaazy! Act now because this offer won’t last!

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Kim Kardashian Went Braless to the Movies Mon, 20 Oct 2014 17:10:19 +0000 I’m not exactly sure what Kim Kardashian was wearing on her movie date with Kanye West. Half her jeans were missing and the entire back of her shirt was gone. It looked like she got into a fight with a rape-y bear who gave up mid-way through.

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Kim Kardashian Forgot Her Baby Sat, 04 Oct 2014 21:15:38 +0000 Kim Kardashian was born to be a mother. Case in point: Her forgetting North West while leaving her hotel in Paris. With photographers in tow, Kim left the Le Royal Monceau for her car when she stopped all of a sudden after realizing she forgot something. What could it be? Her Chanel purse? Her LV shoes? Oh, shit, the baby.

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Kim Kardashian Is a Good Dresser Mon, 29 Sep 2014 18:30:44 +0000 Halloween is October 31st, right? Just checking. Someone should remind Kim Kardashian. By the way, the photo agency blurred out her kid’s face in case you were wondering if North West contracted some horrible, disfiguring disease.

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The French Don’t Give a Damn About Kim Kardashian Fri, 26 Sep 2014 19:42:16 +0000 The cops in Paris won’t investigate the “assault” on Kim Kardashian that left her fearing for her life and ordering an armored car and a bevy of armed bodyguards. Mostly because they don’t give a shit. Unlike cops in the US who investigate the smallest sneeze, the Prefecture de police de Paris don’t get involved in such “minimal situations.” Therefore, no action will be taken against Vitalii Sediuk. That’s good news. The not so good news is now people in Paris will think they can do anything to anyone as long as they follow it up with, “It’s a prank! It’s a prank!”

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Kim Kardashian Requires Armored Transport Now Fri, 26 Sep 2014 16:30:32 +0000 Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were so freaked out after Vitalii Sediuk tried to tackle Kim that they’re now beefing up their security with armored cars and armed bodyguards. This is clearly the appropriate response to a prank.

Sources say the 2 additional teams of armed bodyguards will create an ouroboros around them during Fashion Week and protect them as if they had the nuclear codes. These are two very important people. Some would even describe them as a national treasure. Mind you, these people would be named Kris Jenner.

In other news, Kim also got booed for showing up late to the Lanvin show.

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Someone Tackled Kim Kardashian at Paris Fashion Week Thu, 25 Sep 2014 18:52:47 +0000 Vitalii Sediuk, the serial prankster who tried to blow Brad Pitt, buried his face in Leonardo DiCaprio’s package and kissed Will Smith on the mouth, has taken credit for tackling Kim Kardashian at Paris Fashion Week on Thursday.

While Kim and Kanye were exiting opposite sides of their ride, someone lunged at Kim’s feet and tried to pull her to the ground. Kim’s big ass kept her center of gravity low so it turned out to be harder than expected. Security jumped in and subdued the guy with help from the paparazzi. If you’re wondering why the paparazzi even bothered, think of the paps as remoras and Kim as a whale swimming through the ocean. They have a somewhat symbiotic relationship.

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Kim Kardashian, Vanessa Hudgens and Hope Solo Have Leaked Nudes Too Sat, 20 Sep 2014 19:29:25 +0000 Turns out the event that was dubbed The Fappening isn’t over yet. The latest victims include Kim Kardashian, Vanessa Hudgens, Kaley Cuoco, Lake Bell, Avril Lavigne and Hope Solo (links NSFW). So if you were wondering if Vanessa Hudgens learned her lesson from last time, the answer is no.

Update: And even more Jennifer Lawrence.

Update 2: Rihanna, Meagan Good, Emily Ratajkowski, Amber Heard, Yvonne Strahavoski, Rachel Nichols, Gabrielle Union, Abigail Spencer

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Kim Kardashian Would Love It If ‘Downton Abbey’ Would Cast Her Fri, 19 Sep 2014 17:52:29 +0000 Kim Kardashian would totally be down to star in an episode of Downton Abbey. Guys? Hello? Why are you all looking down at the floor in silence all of a sudden?

“I’m a big fan, I’d love to be on it if they asked,” said the 33-year-old reality star. “I love things like that.”

The newspaper adds that Kardashian has reached out to Laura Carmichael, who plays Lady Edith Crawley.

George Clooney just finished wrapping up his guest appearance so clearly Kim is the next obvious choice. I’ve long said the only person who could depict an era of poise and grace with as much aplomb as Laura Carmichael is Kim Kardashian.

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Kim Kardashian Won Woman of the Year for Some Reason Wed, 03 Sep 2014 15:59:34 +0000 GQ named Kim Kardashian GQ’s Woman of the Year thus proving GQ’s Woman of the Year is an arbitrary honor given to pretty much anyone these days. Honestly, they were probably trying to promote her GQ cover which is of her holding her breasts in a bed. A pose not unlike the one that brought her into public consciousness. The only thing missing is Ray J’s penis lodged in her uterus.

Kim told British GQ, “What a huge honor to win Woman of the Year. It’s so special.” Adding, “I want to thank my husband for making me feel like the Woman of the Year every single day.”

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