Matthew Broderick may have had enough of Sarah Jessica Parker or vice versa. Nine MSN says they’re living apart despite only recently bringing home newborn twins. Sarah Parker is rumored to be moving out of their New York home and into a nine-bedroom home she bought in Brooklyn.

“It would be a surprising decision to make so soon after the arrival of their twins,” a source was quoted as saying by Hollyscoop.

“Having the babies born healthy and happy was a dream come true, so it’s strange that they might have to spend some time apart at this stage.

“No one can quite believe it, but it’s clear they’re making the right decision for all the right reasons.”

Thus ends this saga of equine love. That guy who wanted to marry his dog had high hopes for these two. This has set inter-species relationships back a few years.

Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick released a family portrait of them with their son James Wilke and new twins Marion Loretta Elwell and Tabitha Hodge. They’re all staring at the one on the left for some reason. Maybe it threw up on itself. That stuff is cute when you’re a baby, but in adulthood, it’s just sad and pathetic. What’s up with that double standard?

Also, why do their kids’ names sound serial killers or murderers. For some reason, Tabitha Hodge sounds like Lizzy Borden, James Wilke is like James Wilkes Booth and Marion Loretta Elwell sounds like a shut-in who thinks god speaks to her through her cats and tells her to burn things.

WTRF has a classy webpage with scrolling marquees for headlines. For a second, I felt like I was back browsing Geocities pages.

Anyway, WTRF reports that Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick’s surrogate gave birth to twin girls on Monday night. Parker and Broderick are expected to make an announcement before leaving the hospital.

No word on if there were complications during the birth or whether the babies came out as humans or foals. Expect to find out soon. Although, don’t expect to hear any wacky names. Parker and Broderick are boring. They’ll probably name them Jill and Sally. Why can’t celebrities ever pick cool names. If it were me, I’d call them a roman numeral like XXCVC or an unpronounceable word with no vowels like XyyXyWF. I’d like to confuse the hell out of their teachers.

For years, Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick have wanted to add to their family since the miraculous birth of their son James, but science has been unable to recreate the exact circumstances that allowed a human to crossbreed with a horse. Well, these two have finally grown tired of waiting for both science to find a solution and Matthew to get over his fear of vagina. They’ve implanted their ovaries and sperm into a surrogate mother and are expecting twins. EW says:

They had a lot of unsuccessful tries,” says the friend. “They came to the conclusion that this was going to be the best alternative for expanding their family.” The couple turned to a surrogate — whose name and place of residence have not been disclosed — last year. “They’re over the moon and excited as any prospective parents would be,” says the friend. “Their life is about to get a lot busier.”

Is this safe for the surrogate mother? I’ve seen videos of horses giving birth and it doesn’t look easy. One time I saw that they had to yank out the foal by its legs. I hope she’s mentally prepared to see eight hooves come out of her uterus.

They tried to make it work for the sake of their 6-year-old son, James Wilkie, but Sarah Jessica Parker has finally had enough of Matthew Broderick cheating with 25-year-old redheads passed out on their beds. This little horsey is moving out. According to Star Magazine, the Sex and the City star has been looking for her own house in NYC and once that’s done, she’ll ask for a divorce. A friend tells the magazine: “The time has come when she realizes it just isn’t worth it. Sarah Jessica is determined to get her own place and bring down the curtain on her marriage.” Another source adds: “They spent the holidays with him [James], pretending to be happy. SJP is a great actress when she has to be!”

Even though Star doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to rumors, this is something I can believe. SJP is so old and witch-like that every Halloween, instead of watching Friday the 13th, I put in Sex in the City on Blu-Ray. Try it. I guarantee that if you didn’t have a erection before, you’re not gonna have one for the next two weeks.

Shocking, well, mildly shocking news surfaced today. While Sarah Jessica Parker was filming Sex and the City, her husband, Matthew Broderick, was boning a 25-year-old red headed youth counselor he met at a bar.

Sources say the woman felt conflicted with her relationship with Matthew, whom she nicknamed “Matty Cakes.” She tried to end it, say insiders, but that didn’t happen and over the next month — when Sarah Jessica was filming Sex and the City: The Movie in Los Angeles — multiple eyewitnesses say they saw Matthew make late-night visits to the other woman’s apartment building.

During one tryst, they arrived at her friend’s apartment after a night of heavy drinking, says a source. She dragged Matthew into the friend’s bedroom, then shut the door. “A half hour later, Matthew opened the bedroom door, mumbled ‘Well… ‘bye!’ and walked out. The friend found her passed out on the bed in her panties.”

This is the least surprising story ever. I expected something like this to surface sooner. There’s no way an average looking guy like Matt can stay faithful to a horse/witch thing like Sarah Jessica Parker forever. If Matthew looked like the elephant man, then maybe I could see him being faithful. But that’s in addition to being bald, having a lazy eye and suffering from halitosis.

[Sarah Jessica Parker sans mole at the All-Star 2008 Game at Yankee Stadium in the Bronx. I guess I can't call her a witch anymore. Image via Splash News]

Once in a while, you find those stories that make you giggle. Hey, I said make YOU giggle, not me. A man with a set of abs this awesome does not giggle. The news is Matthew Broderick fell off his horse and broke his collarbone while he was on vacation in Ireland with his wife Sarah Jessica Parker. He was treated and released from the hospital on the same day.

Any comment I make from this point on will already be running through your head. So let me just say this. Sarah can never be tamed. You can only hope to feed her enough carrots and barley so she won’t run away. There there Sarah, it’s only thunder. It can’t hurt you.