Paris Hilton has booked a plot next to Marilyn Monroe for Billy Hilton. In what amounts to another slap to the face for Marilyn Monroe, people found out that Billy Hilton is Paris Hilton’s pet goat. First she claims she’s the Marilyn Monroe of our decade and now she wants to bury a goat next …
Browsing: paris hilton
Baby Luv hates Paris
August 11th, 2006Respond
Paris Hilton’s pet kinkajou bit her on the arm Tuesday morning. I’ve never heard of this animal, but good job. Paris then called her publicist Elliot Mintz who drove her to the emergency room.
My publicist would probably be the first person I would call if I got bitten by some animal that didn’t exist for …
Paris Hilton is obscene
August 7th, 2006Respond
I don’t really know why I’m posting these pictures. Maybe because I’m a masochist. I will say this though. I laughed, I cried, I dry heaved, I fainted, I woke up and then I cried some more. Not because of the pictures themselves, but a combination of the pictures and the knowledge that Paris Hilton …
Paris Hilton continues her celibacy
August 1st, 20061 comment
A while back Paris Hilton said she was giving up sex for a year. What this meant was she planned to hook back up with Stavros Niachros, get drunk, ensnare Stavros in her perpetually open legs and then proceed to almost have sex inside a club. Therefore, Paris Hilton is either A) A liar B) …
Paris Hilton is delusional
July 18th, 20063 comments
Suprise, suprise. Paris Hilton is once again going around making moronic statements in interviews. Rather than explain it, some direct quotes will suffice. Hey, over here, shoot me now.
We meet again on a balcony at the Sanderson hotel, surrounded by fashion shrubbery, with Hilton, 25, in a floor-length ball gown and outsize white-rimmed sunglasses. My …
Paris Hilton is Beastmaster
July 17th, 2006Respond
Paris Hilton almost lost her pet ferret the other day. Much to the dismay of the ferret, she found it. Last I checked, it was illegal to have a ferret as a pet in California. Sadly, I can understand how she gets away with this stuff since explaining the law to Paris Hilton is like …
Paris Hilton is not promiscuous
July 12th, 20061 comment
The Guardian has a little chat with Paris Hilton. In it, she claims she is going to attempt the impossible. Give up sex for a year.
…she is going to stay boyfriendless and celibate for a year. Why? “Just because I want to. I feel I’m becoming stronger as a person. Every time I have a …
Paris Hilton is still a whore
July 10th, 2006Respond
Paris Hilton was a little bummed that she hasn’t been in the news lately. It must eat away at her if no one is talking about her on a regular basis. That’s why she decided to show everyone her snatch again. She really needs to come up with something a little more novel other than …
