Miley Cyrus was a guest on Amanda de Cadenet’s Lifetime talk show Monday night where she talked candidly about sex and that outfit she wore to the Billboard Music Awards.

Miley said about her new adult image, “If people find you sexy, take it as a compliment. It’s just who I am. Thank you for thinking I’m sexy.” Whoa, whoa. Let’s not get carried away. No one called you sexy, they just said you’re dressing more provocatively.

She then moved on to the subject of sex or, as I like to say, doing it. “I was talking about this at dinner last night,” she says, “The girls that really base how much they’re worth on the sexual favors they can do for somebody – that makes me really sad. Because sex is actually really beautiful. It’s the only way we create, and it’s the only way the world keeps going.”

Yes, yes. Tell me more about these girls that base their worth on the sexual favors they can do. Where can I find them? Do you have an address or anything? Oh and one more thing, sex isn’t the only way we create anymore. We can make babies in test tubes now.

Miley then explained that parents should be more honest with their kids about sex by telling them how “magical” and “cool” it is. ”Kids have a TV, so they know what sex is,” she says. “So educate them and let them know… it’s a beautiful thing, and it is magic, and it’s when you connect with somebody.”

Yea, that’s the way to go. “Hey, Johnny, come stick your penis in me. My mom told me this is going to be sooo cool.” 9 months later: “Dear god, why is a tiny human tearing through my vagina!”

Miley Cyrus’ LOL was supposed to break her out of the teen market and catapult her into more adult roles but that didn’t work out so well considering it only showed in 7 cities on the same weekend that Avengers opened, a film that has gone on to break almost every record imaginable.

So Miley did the next best thing. Miley got her hair did, put on her fanciest suit, made sure to wear nothing underneath and showed up at the 2012 Billboard Music Awards. The message was clear. Miley is a powerful, confident woman but at the same time, she can be real slutty if you want. She’s very versatile.

While we’re on the subject of Miley Cyrus, here she is on the balcony of her hotel in Miami before she headed out. She was seen making out with her newly adopted dog and then hawking a loogie over the balcony. Either one of her fans pissed her off or her dog slipped her some tongue after she specifically told him not to. “Didn’t you read my contract, dog?!” Unbelievable.

Miley Cyrus drew a huge crowd in Miami today as she left her hotel. She’s looking even skinnier. Over the past few weeks, Miley has been slowly shrinking down to nothing. It looks like she gave the finger to her baby fat and fat in general. Some may start worrying she’s going a little overboard with this but I think it’s commendable in the way that she has follow through. Unlike some people who sit around and surround themselves with yes-men while pointing their Cheeto-stained fingers at the nearest doughnut box. Ahem, Christina Aguilera.

While Britney Spears and X Factor are hashing out details for her $15 million contract which has yet to close, producers are still searching for a fourth judge. Reports indicate Demi Lovato is the front-runner for the seat but hasn’t given an offer. However, also in the running, is Miley Cyrus who has been in talks with the show.

Avril Lavigne, LeAnn Rimes and Fergie are three others being considered for the position as well. Obviously Lovato and Cyrus are the two biggest names on that list and probably the top picks. Why? Avril Lavigne is hot but she’d get annoying in about five seconds, LeAnn Rimes is only good if you’re a Brandi Glanville fan and want to see if your voodoo doll actually works and Fergie will never be camera ready.

Mily Cyrus and Demi Moore’s film LOL, where Miley plays Lola who people call Lol for short (no, really), will not be getting the red carpet treatment from Lionsgate. LOL was supposed to be Miley’s big break into the adult world or at least the teen romcom world but Lionsgate couldn’t find a place for the film in their schedule.

But executives at the studio soon lost their enthusiasm for the picture, according to people with knowledge of the situation who were not authorized to speak publicly about it. With Lionsgate focused on several higher-profile projects, including last year’s flops “Abduction” and “Conan the Barbarian” and March’s mega-hit “The Hunger Games,” “LOL” never got a spot on the release calendar.

Lionsgate executives were not confident that they could successfully sell the picture, which centers on Cyrus’ character, named Lola, but features a series of interwoven tales involving teenagers. It lacks the obvious marketing hook of high-profile films like “Hunger Games” and the upcoming adaptation of the bestselling pregnancy book “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” LAT

Lionsgate told director Lisa Azuealos they couldn’t give it the attention it needed until after Hunger Games. Not only that, LOL would have gone direct to DVD if it wasn’t for Mandate’s contracts with foreign distributors which said it had to be shown domestically in at least 100 theaters.

That is to say, if you want to catch this film, just forget Avengers is releasing on the same day and be in one of the 7 cities its being shown in.

In a sign of how low a priority “LOL” is at Lionsgate, its marketing is being handled by the studio’s home entertainment division, not its theatrical marketing team, which typically oversees any release going to theaters.

A studio spokeswoman said that Cyrus was not available to discuss “LOL” due to her schedule. On her Twitter page, the actress has within the last weeks written about spending her time obsessively watching the television show “Prison Break,” eating walnuts, and walking her dog. This week, she also thanked her fans for promoting “LOL.”

So the film is so low priority that even the star is too busy to promote it save for a single tweet. This sounds great. Did Miley and Demi show up on the first day of filming with their hands stretched out signaling that they needed to be paid upfront. In cash.

Miley Cyrus was rushed to the emergency room Monday night after pilates because she cut herself. With a kitchen knife. On accident. While cooking dinner. Miley’s grandmother and boyfriend took her to the ER where she got stitches.

In a related story, when I cut my finger with a kitchen knife, I almost fainted. Not because of blood loss but because of how expensive a doctor’s visit would have been. So I decided to just superglue it together. Moral of the story is celebrities are babies who should learn how to use superglue.

Miley Cyrus left pilates wearing this short skull dress, jumper thing. According to sources, it gave Ed Hardy a raging hard-on.

Here’s Miley Cyrus leaving Pilates in West Hollywood on Wednesday. If you can get past her nasally hee-hawing and smoker’s voice and terrible acting, you’ll come to discover that Miley actually has a pretty great body proving that if you look hard enough, everyone has at least one redeeming quality. Mine is the ability to slay imaginary dragons. *Flexes*

To start this off on a positive note, Miley Cyrus tweeted a photo of herself in a bikini top. It was pretty exciting if you were a 10-year-old who’s yet to discover your mom’s Victoria’s Secret catalog.

Moving on, Miley recently suggested everyone go on a gluten free diet. Defending herself from people who called her anorexic, Miley wrote, “I have a gluten and lactose allergy. It’s not about weight it’s about health. Gluten is crapppp anyway!” She later tweeted, “everyone should try no gluten for a week! The change in your skin, physical and mental health is amazing! U won’t go back!” Her genetics, team of dermatologists and stylists obviously have nothing to do with it.

Meanwhile, experts say what Miley is blabbing on about is not exactly true. They argue that a gluten free diet is only strongly recommended for people diagnosed with celiac disease, a condition whose sufferers have an immune response to gluten in the small intestine. Other than that, a gluten free diet is no different than a regular diet save for the added cost and annoyingly showing your friends how easily you’re tricked into jumping onto the latest fad.

On Thursday, Miley Cyrus tweeted the above photo of her new obsession, “@jennahip nail foundations.” Ever since then, people have been running around flailing their arms over their heads wondering if that diamond ring means Miley is engaged. The answer? Uh, I don’t know. What do I look like, her boyfriend?

Interesting note: Twitter wouldn’t show me this photo by default because they said it contained sensitive material. How did they know? My sensibilities!

A small uproar happened when photos came out of Miley Cyrus parking in a handicap spot for her pilates class in West Hollywood. To be fair, parking is really hard to find in LA. Besides, it’s not like a handicapped person is going to be bending and stretching on a pilates machine when they’ve been doing that the whole day in their wheelchair anyway. At least that’s how I assume Miley Cyrus rationalized it.

Move over Jennifer Lawrence and your gold dress. You may be the star of The Hunger Games but Miley Cyrus was the star of the red carpet. She made sure of that with her pushed up tits last night at the premiere.

Just take a look at the girl with the pink iPhone and also the girl to her left behind Miley. You can tell they’re both shocked at the amount of breast Miley has to work with.