Remember Mischa Barton? She was almost an It girl during the first season of The OC. Now she just smokes a lot of weed and claims to be “grateful” to be unemployed. Coping mechanisms aside, she’s doing great. Here she is at the official launch party of BritWeek in LA on Tuesday. If you’re wondering what she’s shouting, it’s probably something like, “Hey, do you know where the gifting suite is?”

In related news, Mischa was spotted streaking down LA in leopard granny panties and matching bra. This was presumably for a Noel Gallagher music video. That or a girl managed to escape from my basement.

Here’s Mischa Barton lumbering around Miami in a bikini. She spent the afternoon on Monday just walking along the shore, jobless and in search of empty soda cans. “Soda cans? Soda cans?,” she asked. “I got a soda can for ya,” said an older orange gentleman as he pulled down his pants.

Alright, none of that happened but I suspect that’s what’s going to happen if she doesn’t get a callback soon.

When you turn down project after project after project, you need a break. Rejection is tiring! That’s why Mischa Barton hit up Miami Beach on Tuesday to lounge around. “Let my agent turn down projects for me today,” she said to herself as she bowed to imaginary applause.

If you’ve been wondering why you haven’t seen Mischa Barton in anything of note since she was kicked off The OC, then wonder no more. Mischa explains its because she turns down multiple projects. In fact, she turns down so many projects it would make your head spin.

“It’s strange. Everyone keeps asking me about what I’m working on right now. But it’s quite the opposite. It’s about what projects I’m turning down, which identifies me as the actor I want to be. I’m in this funny phase in my career, where it’s super important to not do a project unless I’m super passionate about it. Because what you choose to take is how people are going to view you. It is hard, though. The way you want to go isn’t necessarily the way you get to go as an actor. This industry is run by fear. When you go too long without working, you have people hassling you. The jobs I choose to do will form who I am.” Ladygunn

Her explanation must have been met with sarcasm and disbelief. Suuuure you’re turning down hundreds of projects, Mischa. That’s why you posed with raw meat in your mouth for Tyler Shields.

You know who probably does turn down multiple projects? Scarlett Johansson. You know who doesn’t pose and get smacked in the face with raw meat (outside of my bedroom, giggity) ? Scarlett Johansson.

This should be filed under “Haha, yea right.” Mischa Barton, former star of the OC and then the psyche ward after being 5150′d, says she has no plans to return to tv because she’s on a break looking after herself.

“TV is not something that I’m looking at right now for a second, just because I’m really at a restful place in my life. I’m really just taking my downtime. I’ve seen a lot of other girls who just kept going and kind of spazzed out and I’m just really grateful to be settled right now and not working and not doing anything but working on myself.

“I just feel really blessed with a convergence of really good things going on right now so I’m not in a rush to do a project. I think television is gruelling and this year there’s been such an uproar with, like, the Charlie Sheens of actors – well, I think he’s amazing .

“I just think it’s not the time for me to be on television. I’ll just a wait a second on it, but I do like TV. It’s a good forum.”

My eyes rolled so hard they almost detached from my head. This isn’t a voluntary sabbatical. This is no one wanting to hire Mischa. This is exactly what unemployed people tell their friends. They say they’re just “finding” themselves all while rifling through your fridge for leftover pizza. You can bet after this, Mischa asked the reporter for some spare change for a taxi because she forgot her purse at home.

Mischa Barton hit up a party in St. Tropez on July 8 and this is what came of it. She looks like a mess. $2 hookers would have gone up to her and told her to get help.

[Fame]

Here’s Mischa Barton hitting up Rite Aid in Beverly Hills after visiting the Hammer Art Museum with a friend proving once and for all that out of all the crackheads in LA, she’s prettiest.

Mischa Barton attended amfAR’s Cinema against AIDS 2010 benefit Gala last night and I don’t think it was very nice of Mischa to make herself look like an AIDS patient. It was less a show of solidarity than it was a mockery.

No, really though. All that makeup she has on makes her look like she just survived an overdose.

That greasy fatty Brandon Davis took to his Twitter to attention whore by calling Mischa Barton fat. After seeing her at the Nylon party on Wednesday, he wrote, “Omg. Just realized my ex turned in to 1 of the fattest people in the planet. I’m gonna start dating plus size models. Not! Mischa the Hefer.” Later, coroners removed Brandon’s body from his apartment after he was killed by the crushing irony.

A source added Mischa was upset after running into Brandon at the party and left around midnight. “She was chain-smoking the entire night. Mischa was never without a cigarette in her hand — and a puss on her face.”

Here’s Brandon Davis from four years ago at his best.

[Pacific Coast News]

Mischa Barton likes to get drunk on days ending in “y” so it’s no surprise that when she hit up Bar Marmont on Saturday, she looked “totally out of it.” Per Page Six,

“A few minutes after she comes in, she runs outside and vomits everywhere. And then she went back inside and hung out for the rest of the night.” A rep for Barton declined to comment.

What a pro. Most would have made the amateur mistake of vomiting inside the bar and been thrown out by the bouncers. Mischa had enough sense to go out and take care of business with no one the wiser. You kids have a lot to learn from Mischa Barton.

[Images: Pacific Coast News]

Mischa Barton needs more work so she can pay off her credit card bills. In line with a friend at Whole Foods Monday night, Mischa got the muchies and started snacking on pasta she was buying but when she got to the register, the cashier told her her credit card was declined. In fact, all her cards were declined. Radar says she fumbled through her purse in search of cash but had none. Her friend eventually paid for her and Mischa left embarrassed.

It must suck being Mischa Barton. A few years ago she was on a hit tv show. Then ratings started to drop. Then she was killed off. Then she starred in a bunch of movies no one watched. Now she can’t even charge pasta to her card. It seems like she has an easier time finding a cure for cancer than she does finding steady work. I’ve seen slower falls from suicide victims.

Mischa Barton, who just dyed her hair blonde, left the Byron and Tracey Salon yesterday looking like a flapper from the 1920′s. I can’t imagine why. I was digging the stringy, coked out look she had going on. That one screamed, “You can have me for a nickel bag of weed.” Now she looks a little more elegant. Instead of paying her with drugs, I’ll have to pay her agency. With real money.

[Beverly Hills, February 17. Images via Fame.]

Radar has footage of Mischa Barton driving around LA in her convertible yesterday and of when she ran over a curb and had to back out into the middle of the street. Then she pulls over and smokes a roach with whoever her passenger is. Her dealer?

This is more proof that Mischa Barton is a good role model. Drugs make girls more agreeable. That’s how you get anal. With lots and lots of drugs.