Melissa Ethreidge’s ex, Tammy Michaels, used their 3-year-old twins as pawns in order to serve her divorce papers according to a declaration released Thursday.

“In a ploy to have me served, and mistakenly believing that by serving me I would have to dismiss my Petition, [Tammy Lynn Michaels] used our children as pawns,” Etheridge states in a declaration released Thursday in which she describes how she was presented with her ex’s petition for sole custody of their 3-year-old twins.

The Grammy and Oscar winner says Michaels told her the kids were going to meet Etheridge at her hotel. “Finally, I received a text message…stating, ‘My plans changed, sorry,’” the singer recounts.

Tammy now wants around $12,000 a month in spousal support and child support saying she gave up her “lucrative” acting career to become a stay-at-home mom. She lists her monthly expenses at $6,000 for rent, $1,500 for groceries, $800 for eating out, $50 for laundry and cleaning and $5,000 a month in clothes. Michaels claims Etheridge makes between $600,000 and $750,000 a month which is more than enough to pay her with.

If I was the judge, I’d give Tammy only enough money for the kids and tell her to go find a damn job. Boo hoo, you can no longer live your $20,000 a month lifestyle. Here’s the world’s smallest violin playing for you. The judge should tell Tammy to get her ass to Ross Dress For Less and apply for a Vons club card. Every expense she gives is ridiculous. And it’s not like it’s for the kids. You could give them an oversized box and they’d be happy.

The passing of Prop 8 has riled a lot of people up. Especially gays who wanted to marry. So it’s no surprise that there is some backlash. Backlash in the form of an angry Melissa Etheridge who suggests now that she’s a “second class citizen” she doesn’t have to pay taxes. Melissa wrote on The Daily Beast:

Okay. So Prop 8 passed. Alright, I get it. 51% of you think that I am a second class citizen. Alright then. So my wife, uh I mean, roommate? Girlfriend? Special lady friend? You are gonna have to help me here because I am not sure what to call her now. Anyways, she and I are not allowed the same right under the state constitution as any other citizen. Okay, so I am taking that to mean I do not have to pay my state taxes because I am not a full citizen. I mean that would just be wrong, to make someone pay taxes and not give them the same rights, sounds sort of like that taxation without representation thing from the history books.

Okay, cool I don’t mean to get too personal here but there is a lot I can do with the extra half a million dollars that I will be keeping instead of handing it over to the state of California. Oh, and I am sure Ellen will be a little excited to keep her bazillion bucks that she pays in taxes too. Wow, come to think of it, there are quite a few of us fortunate gay folks that will be having some extra cash this year. What recession? We’re gay! I am sure there will be a little box on the tax forms now single, married, divorced, gay, check here if you are gay, yeah, that’s not so bad. Of course all of the waiters and hairdressers and UPS workers and gym teachers and such, they won’t have to pay their taxes either.

If years of stereotyping have taught me anything, it’s that gay people suck at physical altercations. Fighting for them amounts to sissy flailing. Verbal altercations, on the other hand, they’re pretty good at. Just wait until the letter writing campaign comes into full swing. The people responsible for this proposition will beg for mercy after they begin to wither from the literary poison. Expect a lot of name calling as well, like, bitch or whore or the dreaded bitch whore.

[Image via Splash News]