Michelle Hunziker was at the beach again over the weekend. You’d think she’d get tired of this. It’s like she’s been there every day for the past two weeks? Don’t get me wrong, staring at her in a bikini every day isn’t bad, but doesn’t this get old. I know I once stayed on the strip in Vegas for four days and wanted to kill myself, but it doesn’t seem like Michelle feels this way. Not only that, this really puts a damper on my plan to lie naked in her bed and surprise her when she gets home. It’s been about a week and I’m getting a little restless.

[Fame]

Nike just released a new black and white commercial featuring Tiger Woods being scolded by his dad Earl Woods (who’s dead by the way). Thankfully, no one mentioned anything about Michelle Hunziker (blonde, nice breasts) still hanging out at Miami Beach in a bikini. Tiger would have been all over that in a heartbeat.

[Fame]

Michelle Hunziker went to Miami beach over the weekend to flaunt her tight little body and cute breasts and make every girl there feel insecure. What a bitch.

Hey look, it’s Michelle Hunziker and she’s playing volleyball. Isn’t that exciting? What do you mean you don’t know who she is? She’s that girl who does that thing in that non-American place. You know what I’m talking about. Don’t be so ignorant, man.

Wikipedia says Michelle Hunziker is a Swiss model, actress and singer. She is doing none of those things here. Here, Michelle is just doing her best impersonation of Pamela Anderson during her Baywatch days. Blonde? Check. Red bikini? Check. Unfortunate arm tattoo? Check. Prolonged exposure to the sun causing premature aging of the skin? Double check, baby.