Russell Brand has been tapped to host the MTV Movie Awards for the third time. When he hosted previously, he called out Katy Perry to go out on a date with him. She did and they married but ended up divorcing .

I wonder who he’s going to call out this time. I hope it’s Christina Aguilera. I can’t wait to see her huff and puff with pleasure.

Good news, gay Twilight fans. It seems you haven’t been left out of the franchise as last night at the MTV Movie Awards, Robert Pattinson ditched Kristen Stewart to make out with Taylor Lautner. LOLZ!

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson won Best Kiss at the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday and instead of giving every Twilight fan a nerd boner by kissing, Pattinson ran through the crowd to plant one on co-star Taylor Lautner. Mass giggling ensued. You know Cindy will be talking about this today in homeroom.

Hottest. Llama. Makeout Sesh. Ever.

In big, shocking, surprising news of the day, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse took home five of the 12 honors last night at the MTV Movie Awards. These included Best Movie, Best Male Performance, Best Female Performance, Best Fight and Best Kiss. Rounding out the other awards were Emma Stone in Easy A for Best Comedic Performance, Tom Felton in Harry Potter for Best Villain, Ellen Page in Inception for Best Scared-As-Sh*t Performance and Chloe Grace Moretz in Kick-Ass for Biggest Badass Star.

I don’t remember the MTV Movie Awards being this big of a joke. I mean, you watch it but you don’t quite grasp the sheer stupidity of it all until you read the categories and winners in print. Although I can’t really complain. If this had been around when I was a kid, I’d have voted for Problem Child in every category and looking back years later, I’d also be shaking my head in disappointment.

Tons more photos from the MTV Movie Awards. These include big stars like Stephanie Pratt, Audrina Patridge and features lots of heavy sighing while asking yourself, “Why are they famous again?”

• Christina Aguilera starts here.
• Jessica Biel starts here.
• Lauren Bosworth starts here.
• Sean Combs starts here.
• Paris Hilton starts here.
• Julianne Houg starts here.
• Vanessa Hudgens starts here.
• Scarlett Johansson starts here.
• Victoria Justice starts here.
• Anna Kendrick starts here.
• Lindsay Lohan starts here.
• Audrina Patridge starts here.
• Snooki starts here.
• Whitney Port starts here.
• Stephanie Pratt starts here.
• The Situation starts here.
• Kristen Stewart starts here.
• Shaun White starts here.
• Shailene Woodley starts here.

[Bauer]

Sandra Bullock gave her first, sort of, public statement at the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday. She went up to accept her Generation Award, which is MTV’s version of a Lifetime Achievement Award, and made out with Scarlett Johansson. Sandra is really good at speeches.

Here’s Katy Perry at the 2010 MTV Movie Awards last night. She looks like a drag queen’s closet exploded on her. I half-expected her to dance on stage with a feathered boa while trying to keep her tuck in place. The only thing missing from this is an Adam’s apple and Paris Hilton’s feet.

[Bauer]

There to promote his new movie Knight & Day, Tom Cruise dressed up as his Tropic Thunder character Les Grossman and out-danced Jennifer Lopez at the 2010 MTV Movie Awards. I don’t know how dressing up as a character from another movie without Cameron Diaz helps with a movie with Cameron Diaz. Oh, wait. Got it.

Ed Helms and Ken Jeong did a song and dance beforehand so skip to the 2 minute mark and prepare to be swooned. J.Lo plods in a little later. The most impressive part is Tom didn’t even look winded at the end. If J.Lo did that whole routine, she’d need an iv full of Krispy Kreme, STAT.

The Sun claims today that Eminem was in on the tea-bagging gag with Bruno aka Sacha Baron Cohen. Scott Aukerman, one of the writers for the MTV Movie Awards, wrote on his blog: “Yes, the Bruno / Eminem incident was staged. That’s all anyone wants to talk about, so let’s get it out of the way. They rehearsed it at dress and yes, it went as far as it did on the live show then.”

Way to go Scott. He must be good at keeping secrets. If you told him the location of the president’s safe house, he could probably hold out for 5, maybe even 10 minutes before the question, “Do you want a glass of water?” breaks him down.

While there still isn’t solid evidence that the Eminem stunt was staged (there’s speculation that it was to a point), one thing that is known is that Eminem’s face was producer Mark Burnett’s second choice for Sacha Cohen to stick his bare ass in. Life&Style says Paris Hilton was initially offered the role of “enraged celebrity,” but declined after she somehow developed dignity inside of a week.

Please remember that this is the same Paris that started her career by releasing a porno of herself and dry humped her boyfriend in a club at Cannes not even a week ago. In fact had Paris gone through with the stunt, it would have slightly edged out “wearing underwear” as the least shocking thing she’d ever done.

Is it just me or does Kristen Stewart remind anyone of a younger Helen Bonham Carter? The crazy hair, the always high look. If she starts dating a young Tim Burton look-a-like, I’m going to have to have a serious talk with her.

Pay attention Angelina Jolie, Megan Fox, Vanessa Minnillo and Zac Efron. Bruno showed up at the MTV Movie Awards and once again showed why he’s so well respected in the fashion community. Look at those Kanye-like sunglasses and the cheetah themed ensemble. It screams “I’m classy, but I also know how to let loose.” Rawr!

Leighton Meester showed up at the MTV Movie Awards and I just got this great idea. Leighton and I should exchange numbers. Then we can call each other and get together. Oh, I know what you’re thinking. Why didn’t either of us think about this before? Yea, I’m just as stumped as you are.

Bruno played a little prank on Eminem at the MTV Movie Awards yesterday. I don’t think he was too thrilled about it. I don’t know why though. I’d think anybody would have been happy to have Sacha Baron Cohen’s thonged ass stuffed in their face against their will. Isn’t that the dream?