Robin Williams’ reps released a statement acknowledging that Williams is in the hospital and that his condition is more serious than previously believed. Turns out Robin needs an aortic valve replacement. The release continued:

“I’m so touched by everyone’s support and well wishes. This tour has been amazing fun and I can’t wait to get back out on the road after a little tune-up.”

A tune-up is like getting lipo at the doctor after you’ve eaten one too many ice cream sandwiches. This sounds like going to the doctor for complete reconstruction after eating one too many ice cream sandwiches, going into diabetic shock, passing out on a hot stove and lighting your hair and apartment on fire.

Robin Williams’ frantic huffing and puffing he mistakes for comedy has finally caught up to him. On Tuesday, Williams complained of shortness of breath and was sent to the ICU. Four South Florida shows have been canceled as doctors evaluate his condition.

I haven’t heard from Robin Williams since Mrs. Doubtfire. I didn’t even know he was still alive. The last time I heard his stand-up I had a heart attack. He tells jokes like he’s warning someone about a car careening towards them. Most of the time you can’t tell if he’s doing a bit or just really pissed at you.

[Image via Splash News]

After 20 years of being sober, Robin Williams has fallen off the wagon and checked himself into rehab.

Williams “found himself drinking again and has decided to take proactive measures to deal with this for his own well-being and the well-being of his family,” she said in a statement. “He looks forward to returning to work this fall to support his upcoming film releases.”

I can name one big influence for going to rehab. His name is Mel Gibson. I would like to see a showdown between a drunk Mel Gibson and drunk Robin Williams. It might be the biggest blockbuster of the year trumping even Jackass in the offensive department. There’s only one person missing. The token black guy. I nominate Dave Chappelle.