Kristen Bell closes a car door on her hand. Nothing happened so the world can breathe a sigh of relief.

Lou Diamond Phillips is arrested for beating his wife. “The deadly weapon, police said, was bodily force.” I didn’t know Lou Diamond Phillips was turning into Steven Seagal.

Kanye West is engaged to some woman no one has ever heard of. President Bush still hates black people.

Elle Macpherson and Heidi Klum are in a battle over who should rightfully be known as “The Body”. This rivalry may be more intense than when there were to Undertakers in the WWF. Also in the link is Stephen Baldwin offering happy couples a chance to have a threesome with God. Is God a fan of facials?

Brad Pitt tries to assert his dominance, but Angelina Jolie laughs and moves into a hotel. Brad Pitt is now in search of testicular fortitude.

This is somewhat related right? Kristen Bell and Christina Milian at the premiere of Pulse.