Never again

Kathy Griffin flashed Paris Hilton outside of Kitson yesterday afternoon for her show.

This is gross

Ugh. Just looking at Doug Reinhardt stick his tongue down Paris Hilton’s throat makes me dry heave.

Paris Hilton is see-through

Of course Paris Hilton was wearing a see-through dress with no bra underneath the other day.

Paris Hilton turned 28

On February 17, one of our country’s national treasures turned 28.

Fashion shows are serious business

I haven’t seen this intense of a stare since I told Rosie O’Donnell that underneath one of the three cups I had shuffled was a quadruple stuffed Oreo cookie.

Paris Hilton is a leper

Paris Hilton has irked everyone in the industry to the point that one will be shunned from the community for being seen with Paris even if they’re only using her for a threesome.

Paris Hilton’s stupidity is all a ruse

Paris Hilton has always maintained that her blonde air-head act is just a TV image she concocted to get laughs and that in real life she’s not actually that big of an idiot.

Paris Hilton will grind anything

No one knows why, but Paris Hilton is in Utah for Sundance and she’s being every bit as undignified as you’d imagine she’d be.

Paris is a detective

Paris Hilton isn’t one to sit idly by while some stranger rubs her antique jewelery all over their genitals.

Paris Hilton is devastated

Paris Hilton’s house in Beverly Hills was burglarized last week by a man wearing a hoodie and gloves who forced his way through the front door and stole $2 million in jewelery from her bedroom.

Paris was robbed

Sources at the LAPD say Paris Hilton’s Beverly Hills home was burglarized this morning.

Paris is a good teacher

Esquire profiled Paris Hilton and instead of a long winded essay which they’d eventually regret, kind of like when you wake up next to a fat, ugly chick after a night of drinking, they just listed a bunch of retarded things they learned from Paris.