Mickey Rourke may look like a comic book villain after leaving Hollywood for a boxing career years back and a wry smile from him may cause small children to cry, but looks can be deceiving because he has a huge heart and a soft spot for tiny, puntable dogs and now big stray ones.

While filming Dead in Tombstone in Romania, Mickey announced at a press conference that he’s adopted a stray dog he found on set which he named Roxy. Aww, that’s sweet. Until he realizes she’s not housebroken and comes to a home smeared with poop. Then it’s all, “What have you done? What have you done!”

Mickey Rourke did an interview with Modern Man and it was anything but typical. Key takeaways include Rourke calling most actresses c*nts with a capital K, grateful for getting paid a lot of money for a few days of work, not minding because he got to work with the hot blond chick who called herself Isabel Lucas and he even touched on mythology porn. Sort of.

You visited a Russian prison to prepare for your role in Iron Man 2. How did you prepare to play an ancient Greek Titan king for Immortals?
I showed up. The director spent three years working on the overall look of the film and that really helped. They paid me a lot of money for a few days of work so I was happy to go. It’s just a shame I didn’t get to work with the hot blond chick, Isabel Lucas. [below] I also loved Frieda Pinto, but she has a boyfriend. She’s a really nice person and I have great respect for her as an actress — and I think most actresses are c*nts with a capital K.

So … you had fun on the film?
I am just grateful for any role I have — every day I say, “God, let me not be late for work, so I’m not out of work another 13 years.” When you are out of work that long, your whole life changes; it’s a humiliating, shameful experience. I don’t know if you ever get over it. Hopefully, I can keep my mouth shut because I don’t want to go back to that lonely, dark place. This f*cking town is built on envy. They can’t wait to [he raises his middle finger] to your ass.

Is there a story in Greek mythology that you especially like?
Did you ever see Johnny F*ckHerFaster? It’s a mythology porno about a king named King Cock. I’m kidding. My grandmother used to read me a lot of that stuff to put me to sleep. I have always had insomnia and I loved all the different stories she read.

What was your fitness regimen for the film?
I work out with this Israeli guy, Daniel Druker, who travels with me. We practically live together. He comes up with all these vitamin concoctions that seem to work, and he makes me do thousands of sit-ups. But it was nice to see my co-star Henry Cavill doing pushups on set. He couldn’t wait to go to work, and I couldn’t wait to get off work. In 15 years, he’s going to know how I feel.

Do you keep up with the training after filming wrapped?
The regime I am on now is grueling. I just took a year off to write a screenplay about Gareth Thomas, a gay rugby player; I went over to Wales to beg him to let me do it. The writer I hired wrote sh!t so I rewrote it and now it’s great. We shoot in March, and I think it will be the best movie I’ve ever made. We have been training now for the past five or six months and it’s been physically challenging.

There’s a rumor that you’re going to play Lemmy in a Werner Herzog movie. That sounds mind blowing. Is it true?
I don’t know anything about it. I don’t even know who Lemmy is. [:-( —Ed.] Modern Man

If we could bottle everything Mickey Rourke says simply by distilling the essence, we’d be rich. He seems really down to earth too. It’s how imagine I’d be if I ever became an actor. Just grateful to be paid to hang out on set for a few days with a hot blond chick and to not have someone waiting around to stick their finger up my ass.

Mickey Rourke told NY Mag yesterday that the movie he did with 50 Cent and Passion Play were both terrible movies and insinuated Megan Fox wasn’t a good actress. Now he’s backtracking. After realizing he angered the studio gods, Rourke sent an email to Vulture correcting his statements.

“Hey, guys. When I talked to you, I was at a party. It was loud and crowded, I was in a shitty mood and I was trying to get rid of your reporter. Mitch is one of my best friends since we were kids. I loved working with him and would do it again tomorrow. I don’t know why I said that stupid shit. I love Mitch, I love Megan. My bad.”

He wanted to get rid of a reporter so he told them all but one of the movies he’s filmed sucked and so did Megan Fox. That makes complete sense. I wonder why the reporter didn’t go away after that. What he said seemed totally uninteresting and obviously made the interview really dull.

Now, for your pleasure, Mickey Rourke in spandex.

Back in March, Mickey Rourke called Megan Fox, his co-star in Passion Play, “the best young actress I ever worked with.” Everyone assumed he meant Megan was a good actress but haha, no. At an after-party for Scream 4, NY Mag caught up with Rourke where he clarified that Megan Fox statement. He also spoke honestly about all the terrible movies he’s been in. Which seems like a lot.

Let’s start with horror movies: You a fan?
Depends.

On what?
If there’s nothing else to watch. I came here to see Harvey. I don’t know nothing about the movie.

What about 50 Cent? He’s hosting.
I haven’t seen him.

You guys are in a movie together, right?
A really bad movie, yeah.

What?! Is it out?
No, it’s so bad it can’t get out.

Tell me why you made it.
For the money.

But you think the movie’s bad.
Terrible.

Why?
You have to watch it.

What about your movie with Megan Fox and Bill Murray?
Terrible. Another terrible movie. But, you know, in your career and all the movies you make, you’re going to make dozens of terrible ones.

You called Megan Fox, like, one of the best actresses of all time.
That I worked with [smirk].

That movie’s getting limited release.
That’s because it’s not very good.

I know a good movie we can talk about: your rugby movie.
That’ll be a great movie. We start shooting February.

Mickey can sort of get away with this because he’s Oscar nominated and people already know he doesn’t give a sh*t. He left Hollywood to get his face mangled by boxers and now walks around dressed like an eccentric homeless guy while clutching small, furry animals. In this case a kitten. Honestly, you have to have balls of steel to say something about it to his face.

Update: According to Image Entertainment, Passion Play will be getting a theatrical release starting in New York and Los Angeles.

Megan Fox’s Passion Play, which released promo stills not too long ago, is going straight to DVD. The movie bombed at a screening at the Toronto Film Festival in September garnering horrible reviews. Some viewers even openly mocked the movie as it played before they walked out. Not surprisingly, no one picked it up for distribution. Rourke says it’s not Megan’s fault though. She’s actually pretty good.

“I think the pleasant surprise was this girl who’s a world-class beauty turned out to be probably the best young actress I’ve ever worked with,” Rourke said. “I don’t know if a lot of her films have showcased her acting ability more than, say, being action-oriented, but she really stepped up the plate with this one and was very consistent and professional, beyond her years. At 23, I couldn’t do half of what she’s doing.”

Translation: I want to hit that so I can’t piss her off.

Mickey Rourke has signed on to play Gareth Thomas, Britain’s first openly gay rugby star. He’s already practicing his Welsh accent and now plans to remove his two capped front teeth for authenticity and for Oscar bait. Says Mickey’s agent, “Mickey intends to get as close to the character as he can. He is going to get rid of his two front teeth – he will be taking them out.” Gareth lost his front teeth from an onfield tackle.

The Academy eats this stuff up. Mickey is basically dangling a carrot in front of their faces. “He removed his two front teeth? How far will this man go? Genius!” The people at the Academy are like the kids whose moms never let them play outside with the other kids so everything out of the ordinary is like seeing snow for the first time for them.

Big news. Mickey Rourke cut his hair. Now he no longer looks like Bret Michaels after a car accident. He looks almost normal now. Here he is with his girlfriend Anastassija Makarenko (no way I’m putting that as a tag) in the West Village. These pictures also confirm my theory. The more letters a girl has in her name, the more likely she is to be hot. Which is why I’m still searching for my own Anastassija Makarenko.

[Bauer]

Megan Fox loves Mickey Rourke so much that she got a tattoo in honor of him. She thinks they’re kindred spirits who “march to the beat of their own drum.”

“Mickey is such a beautiful, wonderful human being,” Fox told MTV News. “He’s so genuine and so sweet and so talented. I just love him to death. I kept telling him that he needs to have kids, because I think he’s going to be an amazing dad. I hope he does that soon.”

“I actually got a tattoo that is sort of in honor of him,” she revealed. “It’s on my ribs. I don’t know if it’s been photographed yet, but it’ll come out eventually, I’m sure. I just love him very much and think he’s very special.”

The tattoo is a Nietzsche quote that reads “Those who danced were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.” Between that and the one on her back about gilded butterflies and the one on the other side of her ribs about little girls with broken hearts she looks like a manuscript. You might as well be having sex with a damn book.

Mickey Rourke has been dating a 24-year-old Russian model/artist Anastasia Makarenko for 10 months but admits that it’s not easy to keep from cheating on her despite being completely infatuated with her.

“I haven’t f**ked around on her, I haven’t been that way in 23 years so this is new for me and it’s not easy,” Mickey explained. “Sure, I could do something on the side but I’ve got to live with myself. That’s something new for me – being honest in a relationship.”

Mickey was rumoured to have proposed to Anastasia earlier in the year, but he has denied popping the question. He says engagement rumours are “embarrassing” for his young lover because she is such a private person.

“I haven’t asked her to marry me,” he said. “I haven’t thought about it. There was stuff in the paper about me being engaged but that’s just embarrassing for Anna because she is very low-key.

“People that you think are friends can be very cruel, and I don’t have the best reputation in the world so it’s easy for people to say sh*t.”

While marriage is still a long way off, Mickey revealed he would consider having children with Anastasia. He has always vowed not to start a family because he had such a bad childhood, but says things are “different” now.

“I’ve never thought about it. I had a really horrific childhood so I’d never do to a child what happened to me,” he explained to the British edition of OK! magazine. “I would never let another man raise my kid.

“I’d end up killing a guy if he laid a hand on my kids because I don’t believe in continuing what happened to me. The kid thing has never come into my thoughts because of that fear, but things are different now.”

Mickey looks like a beat up monster, dresses like he won a shopping spree at Goodwill and carries around a dog like he’s Paris Hilton so it’s impressive how he pulls so much tail. If he weren’t famous, he’d probably be pepper sprayed at “hello.”

I’d like to apologize to Mickey Rourke for breaking his arm in that arm wrestling match. I… I didn’t know my own strength. But I did warn him. You can’t holster these guns! Pew! Pew! Pew! Wait, those are lasers. Boom! Boom! Boom! Yea. That’s better.

Mickey Rourke was asked by The Sun what he thought about Ashley Cole’s whoring around and, if you know Mickey Rourke, he was more than happy to answer. Actually, brag.

“Forget Ashley Cole, his behaviour has nothing on a film star. WAGs get an easy time – they should try living with Hollywood hellraisers.

“I once spent a weekend in the UK and had 14 women in one night.”

“If you WAGs knew what Hollywood’s stars get up to you’d think you were married to pussycats.”

That’s cool and all, but Rourke sounds like an old man recounting tales of his youth. I’m surprised he didn’t have to trudge through seven feet of snow to bed these women or that he didn’t go off on a tangent about his dog or an onion tied to his belt. 14 isn’t so impressive anyway. I once had 20 women in one night and it was awesome because when you get that many, the hookers give you a discount.

Mickey Rourke will try to fill the void that his dead dog and the Academy Awards left him with by buying a new Chihuahua and naming it Oscar.

“Mickey has other dogs but he misses Loki terribly. He doesn’t want to wait long either – he wants to get his new pooch this week.”

“The new dog won’t replace Loki but by naming it Oscar Mickey says he’ll make his comeback year even more special,” added the friend.

Mickey and I are a lot alike. He’s flamboyantly dressed and insane, I have coupons for a free Dr. Pepper. On second thought, maybe we aren’t alike at all.

Up top is Mickey’s rambling acceptance speech at The Spirit Awards. He makes a few good points in there. That’s what I would say if I understood what he was talking about.

Mickey Rourke gets it to-go

Mickey Rourke admits that he regrets the doctor he chose to fix his face after his abysmal career in pro boxing. Rourke says most of the stuff the plastic surgeon worked on were from injuries suffered inside the ring.

Rourke had his nose broken twice resulting in five operations on it and another for a smashed cheekbone. While grueling and painful, he says they were nothing compared to hemorrhoids. The ones on his ass, not his face.

“I had to have cartilage taken from my ear to rebuild my nose and a couple of operations to scrape out the cartilage because the scar tissue wasn’t healing properly. That was one of the most painful operations, but the worst was hemorrhoids.”

Yea, really. This is gross. I get chills just hearing about Rourke making out with people. Hearing about his hemorrhoid problem is going to make me vomit. Some poor, innocent girl is going to see that one day and wonder why there’s a volcano attached to his ass. It’d probably take two days just to hike up that thing.