Monica Cruz and her mother celebrated Penelope Cruz’s nuptials by getting wasted. Monica was so trashed at the end of the night that she ended up barefoot on the sidewalk and doing the head-in-hands thing drunk people do. Someone should see she gets home safely. Maybe a gentleman in a fancy top hat.

[Bauer]

That Katie Price post was sad. I hope this will cheer you up though. It’s Penelope Cruz’s sister, Monica Cruz, vacationing in Ibiza with what I think is a human book. If this doesn’t lift your spirits, then I’ve also fashioned a gun that shoots rainbows. That’s right, fucking rainbows!

Monica Cruz attended the Mango Fashion show in Barcelona, Spain where she happily smiled for the camera and decided to not cross her legs. Many called this a historic moment in “staring at the panties of some actress I’ve maybe heard of.” This is a banner day my friends!

The Spanish Elle Magazine punches the American Elle Magazine right in its gay fairy face by having their July edition feature a bunch of naked Latin actresses you’ve never heard of. Blanca Romero, Patricia Conde, Elsa Pataky, Leonor Watling, Laura Sánchez, Mónica Cruz, Natalia Verbeke, Ariadne Artiles, Eugenia Silva, Bimba Bosé are all nude or nude-but-covered in the upcoming issue. Not only that, but you’ll also be excited to know about “la monda tiene conciencia shopping sostenible (&chic)” I know, right?!

Here’s Monica Cruz at the beach in the bikini. She’s Penelope Cruz’s sister and, sure, that doesn’t make her a celebrity or anything, but there’s not much else going on today. I was debating whether or not to put up pictures of myself running around the beach, but I don’t think that would be a good idea since there isn’t a computer on the planet capable of withstanding my manliness. It would probably just blow up in your face.