This probably won’t amount to anything, but nominate me here and I’ll give you an orgasm. You have my word. By orgasm I mean money and by money I mean my love. You want my love don’t you?

1. Mary-Kate Olsen is a biter. [Celebrity Smack]
2. Keanu Reeves still looks like a bum. [CityRag]
3. What? Pan’s Labyrinth is out already? [Pajiba]
4. Vanessa Minnillo says fuck on TV. [The Evil Beet]
5. Kid Rock is stealing Pamela Anderson’s friends. [Celebitchy]

Hey now, Grindhouse may not be the only movie to wait for. Pan’s Labyrinth is making its way up the hype ladder and it looks like it could be good.

The guy who introduced Heather to Paul is filled with guilt and sorrow because of what the one-legged parasite is putting Paul through. It’s true, he even wrote about it.

Nelly Furtado was at the MTV Latin America Music Awards and reminded me that god is cruel.

Ever wondered what some celebrities would look like in their mugshots? Me neither, but someone decided to show us anyway.

Britney Spears decided to treat herself to some new clothes after losing a lot of weight. That fatty still has a ways to go if she ever wants to make it into my secret drawer again.