Marc Jacobs has a new skin cancer awareness campaign called Protect the Skin You’re In and between you and me it sounds like a clever ruse to get models like Marisa Miller to get naked. I’m on to you, Marc Jacobs. Respect.

I don’t know if Marisa Miller knows this or not but she could be a model. She should look into that. In fact, come over to my place to discuss the details. Don’t mind the portable halogens, stained couch and video camera. That’s all part of the process, baby. You want to be famous, right?

Marisa Miller is in the March 2010 issue of Vegas magazine. The cover claims she “bares” it inside, but that’s a total lie. The only thing she’s baring is some leg. Unless they’re talking about her “baring” her soul in the interview. If that’s the case, then they got me. I’ll get you for this trickery, Vegas magazine!

Tiiu Kuik, Liliana Dominguez, Michelle Alves, Michelle Buswell, Maja Latinovic and Marisa Miller are all in the latest issue of the UK GQ posing virtually topless. It’s one of those deals where they’re breasts are still covered. But that shouldn’t be a problem if, like me, you ordered those x-ray glasses. I have a good feeling about these things.

I used to think flag football as for kids under 6, women or nancy boys, but now I see that Tom Arnold has the right idea, playfully letting Marisa Miller tackle him at the DIRECTV 4th Annual Celebrity Beach Bowl over the weekend. If this was me, I’d have to sit out for a quarter because of the massively painful boner I’d have.

[Miami, February 6. Images via INF.]

Here are a few shots of Marisa Miller backstage at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. I can’t tell you why all the pictures look like they were shot from the vantage point of a 9-year-old who was given a camera and told to sneak in, but I can tell you that he was rewarded handsomely.

The annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show took place last night in New York. You’ll probably be really excited watching a bunch of hot chicks like Heidi Klum, Alessandra Ambrosio, Marisa Miller, Doutzen Kroes, Miranda Kerr and others walk around the runway in ridiculous looking lingerie. Not me though. Why would I get excited about a regular Saturday night? (I have the 2008 show taped and watch it every Saturday night. I’m so lonely.) The show airs Tuesday, Dec. 1 on CBS. Hit the gallery for 120+ pictures.

When I was in school, doing a certain number of hours of community service was a requirement. One volunteer job, I handed out Popsicles to people doing a YMCA marathon. Another job, a nail went through my foot while I was shoveling pieces of wood into the back of a pickup. Yet another job, I was a timer at swim trials where a bunch of chicks changed in and out of their swimsuits underneath a towel right in front of me. My point is, that last one is probably the closest I’ll ever come to having a job like that girl adjusting Marisa Miller’s bikini has. Aww, crap. Now I’m depressed.

Jade Anderson, Amanda Bynes, Hayden Panettiere, Marisa Miller and Dania Ramirez have all posed for this mysterious Room 23 thing. I’m still not sure what it is. Where can I find this Room 23? At which hotel is it at? Why wasn’t I invited? Why am I never invited? C’mon, invite me. God, you guys are such jerks.

Before Marisa Miller was ever a Victoria’s Secret Angel, she modeled for Perfect 10. A lot of you have seen those shots of her on the tennis court (was it the tennis court?), but these aren’t those. These are something else entirely. You may want to hold on to your socks because they’re about to be knocked off.

Update: Images removed by request.

If I was invited backstage to see this, my head would explode. I wouldn’t even be able to get a word out. The only thing you’d hear from me is a short, high pitched grunt before I started sobbing and stammering about how this is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I mean, that fabric is just to die for!

For whatever reason, Marisa Miller hit up the Grammy Awards yesterday despite her lack of musical relevance. It’s safe to say people didn’t ask questions. Marisa Miller could show up to a funeral to do an impromptu photo shoot and the closest thing to an objection would be someone asking why her tits are still covered.

Marisa Miller is still shooting in St. Bart’s for Victoria’s Secret, but this time she brought along a friend. A model friend. Selita Ebanks. Whoa. I see your game, Marisa. Is this some kind of elaborate plan to coax me into a threesome? Because it’s working. Really well.