Paris Hilton is free

Paris Hilton has been released from jail 5 days (officially) into her 23 day sentence which was cut down from an original 45 day sentence.

More bad news for Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton’s failed single Stars Are Blind is alleged to be a blatant rip-off of UB40’s Kingston Town.

Paris Hilton turned herself in

After making an appearance at the MTV Movie Awards Sunday night, Paris Hilton’s lawyer, Richard Hutton, drove her to the Men’s Central Jail in downtown LA where she turned herself in to begin her 23 day jail sentence.

Nicky Hilton is an idiot

At the BlackBerry Curve launch party, Nicky Hilton spoke out about her sister’s impending jail sentence calling it “absurd.” The 23-year-old tells People, “I think she should definitely be punished, but going to jail for a traffic violation is pretty absurd.” Offering more proof the Hilton sisters are simply retarded.

Paris already has a roommate

A cell mate has been hand picked for Paris Hilton by officials at the jail she’ll be staying at.

Paris has good friends, maybe

In an attempt to make the best out of a bad situation, Paris’ friends extol (or mock) the benefits of being incarcerated with other criminals who may or may not want to cause our socialite bodily harm.

Paris drops her appeal

Paris Hilton has officially dropped her probation violation appeal which was scheduled to be filed today at 1:30 p.m.

Paris Hilton will serve half the time

It’s official. Authorities stated that Paris Hilton’s jail time has been cut in half to 23 days and she will be kept in a “special needs housing unit” separate from the general inmate population.

Paris should be scared

Natalia McLennan, the former $2,000-an-hour hooker billed as “New York’s No.

Paris might work on a chain gang

Due to the overcrowded LA jails, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, “America’s Toughest Sheriff”, has graciously offered to house Paris Hilton at Tent City in Arizona.

This isn’t going to work

In a concentrated effort to avoid jail, an idea born from the dimly lit basement that is Paris and her handler’s minds, the soon to be incarcerated socialite attended Catholic church in Beverly Hills and visited her sick father at Cedar Sinai hospital over the weekend.

Paris Hilton is gonna get hurt

Paris Hilton responded with a statement prepared by her fancy new lawyer in regards to the prevalent belief that she thinks she’s above the law.

This is how sorry Paris is

Paris Hilton was driving her blue Bentley only days after being sentenced to 45 days in jail for violating her suspended license probation.