If you were thinking Kristin Cavallari got pregnant to trap Jay Cutler in a loveless marriage, you are so wrong. According to TMZ, Kristin and Jay were shocked themselves by the news, meaning, their loveless marriage will just be by accident.

Sources close to the couple tell TMZ, K&Jay had discussed the possibility of kids — but planned to start cranking ‘em out in a few years … not any time soon. TMZ

That plan would have worked a lot better had Kristin not went through each condom and poked holes in them in a moment of panic.

Jay Cutler dumped Kristin Cavallari and called off their wedding two days after Kristin whored out a wedding dress shoot for Life & Style. That was back in August. In November, 30 bj’s later, Jay re-proposed to Kristin and now they’re re-engaged. To make sure she doesn’t get dumped again without some sort of alimony, Kristin is now pregnant. Congrats!

“We are thrilled to announce we are expecting our first child together,” they tell PEOPLE exclusively. “It’s an amazing time in our life and we can’t wait to meet the new addition to our growing family.” PEOPLE

One of the reasons Jay can’t wait to meet the new addition to their growing family is to make sure that baby isn’t black or look like a Savage.

After ending their three month engagement, Jay Cutler has re-proposed to Kristin Cavallri. Probably after she begged and pleaded for his NFL contract to work it out. Originally, Cutler broke it off with Cavallari when she wouldn’t move to Chicago to “commit to him.” She insisted she had a career in LA and was working on a TV project which ended up being Dancing With the Stars.

Kristin is reportedly “over the moon with happiness.” The original wedding date was set for summer of 2012 but a source says, “they haven’t set a new date yet.” But, no doubt, how soon the wedding will be will be proportional to how many make-up bjs Jay Cutler gets.

Kristin Cavallari shot back at rumors that she had an affair with Scott Disick saying not even her ex-fiance believed the report “for one second.” And trust her, Jay Cutler will believe anything. On The Billy Bush Show Cavallari said, “It’s 100 percent not true.”

“I just think, what convenient timing for them with their show premiering next week. With everything that’s going on for Kim, I feel like they’re trying to take the heat off her,” she said. “When there’s a big story like that, they always call you and ask if you want to comment and clearly none of them denied it.”

“It’s disrespectful to me and Jay,” Cavallari added, “and I think it just says a lot about their character.” Us Weekly

No one would put it past Kim’s team fabricating this story to distract from the bad press caused by Kim divorcing after 72 days of marriage. This denial should have come much sooner though. If I was a reality show star, I’d have a Google alert specifically for my name and Scott Disick. I wouldn’t want to be mentioned in the same sentence as that d-bag much less be linked to an affair with him. I’d rather that story say I enjoy eating cat poop rather than claim I slept with American Psycho over there.

A good gold digger never admits defeat. Since being dumped by Jay Cutler two weeks into their engagement, Kristin Cavallari has been scrambling for money. Now it seems Kristin can breathe a sigh of relief and put that sex tape back in her rainy day jar because she and Jay may be getting back together.

“They’re not officially back together but they’re definitely talking and figuring things out,” the source says.

“Everything happened too fast when they first got together,” explains the source. “So this time they’re taking things slow.”

With Cavallari’s Dancing with the Stars schedule and Cutler’s football season underway, the two haven’t physically spent time together again yet. But, says the source, “they’re talking a lot.” — PEOPLE

Can you imagine how Kirstin Cavallari felt when she thought she’d have to become a struggling reality tv actress her entire life like Khloe Kardashian pre-Lamar Odom? I wouldn’t say she was going to commit seppuku but she probably thought really hard about it.

According to Gatecrasher, ever since Jay Cutler dumped Kristin Cavallari, she’s been scrambling for money. Apparently marrying rich was her way out of the world of middling celebrity. Now she’s stuck in D-list purgatory.

According to a source familiar with the situation, Cavallari has been aggressively searching for new revenue streams in the form of endorsements, events and party hosting. After leaving the reality-TV game a few years ago, she’s also working on a new show — “all things she thought she never had to do again had Jay Cutler not dumped her,” says our source.

Strange considering the reason Jay dumped her was because she wouldn’t leave her career in LA. Turns out she never had one and was hoping her marriage to a guy who could net $50 million with the Chicago Bears would give her enough money to dick around in LA.

Jay Cutler dumped Kristin Cavallari because she wouldn’t give up her career of making club appearances in LA and calling paparazzi to take her photos. Now she’s on the rebound and what better guy to rebound to than Ben Savage from Boy Meets World.

Because if I was a woman who got dumped, banging Ben Savage would be the first thing that would pop into my head when I asked myself how I’d go about making my pro NFL quarterback ex jealous.

Two days after her wedding dress shoot for Life & Style, Kristin Cavallari was dumped by Jay Cutler. How embarrassing.

Just two days before Kristin Cavallari’s fiancé, Jay Cutler, broke off their engagement, she was glowing with excitement while trying on a series of wedding dresses at her exclusive Life & Style photo shoot. The reality star looked dazzling in gowns by Anne Bowen and Mon Cheri Bridals as she gushed about her plans for a traditional wedding and her vision of walking down the aisle in a strapless gown. “I want a romantic, mystical wedding, with lots of flowers,” she shared with Life & Style during the shoot at LA’s Mondrian Hotel on July 21

Now, an insider close to Kristin reveals that the real trouble began the very next day—on July 22—when Jay asked her to fly back to Chicago with him the following morning.

“Kristin said she didn’t want to because she’s working on a new TV project and had a full day of shooting scheduled for Tuesday [July 26],” the insider explains. But Jay was angry about it and the argument escalated. “He told her that she needed to commit to him, and to move to Chicago,” the insider continues. When it became clear that Kristin had no intention of giving up her career in entertainment, Jay broke up with her — returning to Chicago alone on July 23.

A romantic, mystical wedding? So smoke machine and candles? No wonder Jay dumped this girl. She sounds like an idiot. The only thing that could make this even more embarrassing is if the TV project was a reality show centered around her upcoming wedding. That is to say, I hope it was. *Crosses fingers*

Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler has dumped Kristin Cavallari (Hills) two months into their engagement, a week after posting their wedding registry and a week after her engagement party on Saturday. The news came as a shock to Kristin who was so excited that she bought a Monique Lhuillier wedding gown only two weeks ago. I lack ovaries so I don’t quite grasp the significance of that. E! says,

“Jay got cold feet,” a source close to the couple told E! News. “Kristin is stunned.”

The source said the couple had been disagreeing over some issues recently, particularly how Cavallari would balance her career while living in Chicago with Cutler during the football season.

Kristin Cavallari has a career? That’s news to me. What does she do exactly besides pose for paparazzi and make appearances at clubs? And can you call that a career? I suspect Jay asked these same questions during their argument which undoubtedly left Cavallari just as stumped as me.

Good news everybody. That girl who was once famous for being on that reality show that spawned a bunch of other reality show spinoffs starring that other girl and now is just known as that former reality show star is getting married! That’s right. I’m talking about Kristin Cavallari. She’s marrying Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler.

Cutler whisked her away on a surprise trip to Cabo San Lucas over the weekend where he proposed to her. She said yes, apparently. Most women usually do when a millionaire football star proposes to them. He must have gotten fantastic head when he gave her that ring.

When she’s not craving a Subway sandwich or demanding cops bring her drunk ass water, Kristin Cavallari is wearing lingerie and doing photoshoots with famous celebrity photographer Tyler Shields.

Tyler has the most amazing job in the world. Girls don’t even question it when he tells them to strip down and take pictures with him. Not only that, they actually want them posted on the internet. Crazy! The last time I tried that, I had to show up in front of a mean judge. What’s your secret, Tyler?

Kristin Cavallari’s mother was arrested for a DUI in Chicago last month during a 2 AM Subway run. Kristin’s mom, Judith Spies, was pulled over and field sobriety tested while Kristin sat in the passenger seat demanding the cops get her water.

Police in Barrington, Illinois confirm Kristin’s mom — Judith Spies (that’s her mug shot above) — was pulled over at a DUI checkpoint at 2:15 AM late last month. Law enforcement sources tell us Kristin was riding shotgun at the time, and apparently she was a pretty hungry passenger.

We’re told Kristin insisted on fleeing to a nearby Subway and yelled at cops to get her water while Mom went through field sobriety testing with officers. As one source put it, “Subway might be open in ‘The Hills’ but not here in Barrington at 2 AM.”

In Kristin’s defense, the police motto is “to protect and serve.” So where’s the god damn service? Kristin is so going to give the Barrington PD a one star review on Yelp for this.

Kristin Cavallari was also in Vegas over the weekend at Liquid Pool in Aria. She told PEOPLE on Saturday that she’s not the bitch MTV makes her out to be. In fact, she mentions, she was just in El Salvador rebuilding “this whole school.” Aww, she’s a humanitarian now.

She probably didn’t even help build that school. They probably walked around giving her a tour while she sipped on a mojito watching volunteers sweat in the sun hammering 2×4′s. Whatever though. She’s hot in spite of her bobble-head and that makes up for a lot. Hot people can get away with a lot. Take Jessica Alba for example. She could stab me in the stomach and my hands would still be covering my crotch trying to hide my erection.