In an interview with the Guardian UK, Morrissey had an opinion on everything and if you read the title, you can guess that none of it was positive.

Morrissey on other singers: “They have two or three melodies and they repeat them ad nauseam over the course of 28 albums.”

Morrissey on people: “They are problems.”

Morrissey on the charts: “Nothing any more to do with talent or gift or cleverness or originality. Every new artist flies in at number one, but in terms of live music they couldn’t fill a telephone box.”

Morrissey on if he owns a valid driver’s license: “What kind of bland, insipid question is that?”

Morrissey on the Chinese: “Did you see the thing on the news about their treatment of animals and animal welfare? Absolutely horrific. You can’t help but feel that the Chinese are a subspecies.”

A spokesman for Love Music Hate Racism, to which Morrissey donated to in 2008, said, “It is crude racism. When you start using language like ‘sub-species’, you are entering into dark and murky water.”

It’s great Morrissey sees the actions of a few and attributes it to an entire race because that’s exactly what I do. Sweeping generalizations make it so I don’t have to think so hard and therefore make my brain hurt less. You look at celebrities like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan and you just know all celebrities are whores. Like that Dakota Fanning . She must be a raging slut.

During a PETA benefit show in Norfolk, Virginia, Morrissey criticized Madonna accusing her of Angelina Jolie nut-huggery. Wait, Angelina doesn’t have nuts. Ovary-huggery? He told the audience,

“I wouldn’t be surprised if she made that African boy she adopted into a coat and wore him for 15 minutes, then threw it away,” presumably blasting the trendy singer for hopping on the Angelina bandwagon by adopting 21-month old David Banda from Malawi last year.

Madonna’s reps fired back,

“In an attempt to trash Madonna, he revealed himself,” a rep for the singer fired back exclusively to Usmagazine.com. “What kind of a person could even call up such imagery and words?”

I’ll tell you what kind of person. The kind of person who should be writing for this site. Morrissey, you’ve captured my heart, but alas, you can never capture my soul. Although, I will say this in Madonna’s defense. You can’t use African babies as coats. Try American babies. They’re better fed and therefore, make much better coats. Their kidneys are worth a lot too.