The Blemish » kim kardashian Better than a slap to the face Tue, 09 Sep 2014 20:06:37 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Kim Kardashian Won Woman of the Year for Some Reason Wed, 03 Sep 2014 15:59:34 +0000 GQ named Kim Kardashian GQ’s Woman of the Year thus proving GQ’s Woman of the Year is an arbitrary honor given to pretty much anyone these days. Honestly, they were probably trying to promote her GQ cover which is of her holding her breasts in a bed. A pose not unlike the one that brought her into public consciousness. The only thing missing is Ray J’s penis lodged in her uterus.

Kim told British GQ, “What a huge honor to win Woman of the Year. It’s so special.” Adding, “I want to thank my husband for making me feel like the Woman of the Year every single day.”

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Kim Kardashian Wearing This to the GQ Men of the Year Awards Tue, 02 Sep 2014 21:42:48 +0000 What the hell is this? Kim Kardashian is wearing this to the GQ Men of the Year Awards in London tonight. She looks like a confused hooker. Like a contestant in the pageant portion of Miss Whore USA.

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The Kardashians are Compassionate Mon, 25 Aug 2014 08:39:40 +0000 During the Ferguson tribute at the MTV VMAs, the Kardashians were doing this. Before you jump to conclusions, maybe they were just tweeting pictures of their tits with the caption #momentofsilence. Michael Brown would have wanted it that way.


(via @tabooradley)

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Kim Kardashian Releasing a Book of Selfies Mon, 11 Aug 2014 16:53:25 +0000 Because attempting to read an actual book written by Kim Kardashian would be the equivalent of waterboarding, Kim has decided to release a book of 352 selfies instead. Going with her strengths, Kim has repackaged a bunch of selfies she’s posted on social media for free and squished them together for $19.95.

Available April 7, 2015, the book, appropriately titled Selfish, will no doubt help the selfie-impaired level up their selfie game. It’ll also be a fantastic way of weeding out the idiots who pay for a book of free pictures. We will tag them and we will study them.

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Kim Kardashian Turned Her Passport Photo Into a Cover Shoot Wed, 06 Aug 2014 19:01:54 +0000 Leave it to Kim Kardashian to turn a passport photo into a photo shoot. If I had this much makeup caked on my face and this much airbrushing in my passport photo, they’d probably put me on a watch list.

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Kim Kardashian Posts No Makeup Selfie, Yeesh Fri, 01 Aug 2014 16:51:04 +0000 Everyone is applauding Kim Kardashian for posting this no makeup selfie of her posing next to Kendall Jenner’s Love magazine cover. Though it seems like she’s trying to overshadow her accomplishment in her own way.

You see, she’s very proud of her sister making the cover of a magazine but all attention should be focused on her because OMG, SHE’S NOT WEARING MAKEUP! So brave!

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Kim Kardashian Defends Her Fat Brother Wed, 30 Jul 2014 17:10:04 +0000 In an interview with Latina magazine, former Rob Kardashian lover and former Disney star Adrienne Bailon slammed the Kardashians.

“To be stuck with that Kardashian label, that was so hurtful to me and to my career,” Bailon said. “I probably realized that too late—not that it would’ve affected my decisions in terms of who I dated, but it would’ve affected my decision to appear on the show.”

Bailon, who was in her early 20s at the time, confessed to Latina that she didn’t think “anyone would even care.” But they did, and do. “To this day, people will still say, ‘You ruined Rob’s life!'” Bailon revealed, “and I’ll think, ‘Damn, I was still playing with Barbie dolls when I met him.'”

She also says Rob not only cheated on her but planned it all out so he could cheat on her.

“It’s common knowledge that he cheated on me,” Bailon said of Kris Jenner’s only son, 27. “It always bothered me that people were like, ‘Pero, why couldn’t you forgive him?'” She mused: “Why are women always the ones who have to forgive? If you cheated on a man, he would be like, ‘You’re disgusting, and I want nothing to do with you.’ But women, we’re supposed to be like, ‘He messed up. He made a mistake.'”

Kim has come to Fat Rob’s defense tweeting that she wouldn’t be getting this publicity if she wasn’t talking about the Kardashians.

Rob Kardsahian is down right now probably because he dropped his donuts and is scrambling to pick them up.

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Kim Kardashian’s Video Game May Earn $200 Million Tue, 15 Jul 2014 21:15:42 +0000 Surprising: Kim Kardashian has a video game. It’s called Kim Kardashian: Hollywood and it’s a freemium mobile game created by Glu Mobile. The game takes players into a virtual Hollywood where they’re guided by Kim who offers advice on how to become an A-list celebrity. It’s like GTA but winning in this game comes when you turn into a vapid famewhore with 50 million Twitter followers. Example advice from Kim includes telling players that dating someone famous can get them more fans. Users play for free but can spend money on virtual currency to buy items like digital necklaces or bursts of energy to traipse through Hollywood.

What’s more surprising: It’s on track to earn $200 million.

“There’s no such thing as bad publicity, right?” Creutz said. “Obviously, Kim Kardashian’s brand has driven people to download the game. But at this point, the game has taken on a life of its own.”

So far it’s Glu Mobile’s biggest game of the year and, oddly enough, it’s the only title in the top 10 in the App Store with a five-star rating. Which tells you a lot about people. Mainly, that they’re idiots who probably would forget to breathe unless a Kim Kardashian avatar told them to.

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This Girl Spent $30,000 to Look Like Kim Kardashian Tue, 15 Jul 2014 17:44:19 +0000 Because Kim Kardashian is the image of perfection, a 25-year-old British girl named Claire Leeson thought it’d be a great idea to spend $30,000 on surgeries to look just like her. Leeson appeared on UK show This Morning on Monday to describe the lengths she went to to look like America’s favorite famewhore.

“Firstly I started getting my teeth whitened — which I started doing at 17, 18,” she said on the show.

“Then I wanted my boobs enhanced to the same size as Kim’s.”

She also got hair extensions, thousands of dollars worth of spray tans, clothes and makeup.

She hasn’t gone to a back alley doctor to fill her butt cheeks with cement yet but says she uses a silicone implant inside her pants to mimic Kim’s fat ass. Though she’s currently “researching implants and having fat transferred from all areas of my body to put into my bum.”

As for why she’s doing this, she says she was bullied at school and it took her “two years to realize that I wasn’t [what the bullies were calling me]. I was told every day that I was the ‘ugliest thing alive’ and I should ‘kill myself’.”

That’s pretty harsh but I don’t think becoming the doppelganger of the most annoying celebrity in America is going to help with that. If her face didn’t induce blind rage before, then for sure it will now.

With all these surgeries, she’s amassed a good amount of credit card debt but says it’s all worth it. “When I get my Kimmy on I feel like I’m unstoppable and untouchable, and I feel like no one can stop me and I can make something of myself.  I feel strong.  I feel that I have built enough confidence to love myself a little bit more.”

She’s also started exclusively dating black guys. Just kidding. I think.

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Kim and Kanye Skipped Out on Honeymoon Bill or Did They? Wed, 09 Jul 2014 17:01:53 +0000 An insider says Kim Kardashian and Kanye West refused to pay a $20,000 bill for their Irish honeymoon. The two stayed in Castle Oliver in Ireland after getting married but promptly left and reversed the charges. They complained about the castle being too big and that there was no phone reception. Guys, you’re staying in a god damn castle.

But according to hotel insiders, the hotel had already ordered countless items to satisfy their over-the-top demands, and when Kimye reversed the deposit on their American Express card, the hotel staff were left on the hook for thousands!

“Everyone is shocked to say the least,” an insider said. “The castle is out a fortune on their honeymoon. It is absolutely awful.”

“They made all these requests ahead of their visit, for certain foods, champagnes, thousands in flowers, candelabras everywhere,” the insider said. “The hotel brought in everything they requested, and there were dozens of items. But then they took back all the money they had paid for them!”

The issue, the source said, is that black Amex owner Kardashian used a “high-level credit card” to pay for the venues and extras, and it “allows them to get it all refunded back at any time,” says the source.

However, the plot thickens. Calls were made to the proprietor of Castle Oliver, Emma Cormack, who said she had no idea what anyone was talked about. She started getting calls from people asking about the rumor and said, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

Cormack explained that they were paid in full and payment was exactly how they’re always paid. Through their agent in Dublin who got the booking. She was also unaware of any problems and said “everything was as it should be.”

So Kim and Kanye aren’t as big of assholes as we thought they were. The more you know.

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