Worldwide Entertainment Group is suing Paris Hilton to the tune of $8.3 million for failing to promote National Lampoon’s Pledge This! as agreed upon. Hilton disagrees with the allegations saying she promoted it, like, all the time. Paris stated in her deposition:

“Any chance I got . . . I would just bring it up,” by saying, “Oh, my new sorority film, it’s going to be sexy, it’s going to be really hot girls.”

What a ringing endorsement. It’s a mystery how this film wasn’t a success. With that kind of publicity, I’d imagine people would be piling into video rental stores demanding a copy of Pledge This! “We must have this film involving really hot sorority girls,” said those three stoned teenagers.

For whatever reason, not only did they put their faith in Paris to publicize the movie, they also made her a producer. Sadly, Paris doesn’t really know what those people do besides get their name in the credits and make a lot of money. Paris said: “I’m not sure what a producer does, but — I don’t know, help get cool people in the cast.”

Yes, Paris. That’s exactly what a producer does. Now, why don’t you be a good girl and put on this pointy hat, sit in that corner and eat your cookie. Grown-ups are talking here.