Nicole Scherzinger showed up to the premiere of MIB:3 in London wearing a strategically placed see-through top and long split dress. She must have learned from Adrienne Bailon because she wore a pair of black panties just in case her dress flew wide open which it almost did. I think I speak for all of us when I say, “Boo! Hiss!”

Here’s Kristen Stewart giving the finger, jokingly, at the premiere of Snow White and the Huntsman. She’s probably saying to Charlize Theron, “Haha, f**k you, I’m the fairest of them all.”

And if by “fairest,” Kristen means “the whitest,” then she’s absolutely correct.

Cameron Diaz is sort of like the Julia Roberts of this generation in that you always hear how every producer wants her for their film but when you ask anybody on the street whether or not they want to to see Cameron Daiz in another movie, all they seem to say is, “What? No! Gahh! Get that picture out of my face!”

The Avengers premiered in the UK last night and walking the red carpet were most of the film’s stars including Mark Ruffalo, Robert Downey Jr., Scarlett Johansson and, for whatever reason, Cobie Smulders.

Anyway, Scarlett Johansson looked great somehow making a polka-dotted rose-stamped dress work. It’s about two sleeves and shoulder pads away from a dress you’d find in your mother’s closet. Meanwhile, Robert Downey Jr. could have worn the same thing and still looked cool.

Scarlett Johansson showed up to the premiere of The Avengers at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre yesterday. Scarlett, of course, plays Black Widow whose superpowers include jiggly breasts and a serious case of rickets.

Jennifer Lawrence showed up to the New York screening of Hunger Games wearing a, uh, a green dress that, uh, plunging, um, V…. showed off her fantastic tits. As you can tell, I’m what they call a fashion maven which is why you can’t argue when I say that Jennifer Lawrence looked amazing last night.

And she doesn’t even diet to look that good. Unless she’s filming a movie. In which case, she does diet. Jennifer is a mystery wrapped in a riddle. According to her Hunger Games trainer:

We had a certified clinical nutritionist look at the diet and it need very little modification. But we had a new goal so a little modification was necessary. She was very happy that it wasn’t strict, fanatic or excessive. She said “I can do this.” And she did. She stuck to the diet and she didn’t cheat and was never late for a workout. She never complained and was very humble. I think she was looking forward to this film and this role so much, that she never took it as a chore. She was always upbeat. She said it was her privilege to do this and it reflected in her work.

The calories had to come down. There had to be a cap and we tried to use a food service that could deliver the calorie range that were looking for. And our nutritionist talked to the group and we reduced the saturated fats. She had to have enough carbs to train. If you put her on too low of card diet then she wouldn’t have the energy and would affect her ability to perform. Celebuzz

Oh, is this how you lose weight and lean out? I always thought it was done through years of ridicule and humiliation. Sorry, girl who never talks to me anymore.

Producers waved a hot dog in front of Tara Reid’s face to get her to sign on for the American Reunion movie and I guess a stipulation was that they had to invite her to the red carpet premiere. And they couldn’t pretend they mixed up the date and time on the invite. And they had to pay for Tara’s spray tan.

Turns out they agreed to every condition as long as Tara stood in between those two flamboyant dorks while having her picture taken.

Move over Jennifer Lawrence and your gold dress. You may be the star of The Hunger Games but Miley Cyrus was the star of the red carpet. She made sure of that with her pushed up tits last night at the premiere.

Just take a look at the girl with the pink iPhone and also the girl to her left behind Miley. You can tell they’re both shocked at the amount of breast Miley has to work with.

The Hunger Games is the new franchise studios are hoping will replace Twilight as the next series that girls will irrationally fall in love with but we all know that’s not happening because of its lack of the pale undead. Still, the film premiered yesterday and here’s the star herself, Jennifer Lawrence, dressed like an Oscar. She must be hoping she can subliminally convince people to think “Academy Award” when they think of this movie. That or “how much money do you think Cash4Gold can melt her down for?”

Side note: Why are the girls behind her (above) sieg heiling? Is this something from the book or did someone think it would be funny if they invited Hitler’s youth to the premiere?

Julianna Moore hit up the premiere of Game Change at The Newseum in Washington DC wearing this green thing. She looks like the modern day evil queen who gave Snow White the poison apple. The only thing I can imagine after looking at these is Moore crooking her finger at a couple of kids and telling them, “Come here, my pretties.”

Last Sunday at The Lorax premiere, Zac Efron pranced down the red carpet and a condom accidentally jumped out of his pocket screaming “I don’t belong here!” when he took his hand out. He tried to play it cool by putting on his sunglasses.

Whatever. We all know this was a publicity stunt. But seriously, good on Zac for thinking he’s going to get some right after The Lorax premiere. 14-year-olds are so easy. Amirite? Guys?

Well, it’s official. I’m having nightmares tonight.

Say what you will about Jennifer Aniston, but at least she doesn’t show up to her own premiere dressed like a flamenco dancer. Aniston chose to look like a pinwheel instead. She looks like an optical illusion. Which is about the nicest thing I’ve ever said about her.