The trailer for the upcoming Avengers movie finally debuted on the web so now all the superheroes in those so-so movies you watched this year will be teaming up to give you even more mediocrity. The only thing I ask from this movie is Robert Downey Jr. not dial it in and more shots of Scarlett Johansson clad in leather standing in front of explosions for no reason at all. It’s just so cool, man! Even Michael Bay got an erection.

Looks like you don’t have to wait for Harry Potter to see the first trailer for Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows because it’s on iTunes and YouTube right now.

I have to say though. I’m a little disappointed. The scenes are very typical of the first but I can’t believe they replaced Rachel McAdam’s ass with Noomi Rapace, the chick from The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo series. Rachel McAdams’ ass was so much hotter.

The new trailer for Iron Man 2 just came out and if you just heard what sounded like the shrill, piercing scream of a 9-year-old girl, that was me! I haven’t been this excited since I found out M&M’s came in different colors for different holidays.

Bad ass man in iron suit. War Machine! Guns firing! Explosions! Moar explosions! Scarlett Johansson in leather. Ahhhhh! Quick. Give me a bag. I have to hyperventilate.

This Newsweek interview with Brad Pitt, Anne Hathaway, Robert Downey Jr., Frank Langella and Sally Hawkins started out innocently enough with them answering questions like if they Google themselves. Brad said never since he doesn’t know how to operate a computer. Anne Hathaway said no, but changed her answer shortly after RDJ replied:

Oh, I love all that s—-, personally. Sorry. I love just it. Because it’s a hoot. Some people overstate their support, like they know you. Other people are busy doing something else and just want to go on this chat site and say some despicable character assassination, which I honestly think they kind of nailed it. I do have that shortcoming. It’s really fun.

Anne said she’s embarrassed by it. Brad bitches and moans about how he has to promote movies with anecdotes about his life.

Then the interview turns weird as RDJ launches into a tangent.

Downey: I got a story for you. I go to Japan. “Iron Man” is opening there. I’m like, dude, this is my walk of fame. I go there and they go, [he mimics a Japanese accent] “Small problem with your passport, it links up to some incredible criminal activity.” I’m like yeah, yeah, yeah. “You did not make claim of said activity.” I was like, “I got tired.” “We would like to interrogate you.” I was like, “Interrogate? Fine, great.” Six hours later, I’m sitting there in the Japanese interrogation suite. A lady comes out, “So were you in jail or prison?” I go, “Both.” “How long?” “Sixteen months.” “Do you know the name of the first infraction you had in 1995?” I was like, “It’s hard for me to remember because I’ve been arrested so many times.” “We cannot let you enter our country.” They decided later that I can come in to do the press, “But I must please never come to Japan again.” So I’ll wrap this up quickly. We go to the Iron Chef restaurant. They give me the finest Kobe beef, and I am doubled over for yoo-hoo status for the next two days.

Langella: I don’t know what that means.

Downey: I ate a piece of beef that was super-expensive, I got a parasite, and I was yoo-hoo. I was Brown Betty for two days.

Langella: See, he has his own language.

Downey: Then what happens, a Japanese robot shows up on the red carpet. He carries in a 500-pound barrel of sake. I’m going like, I kind of have plans for Christmas, you should keep that away from me. They wanted me to smash the sake cast open with the robotic Iron Man.

Pitt: There’s some wacky humor going on over there. Japan, those toilets, all automated. They fumigate, they spray, they massage.

I’m not sure Brad Pitt was listening to a word RDJ said. A fucking Japanese robot showed up with a 500-pound barrel of sake and asked him to smash it. Is that all Brad could muster? Wacky humor? This sounds like something Abe Simpson would tell Lisa and Bart. I would be backing out of the room right after that. I don’t want to get shivved.

All kidding aside, I don’t think Downey was high. This is Japan we’re talking about. They used to sell used panties in vending machines. An alcohol lugging robot doesn’t sound too far-fetched. They were probably trying to do a Futurama impersonation of Bender, but something was lost in translation or maybe their Hentai costume was at the cleaners.

Two separate accidents that occurred on the set of Guy Ritchie’s new Sherlock Holmes movie has caused the crew to joke that there is a curse surrounding this film.

One accident involved Jude Law who had to flee the set after a tanker exploded into a fireball.

Another involved Robert Downey Jr. who was knocked out with a left hook by 7ft Robert Maillet (the uber immortal in 300). The Sun reports he was “out cold” for six seconds and “drooling blood.”

“Robert was accidentally caught on the chin by a thundering hook. He went flying and was out cold.”

“He didn’t want to go to hospital and kept trying to get up. He’s a trooper. But there have been lots of other problems too.”

The Sun fails to mention, however, that as soon as Downey fell to the floor and started gurgling blood, an excited grip dropped his mic, ran over to his crumpled body and in his best Chris Tucker voice, shouted, “You got knocked the fuck out!,” eliciting boisterous laughter and hi-fives from the other crew members. Well played, sir.

Robert Downey Jr. tells the Sunday Times that he is a reformed compulsive, serial masturbator. He says, “I utilised that organ and rode it for everything it was worth.” RDJ also claims he used to be obsessed with sex, but isn’t anymore because of his “sacred” union to movie producer Susan Levin. “Almost always, guys want to get laid. They have a girlfriend, they want to f*** her friend. But I’m not that guy.”

To put his old habit into perspective, RDJ dated Sarah Jessica Parker for seven years. Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a monster so I don’t know why he was with her in the first place, but if I had to choose between sex with her and secretly masturbating to a Barbie doll in the bathroom, I’d go with the secret masturbation thing too.

Edward Norton’s The Hulk hopes to revitalize the falling green monster franchise with better cgi — looks the same — a new Bruce Banner, a new Betty Ross and a surprise cameo by Robert Downey Jr. who reprises his role as Iron Man aka Tony Stark. Usually, these types of crossovers are kept secret until people actually go watch the film, but Marvel is attempting a new strategy in acknowledging The Hulk might suck and instead, aiming to build off the popularity of Iron Man.

A better strategy would have been to ask Leslie Bibb from Iron Man to get naked. That would be cool because she’s hot. Oh and they could drip honey over her body and then have her suck on a banana and do other sexy things with fruits. The Hulk? What?

This is the first shot from Ben Stiller’s Tropic Thunder and if you think the black guy looks familiar, that’s probably because you’ve seen him before. It’s Robert Downey Jr. But Don’t worry NAACP. He’s not a white guy playing a black guy. He’s a white guy playing an actor playing a black guy.

Stiller says that he and Downey always stayed focused on the fact that they were skewering insufferable actors, not African-Americans. ”I was trying to push it as far as you can within reality,” Stiller explains. ”I had no idea how people would respond to it.” He recently screened a rough cut of the film and it scored high with African-Americans. He was relieved at the reaction. ”It seems people really embrace it,” he says.

Okay. I think I know why I ended up with three broken ribs and a shattered cheekbone on Halloween. I explained my costume all wrong. I wasn’t dressed as a black guy. I was dressed as an actor dressed as a black guy. You know. Satire.

The Iron Man panel at SDCC. Gwyneth Paltrow looking like a zombie, Terrence Howard sitting there twiddling his thumbs, Jon Favreau rambling and Robert Downey Jr. in character. A lot more after the jump.