Olivia Munn skipped out of the screening of her new movie The Babymakers at SXSW because normal people scare her. But the excuse she went with was she was working on Aaron Snorkin’s new HBO series, The Newsroom.

In her absence, she made Babymakers director Jay Chandrasekhar read a letter from her to the audience which included a photo response to those leaked self-shots (above).

March 9, 2012
Dear Everyone at “The Babymakers” SXSW screening:

I’m sorry I couldn’t be there with you all. I’m currently in Sierra Leone helping build wells for the thirsty. I thought I’d have time to stop through Austin on my way here, but I was detoured when I saw two beached seals on the Gulf near South Padre and used all of my strength, sweat and tears to pull them back into the water and save their lives.

(NOTE to JAY- Hold for applause and gasps. About 2 solid minutes…)

So, I come to you only in this letter, by way of my director of “The Babymakers” Jay Chandra-shay… shay- Jay Chandra-something.

It’s hard for me to sit here with these small, dysentery-ridden children and know that I cannot be there, with all of you wonderful friends and supporters, for my SXSW Hollywood movie premiere.

I must end this letter short, as I’m on my way to Seoul, Korea to speak with the starving children who have been denied food by their country and educate them on a motto that I have personally lived by and think will give them some hope: Thinner is Better.

I pray this letter finds you well and God keeps you safe.

Oh, and one last thing- Some of those pictures weren’t even me. I mean, you can’t even see my penis… and it’s pretty big for an Asian. Sheesh.

Til next we meet again…

Sincerely,
Your Cable Television Darling (from the upcoming HBO Aaron Sorkin series, “The Newsroom”),
Olivia Munn

So in news we learned today, Olivia Munn is really a trap and her way of denying leaked photos is to make sure she releases a sarcastic one written in different font so the pervs analyzing her every move are thrown off the scent.

Still debating whether or not those leaked nudes of Olivia Munn are real or not? Oh, I’ve been stressing about it too. So many sleepless nights. At the moment, these are the only two nudes (NSFW) but neither show her face which is pretty great for plausible deniability (the body double excuse). But let’s not forget that the internet is full of pervs so don’t think they won’t spend hours proving these are real. Hence this image sent to Egotastic which was made from the video below. The bathrooms are pretty similar and there are a lot of related items in each photo but then again, maybe her doppelganger is really precise. And bored.

Personal photos of Olivia Munn in lingerie were supposedly leaked today. Shots include her in pink lingerie, a black bra, a white bra, a pink bikini, a v-neck and a fully nude photo. It looks like she was sending these to her boyfriend Chris Pine but a more real possibility is some pervy dude captioned these himself.

Sources say some of the shots are real and just came from her blog and Twitter. However, they claim the ones where you can’t see her face including the nude shot (NSFW here) is fake (despite photo comparisons suggesting the contrary, it’s seemingly the same bathroom). Apparently a girl with Olivia’s body type is taking photos and trying to pass them off as her. *Rolls eyes*

That’s… interesting. So the excuse Olivia’s camp is going with is she has an evil twin. Points for originality I guess. Is her name Carlita Munn?

Update: Had to remove most of the photos because of lawyers. While sources said most of the shots came from her blog and Twitter, her lawyer says they were hacked. That source was obviously doing damage control.

For the second time in two years, Olivia Munn poses naked for PETA and tells everyone she rather go naked than wear fur. Is this the new What Would You Do for a Klondike Bar? What else would you rather do than wear fur, Olivia Munn? Oh, the public is just dyyying to know. In fact, why don’t you tell us while I put my fingers in my ears and go “Lalalalala.”

Hopefully this is the start of a new feature where I go over all the photoshoots we missed this day/week.

- To start off, here’s the hottest bisexual in Hollywood, Amber Heard, posing for Women’s Health.

- Bar Refaeli gets wet in GQ.

- Daisy Lowe also did a spread for GQ. But hers was for GQ Germany.

- Jennifer Garner sat down with In Style.

- Here’s the pinnacle of JWoww’s life. Her spread in Maxim. She might as well kill herself now because this is as good as her life is gonna get.

- Katherine Heigl proves to everyone she’s not a man-hating shrew in her I Hate Balls campagin. Wait, I meant the opposite.

- Miranda Kerr posed half-naked for Grazia.

- I don’t know who Olga Fonda is but she looks hot as hell in FHM.

- And a few pics from Olivia Munn’s shoot for Maxim.

Brett Ratner has been making waves ever since he claimed to have banged Olivia Munn back when she was named Lisa and before she became Asian while denying masturbating with shrimp oil in front of her.

He’s back this week with more headline grabbing statements This time during a Q&A after screening his film Tower Heist at the Arclight in LA. A moderator asked Brett whether he prepares and rehearses with his actors before shooting a scene.

In typical Brett Ratner fashion, “Ratner waved his hand dismissively and said, ‘Rehearsal is for fags.’” Well, that’s painfully obvious in most of his movies. Cohesiveness and story must also be for fags too.

Rehearsal? What’s that? Rehearsal’s for fags. Rehearsal. Not much. A lot of prep, preparation, complex action sequences, visual effects. Storyboards, animatics. The process was I made the actors stick to the script. And they wanted to, because the script was great.

A person who was there said the audience was stunned and at least one person even walked out upset over the reference. I totally understand that if he was gay. Not only did he have to sit through Tower Heist but then Brett had to come out and salt the wounds.

Ratner has since apologized for using a gay slur. In an exclusive statement to TheWrap, Ratner said,

“I apologize for any offense my remarks caused. It was a dumb way of expressing myself. Everyone who knows me knows that I don’t have a prejudiced bone in my body. But as a storyteller I should have been much more thoughtful about the power of language and my choice of words.” TheWrap

Then he made a dismissive wanking motion and blasted imaginary cum all over his statement. No, just kidding. Sort of.

In related news, Brett Ratner says he lied about banging Olivia Munn. Presumably because she got all pissy and then he felt bad when she told him he wasn’t Mr. Shrimp Hands in her book.

In her pandering book, Suck It, Wonder Woman!: The Misadventures of a Hollywood Geek, Olivia Munn talks about a short relationship she had with a bigwig director when she first moved to Hollywood. In particular, she describes seeing “a grown man in an oversized shirt holding his undersized manhood in hands glistening with shrimp fat.”

Brett Ratner admitted on Thursday that that bigwig director was him but he never masturbated using shrimp juice as lube. Also, Olivia didn’t used to be Asian and she used to be called Lisa.

“I used to date Olivia Munn, I’ll be honest with everyone here. But when she was ‘Lisa.’ She wasn’t Asian back then,” he said. “She was hanging out on my set of ‘After the Sunset,’ I banged her a few times, but I forgot her. Because she changed her name. I didn’t know it was the same person and so when she auditioned for me for a TV show [was it Prison Break?], I forgot her, she got pissed off, and so she made up all these stories about me eating shrimp and masturbating in my trailer. And she talked about my shortcomings.” HuffPo

I could see why Olivia Munn would be spiteful. She banged a director and didn’t even get a callback. This is not how Hollywood works, Mr. Brett Ratner!

A topless Channing Tatum on the set of Magic Mike was shown here earlier and now it’s time for not so topless photos of Olivia Munn on the same set.

It’s true Olivia Munn annoys me at times but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a woman in a bikini stuffing her face with ice cream. I’m not prejudice, you know.

Olivia Munn is getting pretty big. Mostly because she got good at marketing herself. Rumor that she was dating Justin Timberlake to get into the spotlight? Check.

Wanting a USO tour to visit troops stationed overseas to endear herself to America? “I’ve been trying to figure it out and work it out and come up with the right, perfect time to do it. I’ll go anywhere. I don’t care, just give me a back pack and some Capri-Suns and I’m good. I’d love to.” Check.

Wanting five kids not all of which are pushed through her vagina? “I don’t know if I want to have five actual children coming out of my vagina, but adoption is important to me because there’s so many children that need a home and need love.” Check.

Being a realist about fame thus not alienating herself from the public? “When I see people who get ‘outed’ I do think it’s strange honestly, because you don’t have to go to certain places,” Munn added. “Just be careful who you tell, because I don’t tell many people in my life. My two best friends are an architect and a nurse, my two best girlfriends. They’re my friends, they don’t care about this whole world.” Check.

If Olivia Munn keeps listening to her publicists, she’ll go far. Especially now that she dropped a clue that she dated an actor for four months that no one knew about.

“People also thought I was linked to Matt Morrison, who’s actually a very good friend of mine, and that wasn’t true at all. He was being super jokey, but he’s one of my best guy friends in the world, and literally it was a situation of weird camera angles where it looks like I’m kissing him and I’m really just flipping my head,” she said. “But other than that, I dated someone for four months, not that long ago, and no one knew, and he’s an actor.” — FOX

Now everyone wants to know who it was. But don’t look at me, I have no clue. The furthest I’ve gone into researching it is entering “Olivia” into Google before getting bored and replacing it with “free porn.”

Olivia Munn wrote down 25 things you don’t know about her for Us Magazine and it’s quite revealing. I’m lying of course. It’s all pretty lame. Day drinks, Taboo, surfing? Booring. I’ve had poops more exciting than this.

1. My favorite board game is Taboo.

2. I love “day drinks” — special drinks to make hard days better and good days awesome.

3. One of my pet peeves is when people give you gifts for your home. Are you really forcing me to display this “Footprints” framed poem every day for the rest of my life?

4. I’m the second youngest of five kids.

5. I’m half Chinese, but I was born in Oklahoma and raised in Japan.

6. My full name is Lisa Olivia Munn.

7. If I weren’t an actress, I’d be a molecular biologist astronaut because I love when people answer that question with a crazy-hard profession as if it were a real possibility, hoping you’ll think they’re smart.

8. I surf on a 7-foot-4 board.

9. I believe in rescuing your pets, not buying them.

10. I once kept an orchid alive for five months.

11. I hope to have lots of babies.

12. I’m excited to adopt one day.

13. My mom has a pool in her front yard.

14. Biggest turnoff: entitlement without work behind it.

15. I’ve never smoked a cigarette.

16. La Rochefoucauld is my favorite poet.

17. I’ve never permed or colored my hair.

18. Close talkers give me anxiety.

19. Y: The Last Man is my favorite comic book.

20. I competed in the World Championship Rock, Paper, Scissors Tournament in Toronto.

21. I’m designing a Narnia wardrobe in my house.

22. I can beatbox.

23. I credit everything I have to my fans, the OMFG (Olivia Munn Fan Group).

24. It was my idea to cut off my hair for my character in I Don’t Know How She Does It.

25. I just got my motorcycle license but I haven’t ridden yet. I’m not scared; it’s just really fun to sit on it in my garage, that’s all.

OMG, she’s soooo relatable, you guys. She’s just like us!

Olivia Munn has moved on from being a host on G4 and pretending to be one of us and has become a bona fide D-lister now showing up at the premiere of I Don’t Know How She Does It. The years of pandering to her fans have finally paid off. *Sniffle*

Carl’s Jr. is filming their next hamburger commercial. This time with Olivia “I’m better than you” Munn in a bikini on a jet ski. Naturally, this will be just as boring as all their other celebrity commercials like Kim Kardashian’s and Paris Hilton’s but at least you get to see a behind the scenes video of it. Though I’m still not sure how celebrities stuffing their fat faces with Carl’s Jr. is going to get me to buy an overpriced “six dollar burger”.

Olivia Munn (The Daily Show) hit up Pure night club at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas last week and spent time in the VIP section with UFC president Dana White and Selita Ebanks. Initially, she was having a great time “dancing and laughing.” Munn was even “taking pictures [what seemed like] every person and having the best time.” That is until she went outside. Then she started bitching out a group of people and screaming that she’s famous, bitch.

The 31-year-old approached a group of “about four others, both men and women,” whom she had been seen with throughout the evening. The crowd stood near “a bunch of tables to the left of the entrance of Pure.”

Despite her previously sweet demeanor, Munn “started yelling and swearing,” and apparently didn’t care who heard.

“You can go f— yourselves!” she told the group, adding that her “career will go on,” but the slack-jawed group she was addressing was “going to have to kiss peoples’ asses for the rest of [their] lives!”

Our eyewitness said initially the group tried to calm the belligerent actress.

“It’s okay, we understand,” one woman said nervously to Munn.

But efforts to quiet the actress’ outburst fell flat. Those in the group “weren’t really talking much,” said the spywitness, “just listening” to her yelling.

Munn is known for a down-to-earth, funny-girl persona. But with her diva screeching, she offered up a spoiled-brat performance that would have shocked her fans.

“I’m rich!” Munn continued. “I come from a well-off family.”

Munn walked off after her little diva display. Her publicist said it started because of an earlier incident. One which they didn’t care to elaborate on.

A spokesman for Munn told us the actress’ outburst was based off an earlier situation inside the nightclub where someone had tried to manhandle one of her friends.

“She’s fiercely loyal to her friends, and screaming profanity to protect them is the least aggressive thing she could have done in the moment.”

Really. Because it sounds like she was just being an asshole. I’m not sure how telling someone they’ll never be rich or famous equated to protecting her friend unless her friend loves listening to how Olivia Munn is better than everyone else.