Last night at Madison Square Garden, Prince pulled former Dancing With the Stars contestant Kim Karadshian on stage and told her to dance. He quickly threw her off because she just stood there. Turns out she was just nervous.

- OMG Prince just pulled me up on stage!!! I’m shaking!!!!
- I was so nervous I froze when Prince touched me!!!!
- Went up on stage AGAIN! This time I redeemed myself! We all danced while Prince played the piano! Wow! What a night!

I was wrong. Kim isn’t a total killjoy attention whore. She managed to get up on stage and dance the second time which says a lot. I would have cried and ran outside when Prince kicked me off the first time. I’m just a sensitive person, okay?!

On Monday night’s performance at Madison Square Garden, Prince invited Kim Kardashian onstage and told her to dance. She didn’t dance. Instead, she stood there with her hand over her mouth and giggled like a Japanese school girl because she didn’t want to embarrass herself. Spontaneous stuff like this is usually planned and cleared with her publicist. Didn’t Prince get the memo?

Anyway, Prince didn’t like Kim being a killjoy so he kicked her big ass off stage. Thank god. You know the only way she would have danced is if the crowd made her the center of attention. Just dance, you bimbo. Quit being so difficult. That balding fat dude with the pony tail is doing it and no one has to cheer him on.

Prince talked to the Mirror about his new album which he says will only be available on CD and not iTunes or any other digital distribution medium. The reason for this is because Prince believes the Internet is over.

He explains that he decided the album will be released in CD format only in the Mirror. There’ll be no downloads anywhere in the world because of his ongoing battles against internet abuses.

Unlike most other rock stars, he has banned YouTube and iTunes from using any of his music and has even closed down his own official website.

He says: “The internet’s completely over. I don’t see why I should give my new music to iTunes or anyone else. They won’t pay me an advance for it and then they get angry when they can’t get it. “The internet’s like MTV. At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated. Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good. “They just fill your head with numbers and that can’t be good for you.”

Do people still wonder why Prince is no longer relevant? He’s regressing. Society is passing him by. Pretty soon he’ll only release his music on 8-tracks. That way no one can copy his work. And when that day comes, Prince will sit on his purple throne tenting his fingers and smiling to himself because using obscure technology has defeated those pirates. Also, because he makes shitty music that no one listens to.

After giving away his Planet Earth album for free, Prince has decided to sue every website that allows users to post his music. Top on his list are YouTube, eBay and The Pirate Bay. Prince says,

“YouTube … are clearly able (to) filter porn and pedophile material but appear to choose not to filter out the unauthorized music and film content which is core to their business success,” a statement released on his behalf said.

I find it funny Prince is such an uninformed moron that he’s going to sue Pirate Bay over copyright issues when in fact, Pirate Bay is only a tracker and doesn’t host any copyrighted material and they’re under Swedish law. Maybe Prince would like to surf on over here. I’m sure he’ll be happy reading that page. But, Pirate Bay, YouTube and eBay should just take off all his stuff anyway because the world will miss him about as much as a herpes outbreak.

Paris Hilton was in the audience when Prince played Club 3121 in Vegas’ Rio All-Suite Hotel & Casino. Much to her chagrin, Prince invited her on stage, handed her the mic and said to the audience, “Let’s see if she can really sing.” Paris stormed off the stage and left the show two songs later. Paris’ rep responded, “The item is false.”

Getting made fun of by Prince is pretty bad. Getting made fun of by Prince for your atrocious singing is worse. The last time I saw this guy was at the Super Bowl and only for a minute before I spiked my remote into the ground and left in disgust. It’s like a guy in a wheelchair making fun of you for tripping over yourself. Then beating you up and robbing you. And maybe rolling over you a few times with his chair for good measure.

Apparently when Paris is racist and bigoted, she doesn’t need rehab. There’s also this thing called the Super Bowl happening over the weekend.

• Patrick Dempsey had twins. [Celebrity Smack]
• You don’t have to tell Alicia Keys there’s a full moon tonight. [Evil Beet]
• Fergie at Pepsi Smash. [Glitterati]
• Prince is at the Super Bowl. He’s the only entertainment. [CityRag]
• The Messengers: Because scary movies don’t have to be scary. [Pajiba]