Hayden Panettiere hosted last night’s Punk’d where she pranked Snooki, Zac Efron and Dianna Agron. We’ll be talking about Dianna Agron today because that was the only one worth watching. Only because she’s so damn nice to the point that she’d even pump an old dude’s penis.

Jessica Szohr (that was her, right?) invited Dianna over to her place and eventually left her to watch her fake grandpa. Gramps started hitting on Dianna and one thing led to another and he fell asleep as old people are apt to do. Then he started getting an erection. Then he started making the erection dance. Then Dianna had to help Jessica manually stimulate him to relieve his hardon thus relieving the pressure to his heart. It was based on some scientific mumbo jumbo. No time for questions. We need to put this boner pump on him!

Anyway, Dianna, being way too nice, helped pump gramps’ erection until he came. Best Friday night ever! For the old dude. Cause he sort of got a handjob from Dianna Agron.

There is unseen footage from an episode of Punk’d in 2005 where Zach Braff gets his Porsche graffitied by some kids. After reading this, Zach Braff has won some awesome points for beating up a 12 year old.

“(Then) we go outside and these little kids were spray painting the car. I think that my brand new car with, like, 100 miles on it has been ruined with spray paint graffiti. They choreographed the whole thing and I wasn’t supposed to catch the kid, but I caught him… and I’m not a big fighter or anything, but, with the adrenaline and everything, I just started pummeling him.”

That kid is lucky Zach Braff was the one doing the beating. From what I can tell from his movies and Scrubs, the pummeling could be more accurately described as flailing and clawing.

I’m not sure what I would do if I caught some kids spray painting my new Porsche. I’d probably assign them to community service to teach them respect, love and understanding because children are our future.