To celebrate her 40th birthday, Jenny McCarthy will be reliving her youth by once again appearing in Playboy. Her first pictorial in 1993 earned her Playmate of the Year. Her next pictorial in July 2012 will earn her a lot of awkward conversations with her kid’s friend’s parents. “So… uh… how’s it going? Um… still have that idiotic belief that vaccinations lead to autism? Er, I mean, nice tits?”

The impetus for asking Jenny to go on one last run before she retires her breasts was Hugh Hefner hearing Jenny saying she wanted to do it again before she turns 40. ”I would absolutely pose for Playboy. I would be so flattered if they asked me. It’s probably not going to happen but I think I want to do it again.” Also because Playboy is going down the drain and Hugh Hefner has no idea what kids like these days. “Pogs? Are those still a thing?,” he asked one of his 20-year-old girlfriends who just giggled the way only a person who gave up on life could giggle.

Anyway, a 39-year-old Jenny McCarthy is going nude in Playboy again. Aren’t you excited? I’ve been waiting for this day for like never.

Sinead O’Connor, 45, regrets not doing Playboy when they asked her during her youth and now that she’s older and less, how shall we say, of a looker, she’s determined to strip for the magazine, even adding it to her bucket list. Oh and she wants to do it on all fours wearing nothing but a dog collar. This is me backing out of the room slowly.

“There’s so much I wouldn’t (sic) liked to do when I was younger and I was too miserable and Irish.

“A Playboy shoot is on my bucket list. And I like the idea of doing some interview in weird sex gear, talking about something really serious. The economy! You can talk about serious issues while you’re b**lock naked, on all fours, in your dog collar!”

If she wants it so bad, she should just show up outside the Playboy mansion naked every morning. Hugh Hefner would definitely take notice then. Though maybe not in a good way. She should build up an immunity to pepper spray and screams of terror just in case.

Following in Arianny Celeste’s footsteps, the best looking UFC Ring Girl, Brittney Palmer, finally agreed to do Playboy. The 24-year-old is on the cover of the March issue with an 8-page nude spread. You can see it on Playboy or, um, here.

If you’re waiting for the last one, Chandella Powell, to get naked, (though I don’t know why you would) you don’t have to hold your breath because she already did something much more hardcore. Very NSFW photos here.

And with that, the trifecta is complete. *Makes hand washing motion* *Screams “I’m out!”*

In response to Lindsay Lohan posing nude in a Marilyn Monroe shoot for the 50th time, Hugh Hefner tweeted the other day, “The Lindsay Lohan January-February Double Issue is breaking sales records.” Either Hugh must be senile or Playboy is doing really poorly because Fox News says no one wants to see a watered down Lindsay Lohan shoot they’ve seen a thousand times already.

But not many consumers are paying for that experience. In fact, interest seems low in seeing Lohan’s intensely air-brushed impersonation of Marilyn Monroe in glossy print. Fox411 spent Friday morning trolling the shelves of newsstands and gas stations from New York to Philadelphia only to be confronted with the same reality at each: Lohan’s glassy-eyed stare peaking above the backs of more family friendly fare, with no one staring back or making a purchase. Fox 411

Since no one wanted to comment on the issue because they’ll look like a pervert, Fox asked the editor of Fleshbot why no one was buying this. Reasons include no full frontal, she already did a Marilyn shoot and there was nothing titillating about the shoot. In short, the only wanking motion going on over this issue, is a dismissive one.

Lindsay Lohan’s Playboy pictorial leaked online last Friday which caused Hugh Hefner to release the issue ahead of schedule. Hugh tweeted, “Because of the interest & the internet leak, we’re releasing the Lindsay Lohan issue early.” He added, “due to high demand, the Playboy issue with Lindsay Lohan’s pictorial is now available on iPlayboy.”

Playboy invested a million into Lindsay’s Marilyn Monroe spread and I guess it’s paying off even though sales may have been affected by the leak. Though I suspect the publicity far outweighs the loss in sales since most of the people who saw it were never going to buy the issue in the first place. It also doesn’t help that when people saw the photos, they were filled with vast indifference.

A few days ago, the cover of Lindsay Lohan’s spread in the January/February edition of Playboy leaked. Now all the photos have leaked and lo and behold, there is nudity but no full frontal. You can check out the photos here or here or here.

Initial reactions? Boooring. You can tell they were going for a Marilyn Monroe feel which is why they ran the photos through a vintage filter, smoothed it out and waited 36 hours for their Photoshop de-freckling action to complete.

Lindsay Lohan is supposed to debut her Playboy spread on Ellen next week but someone already leaked a shot of her cover. Though there’s not much you can gather from a picture of a photoshopped cover with reflections of light bouncing off it, she does look… decent. I think that may be the greatest compliment I’ve paid Lindsay this year. (via ONTD)

Hugh Hefner didn’t like the first shoot Lindsay Lohan did for Playboy’s January issue. He felt it was too Kate Moss inspired which seems appropriate. For whatever reason, Hef wanted the shoot to look more Marilyn Monroe-y. Sort of, wait no, exactly like the shoot Lindsay did for NY Mag. So the old man told her to go back for a reshoot. Also, Lindsay won’t be doing full frontal anymore. Boo! Hiss!

“He felt the initial shots looked too much like a Kate Moss-inspired fashion story — Lindsay’s choice — where he wanted more of a classic Hollywood Marilyn Monroe feel,” a source said. This weekend, Lohan was accompanied by lawyers, agents and publicists who, sources said, “gave their two cents about what was considered ‘nude’ and what was not.” Sources said Lohan ended up delivering the Monroe-inspired images Hefner wanted. She’s expected to appear nude, but “strategically covered up” in certain shots. Page Six

Let me get this straight. They’re paying Lindsay close to a million to be naked but her handlers want to strategically place her hands and turn her towards a certain angle so you can’t see anything. And Playboy wonders why it’s heading for obsolescence and bankruptcy. Instead of publishing semi-nudes, they should just write “F**K YOU” in big red letters on their covers from now on.

Lindsay Lohan is pretty much broke relative to her peers so she’s at the mercy of anyone that will give her money. Hence, why she’s taking off all her clothes for her nude spread in Playboy. None of that BS handbra stuff.

Lindsay Lohan didn’t wuss out for her Playboy shoot — TMZ has learned, the actress will BARE ALL in her upcoming spread … i.e. the holy trifecta … or as one source close to Playboy put it, “boobs, ass, and vag.”

Reports circulated Lindsay would pull one of those lame semi-nude fiascos — all sideboob, no fun — but sources close to Hef & co. tell us, that is NOT the case. Lindsay did insist the photos be “tastefully done,” but we’re told she’s still going the full monty. TMZ

Lindsay is hurting for money so badly that it seems all anyone has to do is wave a Benjamin in front of her face, shout “yoo hoo” to get her attention and she’ll do whatever they want. In this case, spread her legs and smile for the camera.

Around three years ago, Lindsay Lohan turned down a $700,000 offer to do an eight page Playboy spread for their 55th anniversary issue. Her rep at the time said, “If there’s nudity, then the answer’s no . . . She’s not going down the [New York] magazine road again.”

The New York magazine road of course is in reference to the nude Marilyn Monroe spread she did for New York magazine. I guess she’d only whore herself out for no less than a $1 million.

But things have changed and times are tough. She has no job, no money and has to be an escort just to get into parties now. Ergo, Lindsay has finally agreed to do a spread for Playboy. The deal will net Lindsay around $750k to $1 million. No confirmation yet from her rep but when someone says, “I can neither confirm or deny at this time,” it’s a given that it’s true.

Now the question is: Does anyone want to see Lindsay in a heavily airbrushed photoshoot in artsy poses when you can find unaltered photos of her flashing her privates and cut and paste sections from each photo to make a sort of nude Franken-Lindsay? I don’t know about you, but my nude Franken-Lindsay suits my needs just fine.

After a lot of campaigning, Karina Smirnoff finally got Playboy to put her on the cover. The Dancing With the Stars alum has an 8 page spread in the mag. She’s currently paired up with the Karate Kid, Ralph Macchio, not Jayden Smith, this season. Can they crane kick their way to victory? Tune in to find out! Or don’t. Hey, it’s your life.

“As a dancer I’ve always embraced my body. I’m thrilled to show off my strong, toned physique in the pages of Playboy and celebrate my sexiness,” says Smirnoff. “To me, sexy is the confident energy a person produces. Sexy is the comfortable feeling of being who you are. Sexy is not just having beautiful lips, legs and arms; it’s beyond that. Sexy is soul.”

In essence, you could say Karina Smirnoff bared her soul in Playboy much like I bared my soul to that girl at the park. At least that’s what I tried to explain to the judge. More photos at Playboy.

In November, Playboy and JWoww came to an agreement that would pay her $400,000 for posing fully nude in the magazine. Everything seemed like a done deal until she turned it down. Well guess who’s come crawling back?

JWoww, speaking to E! News, feels the Jersey Shore has “accomplished” all it’s can and sees it ending pretty soon. “I just feel like after Italy and going back to Jersey one more time we probably accomplished it all.”

Realizing the end is near, she’s keeping her options open. Namely, posing for Playboy as long as they keep it classy. Maybe by putting a top hat on each of her breasts.

She said she decided to put it off [the original Playboy offer] after an 8-year-old girl approached her at Starbucks. “She goes, ‘I look up to you. I want to be a graphic designer just like you,’” J-Woww explained. “She goes, ‘I want to make cartoon characters like you do.’ So I was like, There’s my answer! I want kids to look up to me for college rather than Playboy.

“But I do feel like it’s a strong thing for women to do. And as long as they cover up certain parts, I’m good,” she laughed. “We have to cover up the vajajay cooka. And then it’s like, Why not? You see my boobs out half the time anyway.”

If you’re the parent of this 8-year-old, I want you to kill yourself now. Your kid shouldn’t be looking up to anyone on the Jersey Shore. If anything, that show should be about what not to do.

Also, what’s with this covering up of certain parts. This isn’t the middle east. Don’t be shy, baby.

Playboy tweeted this picture a couple days ago with the caption, “Tuesday Trivia: Who is the famous actress in this photo from the July 1999 issue?”

The answer is Christina Hendricks. The chick on the right. The one with the normal size breasts.

So, does this mean she got a boob job? I don’t know. I’m on the fence about this one. Like Agent Mulder, I want to believe.