Adriana Lima is pregnant. Married on Valentine’s Day, she and husband Marko Jaric are expecting to deliver in the winter. Lima claimed to be saving her virginity for marriage. In hindsight, that was a good idea. It sounds like Marko’s penis barely touched her and she got pregnant.

“Adriana and Marko are overjoyed that they are expecting their first child together and are excited to share the happy news and start their family together,” say reps.

A lot of people say Adriana Lima is one of the hottest Victoria’s Secret models, but I don’t see it. She looks a little rat-like. Not like Alessandra Ambrosio or Heidi Klum. What I’m trying to say is don’t expect their baby to be blessed with supermodel looks. Especially since Marko looks like the village idiot. At best, expect a 7 foot awkward, gangly creature that the government banishes to the sewers.

Victoria’s Secret model Adriana Lima has long professed that she is a virgin and will be until she is married. It took a while for her NBA boyfriend Marko Jaric to figure it out, but he finally married her on Valentine’s Day in a small ceremony attended by close friends and family. Lima wrote on her MySpace:

An IMPORTANT blog, MARRIAGE :)

Hello!

By this point, some people know about my big news! Yes, I like to keep my life personal but I did become married on Valentine Day to the love of my life. I am SO happy inside and I want to spread my love!
The marriage was very small and not most friends and family could attend because it was a quick decision. Luckily, we will be having another wedding this summer that will be a bigger event!
We have not decided where it will be because my family is in Brasil and Marko is from Serbia. It will be great no matter where!
And finally, there are rumors of me pregnant. I just cannot say.. YET! .

beijos!!!
adri

If the rumors of a pregnancy are true, that either means it only took her one week to get pregnant or she had sex before Valentine’s Day thereby violating her sacred vows. That or Marko tricked Adriana into thinking “sex” meant something completely different. Like, one day he pointed to a donut and said, “This is sex.” Which could explain why they never eat donuts anymore.

Marko Jaric, 29, has proposed to Adriana Lima, 27, after 9 months of dating. The Minnesota Timberwolves star’s rep tells PEOPLE:

“He asked and she said yes. They are both incredibly happy and couldn’t be more in love.”

Thank God. If Adriana asked me one more time to have my babies, I would have lost it.

Marko Jaric of the Minnesota Timberwolves has been dating Victoria’s Secret model Adriana Lima for the past six months and may be thinking about marriage. Marko says rumors of him shopping for a wedding ring have been greatly exaggerated, not that he isn’t seriously considering it.

“I am not shopping right now,” Jaric, 29, tells PEOPLE. “But I could start tomorrow. I am that close. I’m definitely not yet engaged, but it doesn’t mean we’re not thinking about it.”

“I was not the person to fall in love easily. I am a difficult person from that standpoint,” he says. “Now, it’s a little different situation.”

Adriana has long professed her virginity and maintains that she won’t lose it until after she’s married. Which makes this as good a reason as any for Marko to wed. Sounds easy actually. Other models want it all before they’ll willingly sleep with you. Romantic dinners, trips to Paris and drinks not mixed with GHB. Very high maintenance. If all it took to bang a supermodel was a ring and ceremony, I’d have had sex with twice as many models as I’ve already had. What’s two times zero? Carry the one… is it five? It’s five isn’t it? Oh my god, I’m awesome.