Lynne Spears went on the Today Show to promote her book, Through the Storm, and talk about raising her two daughters. Lynne explains why she wrote the book: “I wanted people to see our family as we really are,” and describes how she felt when she found out her daughter was pregnant.

“It [a note Jamie Lynn wrote and told her to read in the bedroom] said she was pregnant and everything was going to be OK. She was going to raise it … I thought it was a joke. I was waiting for the punch line,” Lynne told Vieira.

“I was in shock. I think I was just truly in shock, and then I started to cry. And she started consoling me at that point.”

The first thought that went through her head when she realized Jamie Lynn wasn’t joking was, “What if I kicked her in the stomach. Would that do anything? I don’t know. I think I should try. Ok. Let’s do it.” *Kick* “Oh great, just great. Now she’s crying and I don’t think it worked.”

Longer first part here

In Lynne Spears’ upcoming book,Through the Storm, she says she’d still let her kids pursue stardom despite knowing what she knows now and she admits that “every mother makes mistakes and I’m not different.” She goes on to say:

“I wanted the truth out in my own words for myself and my family,” she tells PEOPLE of writing the book, which chronicles Britney’s highly publicized troubles and Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy at 16. The latter, says Lynne, “was probably the hardest time in my life.”

I’m sure Lynne would let them do this all over again. The money is probably really good. If my kids were able to bleed millions of dollars, I’d be willing to make a concentrated effort to screw up their lives as well. I’d personally shuttle them to clubs and ask that dealer on the street corner for an eight ball of coke. Then I’d push them out of my car and tell them to “Be popular. Don’t screw this up for me.”

[Lynne Spears keeps her mouth shut when asked about how daughter Jamie-Lynn's new baby is. Photo via Splash News]

Lynne Spears’ tell-all about Britney Spears is being hyped as much as possible with bits of information being released here and there. The latest are the shocking revelations that Britney lost her virginity at 14 with an 18-year-old high school football player, started doing drugs at 15, slept with Justin Timberlake at 16 and was caught with cocaine and weed while on a private Jet, also at 16.

Lynne, 53, tells how she regrets handing over control of Britney’s career to managers and allowing her daughter to be promoted as a sex object in raunchy videos at such a young age.

The silver lining in this is that Lynne gets to profit from writing a book about her awful parenting. Sure, Britney’s childhood may have been visciously stripped from her by Lynne and the industry, but at least it all worked out in the end.

Britney’s mother, Lynne Spears’, book, Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World, will finally be released September 16. The book is purported to be a memoir about her “backseat role in Britney’s path to fame.” Publisher, Thomas Nelson, says the book will take readers,

“beyond the reach of the paparazzi and outside the narrow orbit of the Hollywood glitterati to share the inside story of the Spears family-as only a mother can tell it.”

The book details:

• Her regret in abdicating parental authority to managers, agents and record companies
• Her response to Jamie Lynn’s teen pregnancy
• The startling events that led to Britney’s meltdown and Lynne’s showdown with manager Sam Lufti

In other words, just another way to try to capitalize off the fame of Britney and Jamie Lynn. There’s no doubt that if Jamie Lynn ever became a drug addict, Lynne would write a book about it before she tried to help her get clean. That way, she can write another book right after titled: Beyond the Looking Glass,  How I profited off of my two daughters and bought this mansion, or Bwahahahahhaha.

Lynne Spears talked to Life & Style about Jamie Lynn and gave her thoughts on that thing growing inside Jamie’s womb. It seems she’s not too fond of the situation.

“I’m a bit disappointed that my youngest daughter got pregnant at such an early age,” she tells Life & Style. “All I can do is turn to God for answers and just leave it in his hands.”

She also discussed Britney’s current state of mind.

I pray for Britney every day to be a better mother. She’s gone through a lot of trauma, but she seems to be coming out of it — and it’s showing in her relationship with the boys. They’re really bonding. I think 2008 will be a better year for all of us.”

If Lynne Spears had any sense at all, she would have beat these two with a stick like a normal parent. That and slip abortion pills in Jamie Lynn’s vodka and Apple Jacks breakfast. And after, thrown herself off a cliff just in case someone leaves a baby at her doorstep for her to raise.

Earlier, it was reported that Britney was to stay at Cedars for a 72 hour evaluation because of her bipolar disorder getting out of control. Evidently, the hospital made the decision to release her before then because they no longer viewed her as a danger to herself or others. But before all that, supposedly, at the behest of the Spears family, Dr. Phil made an impromptu visit to Cedars-Sinai and made a 15 minute pitch to convince Britney Spears to be on his show as part of a TV intervention. Britney was not happy and walked out; making it clear she would never go on the show. She eventually came back in. TMZ spoke to eight psychiatrists who were all shocked Cedars would allow Dr. Phil to visit Britney without her knowledge or consent. Had TMZ spoken to me, the leading authority in awesome, I would have told them donuts are tasty. Britney who?

Dr. Phil eventually spoke to Entertainment Tonight to clear the air. Phil said,

“I want to set the record straight. I went to see Britney at the request of her family. I talked to Lynne, Jamie, and Brian, because they were frustrated that she wasn’t going to be held for a longer time. Thursday night, the phone rang, it was Lynne, clearly she was very upset. Any parent would be. I was first contacted by her family a year ago, and had maintained a running dialogue for the last year or so.”

Let me get this straight. Lynne Spears called a TV doctor to help fix her daughter. This is the same Lynne Spears who made her other teen daughter do an interview with OK! Magazine about her unplanned pregnancy. No, she’s not self-serving at all. She’s a fantastic, caring mother. With this kind of parenting, I wonder how Britney became so screwed up. She should have turned out to be a fine, upstanding role model for little girls. Instead, she’s a perpetually hungry, human cookie monster with a bipolar disorder who holds her kid hostage when she doesn’t get her way. Where did Lynne go wrong?

For anyone who didn’t already know, Lynne Spears thinks of her two kids as cash cows and uses every opportunity she has to cash in on their fame. Even if it means forcing them into the spotlight and selling their stories to the highest bidder. Us says Lynne Spears made sure to keep Britney out of the loop on the OK! Magazine deal to make sure Britney didn’t screw up Lynne’s payday. Us Weekly talked to some of Jamie’s friends who said she never even wanted to be a celebrity while her co-star on Zoey 101 says,

“Jamie wanted something different for her life, and her mom put her in situations she didn’t want to be in,”

What a fantastic mother. The first thing Lynne Spears probably did when Jamie told her she was pregnant was make that slot machine lever pulling motion with her arm and go “Cha-ching!”

In other news, there’s a rumor that Casey Aldridge is being paid off to pretend he’s the father to cover up for an older executive who works on Zoey 101 so he won’t face statutory rape charges. Wow. Being a Spears must feel like living in a magical fairy tale full of never ending possibilities.

In the least surprising news of the day, Lynne Spears’ parenting book has been “delayed indefinitely“. In essence, it’s pretty much canceled despite the spokeswoman for the publishing company saying otherwise. Huh. That’s quite strange.

You’ll also be surprised to learn 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears and 19-year-old boyfriend, Casey Aldridge, were in “complete and total shock” over the pregnancy. Who knew that you could get pregnant when the woman was on top or when you douche right away. What is that? A one in a million chance? Crazy.

What message does she want to send to other teens about premarital sex? “I definitely don’t think it’s something you should do; it’s better to wait,” she told the magazine. “But I can’t be judgmental because it’s a position I put myself in.”

Jamie is still an idiot. There’s no mention of birth control, condoms or that third option that proved so successful for her older sister; spinning around in a circle after sex. According to Britney, the spinning motion creates a vortex in the vagina which sucks the sperm straight out.

I also like how her and her mother went straight to the press before even telling Britney. I thought that was a nice touch.

Britney Spears is furious with her mother, Lynne Spears, for insisting she go to rehab and refuses to speak with her. Britney didn’t even visit Lynne, who was and still is in the hospital with pneumonia, on Mother’s Day.

“Britney says her mom betrayed her and she refuses to get over it,” the source told the Enquirer. “When she was told to give her mom a call, Britney said: ‘I’m busy, I have my own kids now.’ “

The bar has been lowered so next year anything will be better. Used toilet paper? Thanks! A severed cat head? I’ve always wanted a pet. Toenail clippings? Aww, something to remember you by. A hug would probably make Lynne’s head explode with rainbows and sunbeams.