This one is sort of old news but whatever. Back in June, Michael Bay told GQ that Steven Spielberg told him to fire Megan Fox after she compared his directorial style to Hitler.

Turns out that was a lie. In an Entertainment Weekly article when asked about the claim, Spielberg said, “That’s not true. That didn’t happen.”

So there you have it. Michael Bay dropped Megan Fox from the third Transformers film because she hurt his feelings and he’s very petty. Looks like he did her a favor because the entire franchise is terrible. The only way I could sit through that is if I went into the wrong theater.

Last Friday, Megan Fox made a rare-ish appearance in public. She stopped by the Veteran’s Home of California in LA to support, um, veterans. The point is, she still looks pretty great. And she wore these skin tight jeans. How did she even get into those things? It’s like they had to sew it on her body.

For the past year and a half up to four months ago, Megan Fox was on a strict vegan diet based on raw fruits and vegetables. She couldn’t have bread, sugar or coffee. However, she ditched that diet after losing too much weight. Wait, what? I just heard a million fatties stab the eyes out of a Megan Fox poster.

“For a year and a half, until about four months ago, I followed a strict vegan diet based on raw fruits and vegetables, no bread, sugar and coffee. But I had lost too much weight.”

“So now I eat a bit of everything. I train three times a week doing circuit training with my trainer Harley Pasternak.” — StarPulse

Fox now eats “everything”. Wink wink, nudge nudge, *pushes tongue against cheek and mimics brushing teeth*

Here’s Megan Fox in Elle China. A few of these photos might be recycled from another shoot. Not that it matters. It’s like a good pastrami sandwich. You don’t stop ordering it just because you had it once.

Regrets. Everyone has them. Including Megan Fox. Her biggest one is ignoring my emails, her second biggest seems to be her tattoos. Especially the gaudy, misplaced Marilyn Monroe one on her arm that she’s in the process of lasering off. Asked why she’s getting rid of it, she tells Amica that Marilyn was a negative character and she doesn’t want that bad mojo around her. Via ONTD:

Amica: What’s going on with your Marilyn tattoo?
Megan: I’m removing it. It is a negative character. She suffered from personality disorders and was bipolar. I don’t want to attract this kind of negative energy in my life. And who knows? I’m thinking of removing some other tattoos, but the pain in the sessions of laser removal is terrible.

Amica: And your piercing? During the shoot, we noticed that you have a small sign above the hole pierced navel. Do you regret it?
Megan: Oh, this? I did it when I was 16 because I was a fan of Britney Spears and she had a really cool navel piercing. It was the only time I tried to imitate someone. But then I started to find my piercing really tacky, so I removed it when I turned 20 years old.

You’d think before tattooing someone’s face on your arm, it’d make sense to learn more about what kind of person they were. It’d also make sense to listen to all your friends who tell you not to do it because it’s stupid.

Megan Fox posted a picture of her taking a dip in the pool with This is 40 co-stars Jason Segel and Chris O’Dowd. How sexually frustrating is this? If this were me, I wouldn’t be able to get out of the pool for 30 minutes without having to hunch over and crab-walking to the bathroom.

Speaking of This is 40, Leslie Mann, one of the stars, praised Megan for being hilarious.

“Megan Fox is so funny. She’s hilarious. You wouldn’t, I don’t know if other people [expect it], but I think she’s really funny, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.” — MTV

I think that quote should be on the poster for the movie. Right under a blown up photo of Megan Fox bending over. “Pleasantly surprised? Why, that’s good enough of an endorsement for me,” my penis would tell me brain.

Elle is a woman’s magazine, right? Because it feels like they cater towards men. Especially when they tell Megan Fox to put on some sexy underwear and bend over while they take pictures.

That is to say, they’re way better than GQ. GQ would have dressed Megan Fox in a business suit and told her she looked handsome.

According to a report from OK! Magazine, Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are fighting to save their marriage. Even though they were on a break, this was bound to happen when the world including BAG found out Megan slept with that dork Shia LaBeouf.

Though now, OK! Magazine reports that Megan and Brian are desperately trying to save their marriage. “He has really upset Megan and Brian,” a close source explains. “They went through an incredibly rocky period when she and Shia were filming Transofmers: Revenge of the Fallen…having Shia run his mouth now and brag about sleeping with Megan is awful for them.”

Though was it really cheating? “…technically [Megan] didn’t do anything wrong since they were on break. [Still], they are so angry at Shia.” We hope this love triangle dies out very soon! [Hollywood Life]

Whatever. I’d have bragged too. Megan Fox is hot and it’d really help dispel those viscous rumors that I sleep with dolls. First of all, I don’t. Second of all, they’re called action figures.

Though I’ve not heard one ounce of speculation, apparently there’s been a roaring debate over whether or not Megan Fox uses botox. Between who, I’m not sure, but whoever these imaginary people are, won’t they be embarrassed because Megan Fox posted a series of photos on Facebook of herself making faces. Faces, she claims, can’t be made when you have botox. It’s actually under an album titled, “Things You Can’t Do With Your Face When You Have Botox.”

If head on is how Megan Fox tackles accusations, then… her tits are fake, her ass is fake and I heard her vagina was reshaped with silicone and given a youthful appearance with restalyne. All lies? Well, prove it, little missy.

Here’s Megan Fox looking absolutely stunning in a few new Giorgio Armani ads. These being photoshopped only made them better. Making Megan Fox the face of Armani was the greatest business decision anyone has ever made. Raises and bjs to everyone that made this happen.

A source confirms to Us that Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox did indeed hookup but added that “it was when Megan and Brian broke up. They had a 10-month break before getting back together.”

The source goes on to explain that Shia and Megan bonded over filming and Michael Bay’s temper. “Believe me, that was an unhappy set. I think they were drawn together because it was so ugly working on that film.”

Makes sense. A lot of literature suggests people usually bond over stress. That’s why I make sure at the end of dates to blindfold the girl, throw her in an unmarked van and drive off really fast.

In a new interview with Details, Shia LaBeouf was asked if he and Megan Fox ever slept together while filming Transformers. He nodded his head and the interviewer most likely gave him a high five.

Asked if he hooked up with Fox, LaBeouf nods affirmatively. “Look, you’re on the set for six months, with someone who’s rooting to be attracted to you, and you’re rooting to be attracted to them,” he explains. “I never understood the separation of work and life in that situation. But the time I spent with Megan was our own thing, and I think you can see the chemistry onscreen.” When I inquire about Fox’s status at the time with her longtime boyfriend, Brian Austin Green, LaBeouf replies, “I don’t know, man. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. . . .”—repeating the phrase exactly 12 times with various intonations, as if trying to get it just right. Finally, he says, “It was what it was.” [Details]

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green seemed to hit a rough patch two years ago when the second Transformers came out so he might be telling the truth. But I have a few followup questions to see if he’s lying. First, what was having sex with Megan Fox like? Second, does her vagina really smell like roses? Third, do you have any of her panties I can smell? Don’t ask why these questions are relevant. Just answer them, man! Do you want people to believe you or not?!

Followup to the followup questions. Did you bang Rosie Huntington-Whiteley too? If so, does your girlfriend Karolyn Pho know? Also, I hate you.

This is a little old but hat tip to Celebslam who unearthed it. Seriously, is nothing interesting going on today besides The Rock being awesome at Splash Mountain?

Anyway, Megan Fox recently went on a vacation to Hawaii with her husband Brian Austin Green where they renewed their vows. But that’s not all they did. They also planned on swimming with sharks. That is if Brian Austin Green would stop crying like a baby.

“My husband is terrified of sharks but we’re going to do it anyway,” Fox told me. “Sharks don’t usually go where there are tons of dolphins so we can do it. I didn’t used to be [scared of sharks], but I am now because of him. His fear is so intense, it’s smothered me and now I’m afraid.” [E!]

You hear that? BAG’s fear is so infectious that everyone around him catches it. And if you think it’s just sharks he cries over, think again. He basically bawls over everything. Because he’s a big pussy.

“He’s very sensitive and very emotional. He’s a Cancer so he’s very all about feelings and relationships and he cries about everything. He’ll want to do it so I’ll do it for him.”

How did this guy land Megan Fox? According to my “friend”, chicks don’t actually dig guys who cry a lot. I mean, they always say they want a sensitive guy, but when it comes down to it and you cry in front of them because your friends are playing keep-a-way with your messenger bag they’re all like, “haha, shut up, fag.”