Driving back from a charity event for Keep It On The Track that teaches people to drive safely, Nick Hogan got into a minor accident in downtown LA last night. No one ended up brain dead and no report was taken so it sounds like last night was a big success.

God, who let this kid have a license again. He was racing through the streets and put a hole in his friend’s head and left him a vegetable for the rest of his life. Now he’s free to do it again. People should run if they even see Nick on a bicycle. There should be a retractable fist made of concrete and rebar installed in his steering wheel in place of an airbag and it’d be activated every time he sticks his key in. That way whenever he starts the car, he’ll be punched in the face real hard and it won’t stop until he turns off the ignition. If he’s as big of an idiot as I think he is, he won’t figure it out until the 23rd punch.

Despite his license being revoked for three years, Nick Hogan, Angel of Death, has been granted permission by Florida to drive again. But only for business related trips. TMZ says this means he can only drive from home to work and back to home. .

Florida should make Nick drive a vehicle he can’t race or kill anyone with. Like a bumper car. That way if the urge overcomes Nick again and he has an accident, what would have been a fiery crash, would just be Nick bouncing off a car and into oncoming traffic.

Hulk Hogan took his son Nick out to Vegas to celebrate his recent release from jail. They checked into the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino and will make an appearance at car trade show SEMA later. However, Hulk is determined to keep Nick out of trouble and has booked him a standard room right next to his VIP executive suite. Sources say a mysterious man believed to be his parole officer is also constantly around him. Although, Nick hasn’t let the fact he put John Graziano in a permanent vegetative state get him down. Pop Tarts reports:

But Nick isn’t allowing his post-pokey profile to shield him away from the limelight as he reportedly pranced around the hotel happily posing for pictures, signing autographs for fans and flirting with the hot young ladies that came his way. Even though daddy was all-smiles, it sounds as though the year of family drama is taking its toll.

“I’m pretty vulnerable right now, I’ve been beat up so bad of late I would probably be pretty easy to take down,” the former WWE champ told Tarts, but in next breath hinted that if he pulled himself together and got in shape he might very well come out of-retirement.

When asked about John’s accident, Hulk repeated the same thing he said earlier. “There are no accidents. God has a plan that unfolds just as he wants it.”

Wow. God must have a really great plan for John then. I bet one day John, beat after a long hike, sat down and said, “God, I’m so tired of walking.” God heard his plea and did this to him. God’s a good listener.

Having served 166 days of an 8-month sentence for putting his friend in a permanent vegetative state, Nick Hogan was released this morning at 12:30 AM in Clearwater, Florida. 74 days were shaved off for good behavior. Brooke immediately embraced Nick and raced him back home where he was greeted with a “thumping party, replete with loud music and cops surveying the scene.” No doubt as a way to celebrate the end of five and a half months of being a whiny bitch.

This morning, Linda Hogan released this statement asking for privacy.

“This is our time as a family to come together to support Nick’s adjustment back into the public life keeping it as normal as possible. Neither Nick, nor we as a family, has any interest in making this anything but private. We respect the media’s role and only ask that they respect our privacy.

“Nick went into prison as a juvenile and has experienced something that will mold and affect him for the rest of his adult life. His focus is to make a positive difference in this world, media free. Since his future actions will speak louder than any words, there is no need to speak to the media at this time.”

In order to readjust to normal life, Nick will spend the next year hanging out by the pool at his parents’ house contributing nothing to society until he receives a call from VH1 or MTV to do a reality show about readjusting to normal life. He will accept and then continue to lounge around for another year. But this time with cameras. During this transitional period, John Graziano will still be in the hospital also “lounging” around. See? John doesn’t have it so bad. Apart from that half a skull and unable to move thing.

[Brooke hugs Nick outside of jail. Image via Splash News]

Tomorrow is the day Nick Hogan gets out of jail and his sister Brooke is so happy that she blogged about it on her MySpace. She remains very optimistic about John Graziano’s recovery and believes that through prayer, one day he will walk out of that hospital. Brooke also scolds the haters for not knowing the whole story and only listening to the lying media. I mean, that video of John with half his skull missing? Totally CGI.

Hey you guys…as you all know, my brothers gettin out tomorrow…I cant even tell you, as a sister, how exciting this is for me! Nick and I are like best friends…and i cant believe how long Ive gone without him…. Not seeing him for 6 months has been really really hard. He always knows how to make me feel better or make me smile when I need it, and its been tough without having him there to hug me just at the right time, or crack a joke when im havin a bad day.

There have been a lot of supporters and a lot of haters that have come up to me and said things that have helped and things that made me feel like I couldn’t make it through another day… Some people wish terrible terrible things on us and say the the most nasty comments that I can’t even repeat on here… It really hurts. I understand people have their own opinion, but most of the people that come up to us don’t know the whole story, or how much we really really love John. Its really sad, because were not bad people….were just going through a really hard time, and so is John’s family. I feel sorry for the people who are misinformed because all they have to go off of is the media, which lets just face it, is NEVER a reliable source. Even the news, when that should be the most accurate…its probably the most far off. I didn’t come on here to vent, and I know this still wont change peoples opinion or what they think about my family. But I know that you never really know, until you actually walk in someones shoes. And that goes in all directions. All I ask, is instead of making this harder, and putting evil things out there, you pray for John and for us, and leave words of inspiration. I know- like I know -like I know- John is gonna walk out of that hospital and things will be ok again. I know his strength and I know he can do it with our prayers…… To all the people who have been supportive- It has helped MORE than you will ever know. I can not thank you enough…..Please pray for my brothers safety too… this is a really tough time he has gone through and I know all he wants to do is show you, John and his family how much he cares and understands.

ok. Back to the happy stuff! …….I just can’t wait to see my Nicky! Im gonna make him every kind of food you can possibly think of! Hes been living on bread an potatoes so far and I know some mac’n'cheese is gonna hit the spot! LOL Thanks so much for listening and keep praying! Every day will be better and better and better. God bless you! Have a safe day!

Love you guys!
brooke

When the Grazianos read this to John, he made a gurgling noise out of his breathing tube. Witnesses said it sounded like hate. Waitaminute, he spoke. Kind of. OMG, it’s a miracle! Just like Brooke predicted.

Nick Hogan will be credited 3 months for good behavior and will be a free man on October 21. Nick was sentenced to eight months in jail for his part in a car crash that left his friend John Graziano in a coma with half his head missing.

I’m more inclined to believe this was less for good behavior and more for the fact that both guards and inmates couldn’t stand to hear his whiny bitch ass every day. I’m sure the whimpering coming from his cell tends to get annoying. I’m also sure his five months in lock-up taught him a lot, like, next time switch his unconscious passenger into the driver’s seat.

Nick Hogan recently turned 18 and for his birthday present, Pinellas County jail moved him out of solitary confinement into the general population. Surprisingly, Nick is happy about this.

“They had broken his spirit,” Brooke Hogan, 20, tells PEOPLE. “When they put him in solitary, he was on the outs. I was worried about him, and his safety, and his well-being.”

“We get to visit him three times a week like everybody else, but it sucks,” she says. “I can’t just walk over to his room and give him a hug, or talk to him, or confide in him. … At least he’s not locked in hell, basically. And his personality is slowly coming back. I bring that out of him.”

This is ironic because general population is where Nick will really feel his spirit being broken. Not only that, but his spirit will be passed around like a loose cigarette. Of course, by “spirit”, I mean “his asshole” and by “broken”, I mean “made into a vagina”. Brooke Hogan, however, thinks Nick can handle himself.

“He’s been threatened,” she says. “Thank God he’s big and he can hold his own.”

According to IMDB, Nick Hogan is 6’3”, a respectable height. But, also according to IMDB, his nick name is Nicky Noodle. I give him two weeks before the other inmates force him to take estrogen so he can grow bitch tits.

The Superficial posted the video that the Grazianos recently released of John’s daily rehabilitation at the hospital. If you missed out on those pictures of the hole Nick put in John’s head, you can check out this uncensored video. It’s set to some of that crazy rock & roll music which is slightly more appropriate than the La Cucaracha music they initially thought about syncing it with. Warning: Disturbing video after the jump.

Bubba the Love Sponge played a couple of voicemail messages Frank Graziano left for Hulk Hogan and his family. In it, Frank called the Hogans whores and swore to pee on their family’s graves. Frank also said he would make Hulk’s “faggot son bleed” and would torture him slowly. Frank liberally uses the word “faggot” as an insult giving people the idea he doesn’t hold homosexuality in high regard, yet, despite this, he goes on to say he would put his penis in Nick’s mouth. Very confusing. The rest of the voicemail can be heard here.

So… does anyone else get the impression Frank isn’t too fond of the Hogans or is it just me?

Nick Hogan was transferred out of solitary confinement on Thursday into a direct supervision cell with three other juvenile inmates.

He initially was segregated because he is a minor, albeit convicted in adult court. A judge denied a transfer request from his lawyers on Tuesday.

Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office spokeswoman Cecilia Barreda says housing assignments are routinely reviewed because the jail’s population constantly changes. That created an opportunity to house juveniles together.

Nick is bunking with three other men. This jail sentence just turned very sexy for Nick Hogan. If he closes his eyes and uses his imagination, I’m sure he’ll be able to convince himself he has lockjaw from too much happiness. And those tears running down his swollen cheeks as he’s forced face down into his pillow? They’re of joy. Pure, unadulterated joy.

[Image via Splash News]

Yesterday, Nick Hogan’s lawyers filed a motion requesting Nick be released from solitary confinement. They argued that he is being wrongfully held in solitary for 17 hours a day and being held in maximum security was causing him “unbearable anxiety.” As an alternative, Nick wants to be placed under house arrest until his 18^th birthday.

On Tuesday, a judge denied Nick’s request. He will continue to serve the rest of his eight months in the Pinellas facility.

I don’t know what that crazy judge was thinking. House arrest would have been better. That way Nick can think about what he’s done while lounging around his one million acre estate complete with pool, a basketball court, friends and other amenities that would instill fear in even the most hardcore of inmates. When I went to Pinellas County Jail to ask Nick’s friends how they would feel about serving the remainder of their sentence in Hulk Hogan’s mansion, one of them said they would rather be shanked in the kidney while another said I had a “purdy” mouth.

Photo: SplashNewsOnline

TMZ released a phone conversation between Hulk Hogan and son Nick Hogan, currently in jail, in which they agree that karma is the reason John Graziano is in the hospital with a hole in his head.

God laid some “heavy shit”on him because of things that he was “into.” Nick agrees, saying John was a “negative person.”

Right after, they discuss Nick’s new reality show about a celebrity trying to get back on his feet after doing time in jail called Real-Ality or something. John’s family will be happy to know their son didn’t get put into a coma in vain. Their tragedy will make Nick rich! Listen to the conversation here.

Update: The Judge said this was no “accident” and sentenced Nick Hogan to eight months in Penellas County Jail starting right now. In addition, his driver’s license has been revoked for three years and he’s not allowed to drink, but that shouldn’t be a problem since he’s only 17, right? I’d feel sorry for Nick, but you’ll be surprised to learn I’m really against dumbass drunks who race their cars down the highway and paralyze people.

Nick and the rest of the Hogan clan arrived at Pinellas County courtroom where Nick plead no contest for reckless driving involving serious bodily injury. The Grazianos want Nick to spend a year in jail and Nick’s lawyer is considering it with 5 years probation. TMZ has a live stream going on and are live blogging it. Highlights include:

• The State wants Nick to admit that this wasn’t an accident. Moreover, the prosecution — through the family — wants him to do 5 years of probation and 500 hours of community service,
• And Ed Graziano continues, saying that he spends 10 hours a day at the hospital with John, and that John will spend the rest of his life with mental and physical disabilities. Hulk is peering over at the Graziano family. Ed says that when Nick went to the hospital to see John, he looked totally bored, and even shot dart guns and skateboarded around the hospital! OMG!
• Ashley says that Nick’s license plate COEHSP stands for “Capable of Eluding High Speed Pursuit.” Not anymore.
• The Hulk — Terry Bollea’s his real name — steps up: He repeats that John G. was “like a son” and that they went on family trips. Hulk says they sent John PowerBars to Iraq.
• Hulk busts his own show: “People think it’s reality, but it’s scripted!”

You hear that? They sent him PowerBars! Not granola bars. PowerBars. Like a son. Come on judge, don’t be a dick. And that license plate doesn’t mean what she said it means. It means, uh, crap. I got nothing.