The Blemish » kim kardashian Better than a slap to the face Fri, 27 Feb 2015 10:04:28 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Kim Kardashian Licks Boogers Out Of Kanye’s Nostrils Thu, 26 Feb 2015 18:24:04 +0000 When is it love? When you can smell your significant other’s farts and be intrigued. When they wake up and you aren’t shocked by what you see. Or in Kim Kardashian’s case, when you extract boogers out of Kanye’s nose with your tongue. Kim put up a pic on Instagram and hashtagged it “#KimKAllDay”. Which if you read it really fast, reads “#KinkAllDay”, a hashtag that would actually fit really well also.


A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

In other news, Kanye went to Nando’s to grab a burger and fries ahead of his Brit Awards performance. And as Kanye does, he jumped up on a table because that kid needs attention. Attention is like water to him. Without it, he’d shrivel up and die.

To whomever didn’t know what a Kanye was, it looked like a cult gathering with some random black guy on a table and people yelling ‘Yeezus’ below.

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Kim, Khloe, Kylie And North West Escape Near Death Car Crash Sun, 22 Feb 2015 02:24:38 +0000 We almost lost American royalty yesterday. The Kardashian clan skidded of the road and briefly into oncoming traffic before sliding off into a ditch early Saturday morning. Kim and Khloe Kardashian, Kylie Jenner and North West were driving in Bozeman, Montana on icy roads when the accident happened.

…a semi-truck drove by their car and kicked up a ton of snow, hitting their windshield and apparently blinding Khloe.

Apparently Khloe couldn’t see and began swerving, right into a patch of black ice.  The car then spun out of control, crossing oncoming traffic and ending up in a ditch.

Kim had a brief moment of clarity and gratitude Instagramming a shot of snow-covered hills with the caption “Thank you God for watching over us and keeping us safe”.


It’s a surprise these three attention-mongers didn’t pose for a selfie in front of the crash. The minute these three crashed, they probably started seeing dollar signs over how much they could get for the People magazine cover and interview on the accident.

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Kim Kardashian’s Shirt Barely Covers Her Breasts Thu, 12 Feb 2015 18:46:30 +0000 Dammit, Kim Kardashian is annoying but her body ain’t bad at all. She’s got tits for those into boobs and ass for those into booties. She’s like Disneyland, something for everyone big and small. Here she shovels her chest into a tight shirt that mashes everything all up in there and yes, yes this is awesome. Penises all across America reluctantly bow in praise.

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Kim Kardashian Full Frontal Nude For Love Magazine, Talks Favorite Sex Position Mon, 09 Feb 2015 19:20:14 +0000 If you made your name off a sex video, it must be hard to always top yourself. What’s a girl like Kim Kardashian to do? You can only show your ass so many times and people see your tits all the time. Plus she’s 34, that booty has a shelf life. Kim’s gone the full monty now to up the ante. She did a spread for Love Magazine and left nothing to the imagination. Next year, we’re gonna see cucumbers up her cootch. We’re calling it now.

Cara Delevingne interviews Kim for the mag where Kim reveals her favorite sex position and how Kanye likes to see her walk around naked. As annoying as she is, that doesn’t sound half-bad.

‘I like nudity. Kanye always says, “Dress sexier” – he’s always the most encouraging,’ she added of her famous husband, who loves to style her and build up her confidence.

When asked by 22-year-old British model-cum-interviewer Cara what her favorite sexual position is, she simply replies she likes it from the back.

That’s not a surprise. But did Cara hear wrong? Did Kim say she “likes it from the back” or that she “likes it from a black”?

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Kim Kardashian Steals Bruce Jenner’s Thunder with New Haircut Sun, 08 Feb 2015 06:26:18 +0000 That Kim Kardashian, always wanting the spotlight to herself. Not content with all the media talking about Bruce Jenner killing someone or his new E! show about him turning into a woman, she put on her thinking cap and tried to one up Jenner. Another sex tape was out of the question, Kanye wouldn’t go for it. A ha! How about a new haircut? And so it came to pass. Kardashian chopped her locks and Instagrammed that shit with the caption “I cut my hair short today.” Not Instagrammed: “Condolences to the family my father killed.”

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The Return of Kim Kardashian’s Ass Tue, 03 Feb 2015 04:54:56 +0000 I think you’ve seen Kim Kardashian’s ass enough times to know that you’re not missing much. As much as some people would like to tell you that God cried as he savagely stuffed cellulite into her butt, it’s nothing more than Kris Jenner hype. Honestly, I’ve seen bigger asses in a Bieber family album.

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Kim Kardashian Knows How to Sell Her New Book Thu, 22 Jan 2015 18:07:30 +0000 Historians will either look back at Kim Kardashian as the biggest media whore or the most cunning businesswoman of the modern age. Perhaps even both. She used digital media so smartly, a textbook case on self-promotion. She is the most intellectually empty genius ever. Ass and tits sell so she shows off both. Now she’s plastered her tits on the cover of her new book, Kim Kardashian Selfish. Her new book collects all her selfies including never-before-seen ones! Her vanity isn’t overwhelming enough, seriously. The book’s description is pretty hilarious.

From her early beginnings as a wardrobe stylist, Kim Kardashian has catapulted herself into becoming one of the most recognizable celebrities in Hollywood. Hailed by many (including Givenchy designer Riccardo Tisci) as the modern-day personification of Marilyn Monroe, Kim has become a true American icon.

Wow, scary that one day people might actually put her on a pedestal like Marilyn Monroe. Is she like Marilyn Monroe? Was Monroe a ‘ho? That’s about where the similarities end.

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Charlie Sheen Tells Kim Kardashian to Go Fuck Yourself Tue, 06 Jan 2015 17:22:51 +0000 One more reason why Charlie Sheen deserves our praise. Sheen laid into Kim Kardashian for allegedly refusing a 6-year old’s autograph request, says TMZ. His now-deleted tweet gets straight to the point:

“She cries about it every night before she goes to sleep.”

“you are lucky that ANYONE cares about your gross and giggly [sic] bag of funk you dare call an ass.”

“your public loves u. give something back or go f yourself.”

TMZ later caught up with Sheen who didn’t back down at all. According to him, his buddy C. Thomas Howell informed him of the incident.

Charlie says Howell told him the girl waited for Kim at a lunch place and politely asked her for her John Hancock when they were alone in the parking lot. He says Kim told her assistant, “Oh God, can you handle this.”

Charlie says, “The assistant and dooshy got in her car and pulled out and sped past the poor little 6-year-old without even a glance to the child.”

Coke. Strippers. And the freedom to speak his mind. Hollywood’s treating Sheen quite well.

Sheen ended his twitter rant with a few kind words to Kanye West:

“My apologies to your hubby, great guy I’m sure, I hope his vision returns one day.”

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Kim and Kanye Kiss and Model for Balmain Ad Mon, 22 Dec 2014 17:40:06 +0000 Hard to believe Kanye and Kim have reached their mid-30’s. It seems like just yesterday Kim released her sex vid and catapulted from nobody to B-list celebrity. Now look at her. All grown up and wearing fancy clothes showing off the latest in high fashion and soulless facial expressions. Too bad she’s crapping up her face with surgery. She looked really good naked way back when.

FYI: Evidently, fans of Balmain make up the ‘Balmain Army’. Sounds like a cult. Anyway, here they are ‘modeling’. By modeling, we mean putting on clothes and staring at the camera.

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Kim Kardashian: “Khloe’s Ass is So Big…She Needs to Lose a Couple of Lbs” Tue, 16 Dec 2014 19:03:45 +0000 Looks like someone doesn’t want any attention taken away from their OWN ass. Kim Kardashian cannot be so vain that she’s afraid Khloe’s ass will overshadow her own, can she? That’s a rhetorical question. Yes she can. Because Kim’s a vain, media-hungry whore who will carve up her face and body, fuck on camera and marry anyone just to get a couple of more pages in People.

In this Sunday’s episode of Kourtney & Khloe Take the Hamptons, Kim tells Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian, “Khloe’s ass is so big…like she’s got to like lose a couple lbs.” Disick knows what’s up when he responds “What? You guys are famous for big butts! You guys lose your butts, we may all lose our money!” Check out the preview.

Kim then drops a bombshell: “I don’t care. I want a flat ass now.” Really. A month ago you wanted to break the internet with your ass, and now you want it gone.  Just another attention-seeking whore comment from Kim’s surgically-enhanced lips. Kim will ride that ass, like Ray J. rode it, all the way until the last viewer clicks off her show.

Now, flip the bird to Kim and ogle Khloe’s ass.

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