The MTV VMAs were yesterday and they were fantastic in every way. Ha, just kidding. They sucked. The one shining moment was when Jordin Sparks took offense to host Russell Brand’s joke about the Jonas Brothers and their promise rings. Because it’s funny when fatties are offended. Jordin said, “I just have one thing to …

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Britney cut two promos with Russell Brand (of Forgetting Sarah Marshall and British comedy things). Much like last year, I won’t be watching this, but the promos are interesting. The juxtaposition of Britney Spears and an elephant was a nice touch. It’s like when girls (Britney Spears) have fat friends (an elephant) to look skinny …

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I decided to flip to the VMAs and I saw nothing. That’s the nicest thing I can say about it. Beyonce had the most souless expression I have ever seen from any performer. She looked like a trained elephant from the circus who knows it’s going to be balancing on a ball for the next …

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