First Nancy Grace has a nip slip that she vehemently denies happened despite all evidence to the contrary and now she’s farting on national tv. Right after Nancy finishes being interviewed about her routine, she goes down a little too far and lets one rip. They cut away before things could get too awkward.

Wait. It was a fart, right? Oh god, tell me it was. Because the only alternative is it was a queef and the last thing I need is a visual of Nancy Grace queefing. I’d rather pound railroad spikes into my eyes than imagine that.

This should put to rest all those ugly rumors about Lady GaGa being a woman. She must get sick and tired of everyone calling her a chick all the time. God. People can be so cruel. Skip to the 1:13 mark to be grossed out.

This turned into a much debated thing in the comments when Hayden first showed off her “Vivere Senza Rimipianti” tattoo. The last comment by “Angel Baby” settled it by pointing out it was probably the Italian phrase “vivere senza rimpianti” which translates to “live without regret.”

What no one noticed until recently after Hayden started sunbathing on a boat in Cannes showing off the full tattoo was that it was misspelled. Hayden’s tattoo has an extra “i” in it. Bwahahaha. You suck, Hayden.

It’s a simple fix though. Just do what the teacher did to my tests throughout much of the first grade and cross out the extra “i” and write “see me after class” next to it. Trust me. It won’t look stupid at all. Relatively speaking, I mean.

In reality, what you see here isn’t Britney’s tampon. It’s the string handlers pull to make Britney walk and talk. Clearly, this model has malfunctioned. Where does one get an RMA # for a life-size Britney?

Britney Spears performed in Oakland last night and during her performance where some guy falls from the sky to lift her from a chair, part of her extensions broke off. That or it wanted to escape the vast emptiness of Britney’s head. But that wasn’t the most shocking part of the show. No, the most shocking thing was the tensile strength of the wire used to suspend both the dancer and Britney in mid-air.

Fatty Kate Moss sashayed into a birthday party for one of her friends in London when her flab yearned to be free and split open the side of her dress. She ended up staying at the party and partying it off.

For months there have been rumors of a pregnancy for Kate and I’m sure this little snafu doesn’t help. Also not helping is trying to fit into a dress two sizes too small while looking like a starving child from a third world country with a distended and swollen belly. Even Click Clack from Ethiopia said, “Uh-uh, girlfriend. This ain’t workin’,” when he saw this picture.

[NYDN]

Britney Spears exposed her vagina while performing in Tampa, Florida. The singer, in the middle of a wardrobe change after performing “I’m a Slave 4 U”, assumed her mic was off and exclaimed: “My pussy was hanging out.” Turns out the mic was on and everyone in the arena heard. This also explained why half the audience were shielding their eyes and quietly weeping, “Not again.”

I’m not entirely sure what happened here, but it looks like NBC 26 aired a segment on some godless pastry known as wheat donuts and they must have really liked it because the photo was captioned with “So good, you’ll suck dick.” Although, I’m not entirely convinced. I feel like I should try them first. Then maybe we’ll talk about the dick sucking thing.

Turns out Lindsay Lohan is just as broke as the next person. Here she is at the opening of Matthew Williamson with the security tag still tightly fastened to her dress. Has the economy left no one unscathed? The next thing you know she’ll be asking for a 30% discount on cocaine. Ha. Celebrities. They’re just like us!