The Blemish » kim kardashian Better than a slap to the face Fri, 17 Apr 2015 17:30:26 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Kim Kardashian Stuffs Her Butt Thu, 16 Apr 2015 15:51:09 +0000 Oh, ‘butt stuffing’. That can be taken so many ways, am I right Ray J? Kim Kardashian hasn’t left Paris yet. This time, she’s captured out in the wild running amok in workout clothes. If you stare at her butt, and don’t we all, it looks like she’s carrying around a pillow in there. You never know when North needs a nap. That thing will keep expanding until it folds over unto itself and then all space and time will cease to exist. We’ll disappear into her black hole at that point. Quite stinky if you’re wondering.

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Kanye West Congratulates Kim Kardashian By Tweeting Her Nude Pics Mon, 16 Mar 2015 19:26:16 +0000 Gotta keep their names in the news. Kanye West celebrated Kim Kardashian hitting 30 million Twitter followers by tweeting out a bunch of naked Kim Kardashian photos. Wow, what an achievement, Kim. It’s pretty obvious, but has anyone noticed that her achievements really aren’t substantial? Sex tape, 30 million Twitter followers, a bunch of milestones that no one with talent would wants or care about. So it goes for talentless Kim.

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Kim Kardashian Goes Braless in See-Through Dress Thu, 05 Mar 2015 23:34:22 +0000 First, the blonde hair and now the mesh dress without a bra. Looks like someone needs attention. Kim Kardashian has perfected the publicity handbook for talentless celebrities. Every so often, mix it up, throw in a new hair color, a few nude pics, maybe a new baby, to keep people entertained. If people get bored with North West, try to create North West Part Deux and play up how you can’t conceive. Keep at it until the one day when you get replaced by another talentless celebrity automaton. When that happens, retire to your palace of riches where you stare in the mirror and wonder if it was all worth it. But that’s in the future Kim. Today is all about tits!

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Kim Kardashian Goes Blonde Thu, 05 Mar 2015 18:04:44 +0000 Next question, does the carpet match the drapes? Kim Kardashian unveiled a new look. No, not a bigger ass or more surgically enhanced lips. She dumped a bottle of bleach on her head and turned herself blonde. If blonde jokes are to be believed, Kardashian hit new lows on the Wechsler intelligence scale.

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Kim Kardashian’s Ass in a Latex Dress Leaves Kanye Stunned Tue, 03 Mar 2015 10:32:29 +0000 Somehow, Kim Kardashian poured herself into this tight ass latex dress and Kanye definitely approved. In fact, hold onto your caps, Kanye actually smiled. A picture says a thousand words, but this one only needs five. Kanye gonna hit dat tonight. *slow golf clap*

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Kim Kardashian Licks Boogers Out Of Kanye’s Nostrils Thu, 26 Feb 2015 18:24:04 +0000 When is it love? When you can smell your significant other’s farts and be intrigued. When they wake up and you aren’t shocked by what you see. Or in Kim Kardashian’s case, when you extract boogers out of Kanye’s nose with your tongue. Kim put up a pic on Instagram and hashtagged it “#KimKAllDay”. Which if you read it really fast, reads “#KinkAllDay”, a hashtag that would actually fit really well also.


A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

In other news, Kanye went to Nando’s to grab a burger and fries ahead of his Brit Awards performance. And as Kanye does, he jumped up on a table because that kid needs attention. Attention is like water to him. Without it, he’d shrivel up and die.

To whomever didn’t know what a Kanye was, it looked like a cult gathering with some random black guy on a table and people yelling ‘Yeezus’ below.

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Kim, Khloe, Kylie And North West Escape Near Death Car Crash Sun, 22 Feb 2015 02:24:38 +0000 We almost lost American royalty yesterday. The Kardashian clan skidded of the road and briefly into oncoming traffic before sliding off into a ditch early Saturday morning. Kim and Khloe Kardashian, Kylie Jenner and North West were driving in Bozeman, Montana on icy roads when the accident happened.

…a semi-truck drove by their car and kicked up a ton of snow, hitting their windshield and apparently blinding Khloe.

Apparently Khloe couldn’t see and began swerving, right into a patch of black ice.  The car then spun out of control, crossing oncoming traffic and ending up in a ditch.

Kim had a brief moment of clarity and gratitude Instagramming a shot of snow-covered hills with the caption “Thank you God for watching over us and keeping us safe”.


It’s a surprise these three attention-mongers didn’t pose for a selfie in front of the crash. The minute these three crashed, they probably started seeing dollar signs over how much they could get for the People magazine cover and interview on the accident.

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Kim Kardashian’s Shirt Barely Covers Her Breasts Thu, 12 Feb 2015 18:46:30 +0000 Dammit, Kim Kardashian is annoying but her body ain’t bad at all. She’s got tits for those into boobs and ass for those into booties. She’s like Disneyland, something for everyone big and small. Here she shovels her chest into a tight shirt that mashes everything all up in there and yes, yes this is awesome. Penises all across America reluctantly bow in praise.

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Kim Kardashian Full Frontal Nude For Love Magazine, Talks Favorite Sex Position Mon, 09 Feb 2015 19:20:14 +0000 If you made your name off a sex video, it must be hard to always top yourself. What’s a girl like Kim Kardashian to do? You can only show your ass so many times and people see your tits all the time. Plus she’s 34, that booty has a shelf life. Kim’s gone the full monty now to up the ante. She did a spread for Love Magazine and left nothing to the imagination. Next year, we’re gonna see cucumbers up her cootch. We’re calling it now.

Cara Delevingne interviews Kim for the mag where Kim reveals her favorite sex position and how Kanye likes to see her walk around naked. As annoying as she is, that doesn’t sound half-bad.

‘I like nudity. Kanye always says, “Dress sexier” – he’s always the most encouraging,’ she added of her famous husband, who loves to style her and build up her confidence.

When asked by 22-year-old British model-cum-interviewer Cara what her favorite sexual position is, she simply replies she likes it from the back.

That’s not a surprise. But did Cara hear wrong? Did Kim say she “likes it from the back” or that she “likes it from a black”?

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Kim Kardashian Steals Bruce Jenner’s Thunder with New Haircut Sun, 08 Feb 2015 06:26:18 +0000 That Kim Kardashian, always wanting the spotlight to herself. Not content with all the media talking about Bruce Jenner killing someone or his new E! show about him turning into a woman, she put on her thinking cap and tried to one up Jenner. Another sex tape was out of the question, Kanye wouldn’t go for it. A ha! How about a new haircut? And so it came to pass. Kardashian chopped her locks and Instagrammed that shit with the caption “I cut my hair short today.” Not Instagrammed: “Condolences to the family my father killed.”

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