From ONTD, more scans of Brad and Angelina’s twins. At first I was concerned about Knox and Vivienne. Would they turn out to be monsters? Did Hello! and PEOPLE photograph them at an angle to hide a birthmark that covered half their faces making them unattractive and therefore irrelevant? Thankfully, my fears were alleviated with these new scans. Now I can see that, yes, they really do look like average, normal babies. Phew. Crisis averted.

Bad news for those waiting on pictures of Angelina Jolie’s twins, Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline. While they made their first appearance on the covers of both Hello! Magazine and PEOPLE, there aren’t any halos above their heads or angel wings sprouting from their backs. So, continue worshiping your false deities if you must, but don’t blame me when the one true god, the almighty Zeus, smites thee.