Dagger-chinned Reese Witherspoon showed up at the premiere of This Means War in a low cut top and black skirt and there isn’t one picture here where she’s not smiling hard. She needs to seriously calm down because this is starting to get creepy.

Here’s Gina Carano at the premiere of Haywire, her big screen debut, and she looked… decent? Definitely not as good as she usually looks when she cuts weight for fights like here and here. Though I guess we should be glad Gina Carano doesn’t balloon up like she usually does in between fights.

Granted, I’d never say any of this to her face because I only like it when girls make me cry in private, not in public.

Last night was the premiere of We Bought a Zoo in NYC and among the attendees was Scarlett Johansson who stood in front of a mirror beforehand and asked herself, “How can I look like a complete non-sexualized version of a girl?” Thirty minutes later, ta-da! If you must know, her dress is made by famous designer “What the Hell?” and her hair was styled by “Seriously?” If I was gay, I would have already snapped my fingers and issued a “nuh-uh girlfriend.”

Rachel McAdams showed up at the Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows premiere in LA on Tuesday looking as cute as ever. I have no clue about fashion but her dress looked amazing on her. Way better than it did on me when I sneaked into her dressing room and tried it on yesterday.

Fergie showed up at the premiere for New Year’s Eve, of which her husband Josh Duhamel is in, to show her support. She had the foresight to wrap her breasts in a cleavage-baring dress thereby distracting everyone from her armpit which almost looked like a beat-up vagina.

On another note, when Fergie blew that kiss, did the crowd scatter in fear? Because that would seem like an appropriate reaction.

Tom Cruise flew in to Mumbai for the premiere of Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol and arrived to a roaring crowd of 200 or so paid fans who had no idea who he was because they were hired for $3 each and promised a buffet by a modeling agency to be there.

“Tom kaun? I don’t know who he is or what he does. We were told to come here by 1pm today and wait for a foreign VIP to come out of the airport gate and scream and shout when he came. None of us know who Tom is. There was a buffet lunch also for us and we were paid Rs 150 for this job today. We do this for television shows and other such events where crowds are required,” said one of the junior artistes at the airport, who was hired as an excited Tom fan. FirstPost

Glad these guys weren’t paid to fake an interview. That would have been something. “Oh, ya, ya. I’ve seen all of Tom Kaun’s movies. ‘The Final Samurai’, ‘Raindrop Man’, ‘Eyes Largely Closed’, ‘A Few Pleasing Men’, ‘Top Pistol’, ‘Mission Hardly Possible’… I love them all!”

The now single Ashton Kutcher and Lea Michele got real cozy at the New Year’s Eve premiere in Los Angeles last night. The two were all over each other even though Lea came with Jonathan Groff. I’ll just assume Ashton was more trying to get a look at her tits than hitting on her. The only sweet nothing he whispered in her ear was, “I hope you’re not using nipple tape.” That Ashton, he’s so suave.

It wouldn’t be Twilight without 50 premieres in one week. Here’s Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and that scrunchy-faced Taylor Lautner at the UK premiere. Everyone gives Kristen sh*t for being tomboyish but she looks sort of pretty here. Granted, she still looks extremely uncomfortable in public but I’d be too if someone not named me was looking for the perfect opportunity to spike her drink. Hypothetically. Am I using that word right?

Naturally, Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner showed up to the Twilight premiere as well. Kristen supposedly stole the show wearing a split dress which showed off her pale legs.

For her premiere look, Stewart (with her tresses pulled up) donned a long, sequined J. Mendel gown with a sexy, thigh-high slit that accentuated her legs and towering Jimmy Choo heels. Finishing up the look was a dazzling Neil Lane ring — amethyst, diamonds and platinum — worth $38,000 Us

Hubba hubba said the fake vampire to the other fake vampire.

Of course, Ashley Greene also showed up for the premiere of Twilight and she looked the best out of everyone. And I’m not just saying that because I want to sleep with her. Well, ok, that’s exactly why I’m saying that. But can you blame me?

Suffice to say, that sign the guy is holding up behind Ashley is entirely accurate.

Here’s Amber Heard at the premiere of The Rum Diary in Paris. God, she looks amazing. She’s the prettiest bi-sexual I’ve ever seen. She’s so pretty that I’d dress up as a chick just to try and sleep with her. And I don’t do stuff like that. Too often.

Freida Pinto reveals to E! Online that she didn’t really show her butt in the Immortals movie. She asked for a body double instead.

The Slumdog Millionaire star plays a priestess who romances Henry Cavill’s character Theseus, the king of Athens, in the film.

The two stars’ characters enjoy a tryst in the movie – but Pinto reveals it isn’t her backside cinemagoers will see in their love scene.

She tells Eonline.com, “It wasn’t really my butt. It was a butt double. I’m relieved I don’t have to deal with that issue.” StarPulse

Son of a b*tch. Now what am I going to do with the thisisfreidapintosbuttinimmortals.com domain I just bought?

Jennifer Love Hewitt showed up at the AFI Fest premiere of J. Edgar looking sort of good. It only took a year or so but she finally figured out how to hide her fat ass and make it work for her like Kim Kardashian. Namely, tight clothes with an emphasis on cleavage. Now she looks like the young B-list actress everyone thought she’d become instead of the centaur she turned out to be for an entire year.