At the Toronto Film Festival press screening of Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle’s new film, last Saturday, New York Post film critic Lou Lumenick started yelling “Don’t touch me!” as the lights dimmed. Ten minutes go by and he yells again, “I said don’t touch me!” Minutes pass again, but this time, Lou “stands up in the darkness and thwacks the guy behind him with a big festival binder. He hit him so hard everybody could hear it. Everyone freaked out and turned around.”

It turns out Lou hit Chicago-Sun Times critic Roger Ebert who was tapping him on the shoulder trying to signal him to move over a bit because he couldn’t see the movie. Roger Ebert, of course, can no longer speak because of thyroid and salivary gland cancer. The source tells NYDN that although Loumenick was surprised at who he hit, but didn’t apologize.

Bwahahahaha. Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh, but it sounds hilarious. I can just imagine Lou hitting Ebert with a big binder and the only thing the mute Ebert can do is sit there with a scared look on his face, waving his hands wildly in the air trying to telepathically tell him, “Please, mister. No more, no more!”

[Roger Ebert at the 17th Annual Gotham Awards. Photo via Splash News.]