The sad thing is, these commercials for Japanese Pachinko maker Sankyo have a more coherent plot than any of Nic Cage’s movies.

Nicholas Cage has decided to take a semi-retirement on acting. He wants to take more time off in between movies to pursue other interests outside of Hollywood. I can only imagine what they could be.

I feel I’ve made a lot of movies already and I want to start exploring other opportunities that I can apply myself to, whether it’s writing or other interests that I may develop.

Despite that bit of news, his horrible looking Ghost Rider comes out in February followed by National Treasure 2 next Christmas. Ignore what you hear. This guy doesn’t have any other interests. He named his son Kal-el for christ’s sake. The article says he bought a 40 acre island in the Bahamas so I assume he’s going to build a hut there and read his entire collection of comic books over and over again. When his relatives finally find this place they’ll see him dressed in spandex trying to blow up coconuts with his mind and running off a cliff in an attempt to fly. His wife will be in the hut sobbing into her hands.

Most people know about Nicholas Cage’s fascination with comic books, especially Superman. That was pretty clear after he guaranteed a lifetime of beatings for his son by naming him Kal-el. After seeing Brandon Routh in the new Superman movie, Cage has become even more obsessed.

“I really like the movie. Each night I have dreams that I’m flying. I’m a real good floater in my sleep. But I wake up thinking the dream really did happen. “My wife looks at me and sees I’m lifting up, wondering if I’m really going to leave the ground. It’s quite a wake-up call.”

I have dreams of having sex with supermodels. The difference between my dreams and Nicholas Cage’s dreams is my dreams are based in reality and don’t make me sound crazy. But really, I actually do have sex with supermodels in my sleep. I’m serious. They may be gone when I wake up, but I have semen on my sheets every morning. Isn’t that proof enough?