Nick Hogan’s license has been suspended following a car crash that left his passenger in a coma. Nick was under the influence of alcohol at the time and considering he’s 17, that’s probably not going to help his case. Yesterday, AbcActionNews.com unearthed old footage of Nick’s mom, Linda, drag racing with her daughter in the passenger seat and later, extolling the virtues of said activity. The footage isn’t expected to help Nick’s case either.

At one point in the documentary, his mother was asked how she feels about street racing. Her answer: “Oh, I love it. I love it. The rush, the speed on the road, stereo blasting, heart-pounding, racing in between all the cars, dodging the cops. It’s awesome.”

Linda Hogan denied ever saying that when asked by ABC. I would believe her if it wasn’t for the blatant video footage. So, is Linda a complete and utter retard? Unequivocally, yes. She’s a big retard. Linda in the court room will be fun. They’ll play the tape in front of her and ask her about it and she’ll say, “I would never say those things. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” When the lawyer tells her to watch the tape playing right in front of her, Linda would reply, “What tape?” Then she’d put her hands over her ears and spin around in circles eventually vomiting from the dizziness. Following her lead, the other 3 Hogans will begin doing the same thing because according to this fancy science journal, stupidity is hereditary.

Nick Bollea and a passenger were speeding in a Toyota Supra in Clearwater, Fla. Sunday night when he lost control and hit a raised median. The impact demolished the car and the two were flown to St. Petersburg hospital. Nick Hogan has been discharged while his friend, who had more severe injuries, is in critical condition.

According to police, a Toyota Supra, driven by Nick Bollea (Hogan’s real name), was traveling at a very high rate of speed when it lost control and hit a raised median. The car was flipped around and the back end hit a palm tree.

That sounds pretty bad, but not as bad as the restaurant I went to last night. I asked for parmesan cheese on my pasta. When I got it, there was no parmesan cheese! What the hell?