Madonna will do whatever it takes to get that baby she was denied adopting. She has told her architects to build a home in Malawi so “David Banda would benefit from a connection to his birthplace” and also to establish residency for 18 months so she can get that baby. Just like the prophecy foretold.

“Madonna has a big, beautiful plot of land over there already. She’s planning to build a girl’s school in the Chinkhota village and those designs are well under way.

“But she’s gone back to the designers and asked if they could accommodate a family home on the plot or on adjacent land.”

Madonna is determined, I’ll give her that. Most people would have quit and have gone to Asia to adopt their babies, but not Madonna. She wants Mercy. But why is she so infatuated with this child? We must ask ourselves this. Is it because Mercy’s bones are just the right density to grind into a fine powder potent enough to create an elixir which will grant Madonna 5 more years of youth? I think so, my friends. I think so.

Madonna is still in the process of adopting 4-year-old Chifundo “Mercy” James from Malawi. While Mercy’s grandmother likens the adoption to “stealing” a baby and organizations have called the Human Rights Consultative Comittee claiming Madonna is using her wealth and celebrity to skirt the law, Mercy’s uncle has already signed off on it.

Madonna’s lawyer, Alan Chinula, says, “I am not sleeping sleepless nights over this.” Huh? Uh, that’s good to know, sir. I too am not sleeping sleepless nights because, for one, that wouldn’t make sense.

Touching upon the “archaic” laws in Malawi, Alan explains: “Laws must be dynamic. They must move with current trends.” In other words, changing the law for celebrities at their whimsy. Sort of like what LA does.

Regardless of all the controversy, they should just give Mercy to Madonna. Anything is better than being chased by a lion through your village. Even if the alternative is being bathed by the Material Girl. Eventually, Mercy will get used to the sandpapery palms and leathery skin. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for the nightmares.