Paz Vega and her husband hit up Ibiza, Spain, where she lounged around on a yacht and showed off her fantastic ass. A stark contrast to me when I hit up  my neighbors pool, lounged around in their hot tub and showed off my ass.

Paz Vega and Fele Martinez appeared on El Hormiguero to promote their latest film, Don Mendo Rock la Vengaza in Madrid on Thursday. She looks a little bit different than I remember but still hot. Here she looks like a cross between Anne Hathaway and Eva Amurri.

Note that I have no idea what this show is about or why she’s making eyes at a puppet. All I know is I don’t like it. No, sir. Not one bit.

Paz Vega hoisted her tits up to her chin for the premiere of The Spirit yesterday. What a hero! People like Paz are the ones who make movies so great. The Spirit could suck ass but no one would remember because Paz Vega was walking the red carpet in a dress that covered only 3/4 of her body. You could film a burn victim talking into the camera for two hours about his cat and as long as you had at least three hot chicks with C cup or more on the red carpet in a low cut dress, people won’t care. When they walk out of the theatre, the only thing they’ll say to their friend is, “Hey, dude. Did you see that girl in the middle with the big,” and he’ll bounce his hands up and down in front of his chest letting his friend know he’s talking about her boobs and not her intelligence.

Sorry for the low quality, but it’s hard to take good shots with just one hand. Check out the header photo though. There’s something anatomically incorrect about it. Like Paz is missing an ass crack. Was she born without one? It seems this picture gives us definitive proof that this is the case. Pictures never lie. Also, don’t you feel sorry for the kid in the last photo? He’s been afflicted with the dreaded pixelated face syndrome. His god is a cruel god.

Paz Vega hung out at some beach wearing this thing. I believe it’s called the most awesomest bikini ever. Let this be a lesson to you young, impressionable girls. If you’re not wearing thin pieces of string tied together vaguely resembling a bikini, then you might as well kill yourself now because you’re going to die an old maid anyway.