The St. Petersburg Times quotes Kimberley Kohn, attorney to the family of the guy Nick Hogan put in a coma, in regards to a crazy tale of deception by the Hogans. Kimberley claims Linda is divorcing Hulk Hogan in an effort to protect their assets in the likely event their sued. The SPT reports,

But if the Supra and the Viper are not registered to both parents, it could be harder to go after Mrs. Bollea individually, Kohn said. The mother’s degree of control over who used the vehicles would have to be determined.

Kohn said she would proceed with a civil suit as if the couple were married. She and attorney George Tragos, who represents Graziano’s mother Debra, will handle any civil suit, which she expects will be filed in 2008.

I wonder if that means there’s still a chance Nick might lose the Supra and the Viper. That would suck. A divorce AND a suit that could possibly leave Nick with no cars? In Nick’s own words, “Nooooo!” In Nick’s friend’s own words, ” “. Yep. I’m probably going to hell for that one.

Despite a few reports claiming Linda Hogan wants to work things out, documents make it clear what she wants following the divorce. A share of the Hogan’s two multi-million dollar estates and alimony and child support for their son, Speed Racer Speed Killer Speed Coma-er? Nick Hogan.

The marital assets that need to be equitably divided include the nearly 17,000-square-foot mansion in Belleair where the family lives and a 3,474-square-foot home on Clearwater Beach.

Pinellas County records place the market value of the Belleair mansion at more than $7.2 million and the Clearwater house at more than $2.2 million. The Bolleas also have a condominium under construction in Las Vegas.

Nick Hogan is turning 18 next year and he’s still in trouble for putting his friend in a coma. Footage of his mom encouraging drag racing was recently unearthed. Why a judge would give custody of Nick to Linda is beyond me. Unless it’s to form a life endangering drag racing duo to save the world from nefarious pedestrians one innocent bystander at a time. Come to think of it, that would be a clever move. For too long have we suffered under the iron fist of people using the crosswalk.

Before I forget, here’s their more muscular son in a bikini. If this was Sparta, they would have kept Brooke and thrown Nick off a cliff.

Last Tuesday, Linda Hogan filed for divorce from her husband of 23 years, Hulk Hogan. When the St. Petersburg Times asked the Hulkster for a comment on Friday, he said, “Whaaaa?!” or “No one divorces the Hulkster, brother,” or maybe this,

Reached by phone on Friday night, Terry Bollea said he had no idea his wife had filed for divorce. When informed during the call that the paperwork was submitted on Tuesday, Bollea said politely, “Thank you for the great information,” and hung up.

He called back about five minutes later.

“I’m kind of shocked,” he said. “You caught me off-guard. My wife has been in California for about three weeks. … Holy smokes. Wow, you just knocked the bottom out of me. … I just pulled over to the side of the road for five minutes to find out what was going on here.”

Things aren’t going so great for the Hogan family. Their daughter has a penis, their son put his friend in a coma, Linda Hogan gave birth to them and Hulk Hogan has an ongoing love affair with doo-rags. Now that I think about it, maybe the doo-rag caused the rift in their marriage. Does he wear it during sex? If not, that would be pretty creepy. I’d think 23 years of watching a guy with a ring of long, frosty locks around his obviously bald head grunting and poking you for 5 minutes is enough of a reason to contemplate divorce. The judge should be pretty sympathetic.

Nick Hogan’s license has been suspended following a car crash that left his passenger in a coma. Nick was under the influence of alcohol at the time and considering he’s 17, that’s probably not going to help his case. Yesterday, AbcActionNews.com unearthed old footage of Nick’s mom, Linda, drag racing with her daughter in the passenger seat and later, extolling the virtues of said activity. The footage isn’t expected to help Nick’s case either.

At one point in the documentary, his mother was asked how she feels about street racing. Her answer: “Oh, I love it. I love it. The rush, the speed on the road, stereo blasting, heart-pounding, racing in between all the cars, dodging the cops. It’s awesome.”

Linda Hogan denied ever saying that when asked by ABC. I would believe her if it wasn’t for the blatant video footage. So, is Linda a complete and utter retard? Unequivocally, yes. She’s a big retard. Linda in the court room will be fun. They’ll play the tape in front of her and ask her about it and she’ll say, “I would never say those things. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” When the lawyer tells her to watch the tape playing right in front of her, Linda would reply, “What tape?” Then she’d put her hands over her ears and spin around in circles eventually vomiting from the dizziness. Following her lead, the other 3 Hogans will begin doing the same thing because according to this fancy science journal, stupidity is hereditary.