I’ve neglected the Week in Shoots for a couple weeks but stability was never my strong suit. Just ask my illegitimate children. Here’s a round-up of what happened this week.

• Christina Aguilera dribbled what looked like period blood down her leg during her Etta James performance which turned out to be fake tanner.
• The SAG Awards happened and Dick Van Dyke was really excited about it.
• NBC got cold feet and pulled the donkey semen Fear Factor episode.
• Nick Carter showed what a good kisser he was.
• Elisabetta Canalis traded down and made out with Steve-O.
• Joan Rivers got high on TV.
• Blake Lively announced her number.
• Channing Tatum made Rachel McAdams a prosthetic penis.
• Eli Roth became the primary suspect in the Selena Gomez murder case.
• Snooki peed herself.

As for what you’ll find in today’s photoshoot round-up.

• Arianny Celeste in Complex.
• Elisha Cuthbert in Shape.
• Elizabeth Olson in ASOS.
• Kim Kardashian in an Esquire shoot.
• Leighton Meester shot by Mark Lidell.
• Taylor Momsen in FHM (again?).
• Tori Praver in lingerie.

Everyone is talking about Blake Lively at the 100th episode Gossip Girl party what with her being blonde, having big boobs and wearing a semi-see-through dress but they should be talking about Leighton Meester as well. She isn’t blonde, doesn’t have as big boobs and didn’t wear a see-through dress, but damned if she’s not trying. She looked fantastic in her low cut outfit. I think all the other cast members should follow their lead. I’m looking at you Pnn Badgley, Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick. Tits or GTFO.

Gossip Girl star Leighton Meester, last seen munching on a gigantic pretzel, is apparently hooking up with Mac Guy, Justin Long. The two are in New York where Leighton is filming Gossip Girl.

A source told us, “Justin has a place on the Lower East Side, and they have been spending a lot of time together.” In May, the pair were spotted sharing a romantic dinner in LA before leaving restaurant La Poubelle holding hands. Long split with Drew Barrymore last year. Meester played Long’s girlfriend who leaves him at the beginning of the 2010 movie “Going the Distance.” [Page Six]

On Justin Long’s IMDB profile it should just read, “Quietly banging Hollywood since 2001.” There’s really no reason anyone should be dating that dork but they are and he stays out of the press for the most part. What’s his secret? Is it a big penis, a gigantic hunting knife or a combination of the two?

If you haven’t heard, prison baby Leighton Meester is suing her mom because she says the money she sent to her little brother was used for her mom’s plastic surgery, Botox and hair extensions.

The suit claims Leighton’s mom didn’t want to work and Leighton felt bad for her little brother Lex, who has medical issues, so she sent $7,500 monthly to her mom so she could take care of Lex. Instead of going to Lex, Leighton’s mom funneled the money to herself for plastic surgery and personal expenses. Constance, Leighton’s mom, even tried to trick Leighton into paying a $10,000 by claiming they had an oral contract. When she wouldn’t pay, Constance threatened her with a $3 million lawsuit. Leighton wants a judge to declare there is no contract between them.

If you thought Constance Meester, who’s not above extorting her own daughter, was going to take this lying down, then you’d be wrong. Dead wrong.

Constance now claims in a countersuit that Leighton threw her to the ground in December and “repeatedly hit her with a bottle.” The suit goes on to allege that Leighton was so crazed that her little brother had to pull her off.

In Leighton’s defense, Constance does sound like a complete bitch. Any judge would rule that she was just begging to be hit by a bottle. In a way, she was asking for it.

Leighton Meester got this new hairdo a while ago but better pictures came out recently. I don’t know how I feel about it. Actually, yes, I do know how I feel about it and it’s not good. She looks like Rebecca Black. Dear God, what have you done to yourself, Leighton Meester?

Gossip Girl’s Leighton Meester may be dating Justin Long. A witness tells PEOPLE they were holding hands outside La Poubelle in Hollywood where they ate dinner on Sunday for two hours. Rumor is Justin will ask Leighton to go steady with him at the sock hop.

An onlooker said, “They were happily willing to talk to fans who approached them.”

This is an upgrade over Drew Barrymore. Leighton Meester is hot so this is impressive as well for a guy who walked around in front of a white screen shilling for Apple. It almost makes me want to buy a Mac. I mean, you don’t see the PC guy banging Blake Lively. Someone also told me using a Mac makes your penis bigger. is that true? Because I have my doubts.

Hey, why are you looking at me like that. Technically the title was true.

Someone took a picture of Leighton Meester and her friend getting close at the pool and posted it on the internet and it just arrived here by overnight erection express intertubes. This will probably be the closest you’ll get to real girl-on-girl action with this chick so enjoy.

Here’s a screen from Minka Kelly and Leighton Meester’s Single White Female re-imagining called The Roommate. Judging by the still, this is loosely based on my life. Get out of my head, Leighton Meester!

Before we get to the interview, what’s up with the photo? Did they tell her to come down to the hotel bar in just her bra and panties and then throw a bucket of water on her when she showed up? Because if so, then awesome.

In the latest issue of Allure, Leighton Meester talks about the time when she was a crazy party girl getting into all kinds of trouble. No, not really.

“We had craaaazy parties, we had DJ’s, bands, an ice luge, a fire twirler,” the actress, 24, tells the mag’s December issue of sharing a North Hollywood pad with a group of pals in her late teens. “One of my roommates burned off her bangs on the stove trying to light a cigarette.”

Oh, wow. Some girl burned her bangs? That’s craaaaazy! The party didn’t stop when she moved to NYC though. No, sir. She was out, like, all the time! O-M-G!

“We would go out all the time,” she tells the mag. “I’ve never gotten too crazy, but I definitely got to have experiences. Now, I don’t want to do anything that’s unhealthy for me.”

“I mean, drinking is one thing — overdrinking is another. And drugs are something that I do not tolerate at all. You’d be surprised how many people do it. If you go out and you’re living the nightlife scene, that’s what people do.”

Leighton is not into playing the field either (read: being a whore like Paris Hilton) but does love sex.

“I don’t see the point in dating,” Meester tells Allure. “I hate it. It’s wonderful to be in love. And it’s definitely wonderful to cuddle and have sex and get to experience life with somebody. But it’s OK if you don’t find him and you’re 24. You can find it someday.”

Well, golly gee. What a boring look into the life of Leighton Meester. I’ve read more revealing things off the back of a jar of peanut butter.

Us Weekly (via Celebitchy) claims that Leighton Meester, at the November 10th  CMA Awards to promote her supporting role in Country Strong, was nervous before presenting an award and that, luckily, Carrie Underwood was backstage to calm her down.

Carrie said to Leighton, “Get out there and don’t f-ck up,” which ended up making Leighton even more nervous. Go figure.

The source added, “Later, someone said to Carrie, ‘That was mean,’ and Carrie said, ‘She’ll get over it. Someone said that to me once and I got over it.’”

This is like that movie Pay It Forward but instead of doing a good deed, everyone acts real bitchy to each other but hopefully they still end up wrestling in sheer clothes in the rain. That happened in the movie, right?

I noticed my last Teen Choice Awards post didn’t include the important people. To make it up to you, here they are. If you thought the last set had hot chicks in it, wait until you see Leighton Meester, Megan Fox, Shailene Woodley, Victoria Justice and Ian Somerhalder. Rawr. The next set I’m putting up will be even sexier than this one. It’ll be 30 photos of me shirtless and flexing in the mirror. Grr, I’m strong!

Bad news Twilight fans. Your fantasies of a real life Edward Cullen/Bella Swan relationship are about to come to a crashing halt meaning… PANIC! You may have nothing to live for anymore!

Sources spotted Pattinson entering “Gossip Girl” stunner Leighton Meester’s New York City apartment, according to celebrity magazine In Touch Weekly.

“He ducked out of the building and hopped into a waiting car,” the source said.

“He apparently spent the night with Leighton and didn’t want anyone to know.

“She’s having a texting romance with him and is so into it. She talks with Rob almost daily,” the source said.

You know who else talks to Robert daily? The women on the Twilight forums. But I’m going to let you in on a little secret. That’s not the real Robert Pattinson telling them “TITS OR GTFO!”. Unless they’re under 18, in which case, that was totally the real Robert Pattinson saying “TITS OR GTFO!” Heh heh heh. I’m so clever.

Note: For some reason the wax Robert Pattinson looks more manly than the real Robert Pattinson.

[Fame]

When she doesn’t dress like a $3 hooker (here and here), Leighton Meester can look real hot as seen in the March 2010 edition of InStyle. Rawr!

Note that she was also in the March 2009 edition of InStyle. Does InStyle just cycle through the same 12 people every year? Stop being so repetitive, InStyle.