Melissa Theuriau is probably the only reporter you could pop a boner to while a montage of amputated children, brutalized women and massacred husbands played in a little box next to her head. A lot of fans must go up to her and tell her that they loved her on so and so date only to be glared at and told, “You mean when I reported on the guy who locked his wife in the basement and repeatedly raped his kids?” “Wha? Oh, yea, yea,” they’d mutter as they began furiously masturbating.

More sexiness after the jump.

Melissa Theuriau is a hot French reporter constantly being masturbated to by the populace of France (proof up above). She’s also the reason I watched French news even though I don’t understand a word of their devil speak. Now that you know why she’s famous, here she is topless and pregnant at the beach with her husband. Leave it up to that caveman to ruin a perfectly good woman. People call him the Jordan Bratman of France. Just kidding. I made that up. You believed me didn’t you? Admit it. You so totally believed me. Don’t lie.

Photos are NSFW. Click through at your own risk.