The November issue of W features an interview with Angelina Jolie where she reveals she’s already bought Maddox knives. Gasp!

“My mom took me to buy my first daggers when I was 11 or 12. And I’ve already bought Maddox some things. We take him to a special shop.” She emphasizes that the knife blades are dulled so they’re not dangerous, and that the purchases are accompanied by discussions about violence. But, she says, “we also talk about samurais and about the idea of defending someone as good. We talk about everything.”

No freaking way. If Angelina thinks she can corner the child knife fight video market and do it with dulled knives, she better think again. I have an armory full of sharp weaponry and five basements worth of hungry children ready to do battle. We’ll see who’s better at child exploitation. Your or me. It’s on, bitch.

Star Magazine claims that Brad and Angelina’s house is in chaos. Infighting between the kids is common and has left their mini-U.N. in shambles. Shiloh already has a chipped tooth and always comes back with bruises and a fat lip. Maddox and Pax are always trying to be the alpha male while Zahara is always being a bitch.

But it’s little Zahara, 3, who really rules the roost! “She screams and shouts at the boys when she doesn’t get her way,” says the source. Not even Shiloh, 22 months, is safe — and the toddler has the battle scars to prove it. “Z is always pushing or scratching her.”

Zahara’s picking on Shiloh is usually motivated by snacks. “Z once clawed Shiloh’s cheek after she tried to take her cookie,” says an insider who witnessed one incident. “She’s always pulling on Shiloh’s hair so she can steal her food.”

And little Shiloh has more than her hair to worry about! Recently while Shiloh’s three older siblings roughhoused, she got knocked down and chipped a tooth! “Angie gets worried when Shi plays with them,” says the insider. “She always comes back with a scraped knee or a fat lip!”

A source claims the problem is directly tied to the fast food, pizza, chips and soft drinks they’re fed. I claim the problem is that they’re kids acting like kids and that they just haven’t met Mr. Belt yet. Ha ha, but no, really. Violence against children is bad. Unless they’re being too loud during Lost. In that case, I find pile driving them onto the floor works really well to shut them up.

Durrr. Happy Wednesday and lets hope those see through pics of Scarlett Johansson finally show up.

• Live blogging of American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile. Wow, I thought I was the only one who loved pain. [Pajiba]
• Top Chef’s Marcel gets beat down by a girl with a bottle. [Evil Beet]
• Anna Nicole and Larry Birkhead insult each other over AIM. [ASL]
• Angelina Jolie and Maddox spent $700 on a shower. No word on if it was of the golden variety. Probably wasn’t. [ICYDK]
• Jennifer Aniston will guest star on Dirt where she will play Courtney Cox’s lesbian lover and make fun of Brad Pitt. That’s petty Jennifer. [Celebitchy]
• Jessica Alba signs with Tom Cruise’s company to do another Asian horror remake. [Glitterati]
• Naomi Campbell has not yet reformed. [Celebslam]
• 20 greatest guitar solos ever. Ever?! [CityRag]
• Tara Reid at Sundance. Probably shopping for alcohol or for clothes made out of alcohol. [Celebrity Smack]

Whose vagina is going to ring in the New Year?

1. Star Jones’ husband went to some good schools. Also might be gay. [Evil Beet]
2. 10 best celebrity encounters with the law. [BWE]
3. Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore shop. Fug and sidekick fug are at it again. [Celebrity Smack]
4. Maddox Jolie Pitt is the best celebrity kid. [CityRag]
5. Ryan Phillipe buys lingerie for his, erm, girlfriend. [Celebitchy]
6. Britney Spears dumped by another publicist. [Egotastic]