Loose-lipped Rod Stewart let slip the name of Kimberley Stewart and Benecio del Toro’s daughter. It’s Delilah if you’re too lazy to read.

For starters, “I’m writing songs again, something I never thought I’d do,” he says. “I’m writing about divorce, about my childhood, all sorts of things. Why this gift has come back to me after lying dormant for 17 years, I don’t know. But it has.”

And “I’m a grandfather now,” he chirps, singing out the name Delilah, born Sunday to daughter Kimberly, 32 (whose mother is Alana Hamilton Stewart, one of his two exes). “I’ve been going around blabbing that for hours now.” — USA Today

Welcome, Delilah, to the beginning of your years of hell as people come up to you and say in a sing-song voice, “Hey there, Delilah. What’s it like in New York City?” May you have the endurance to not punch them in the face.

Rod Stewart, 63, and wife Penny Lancaster, 37, went sailing off the Italian isle of Capri. As weirdos are apt to do, they thought it would be a good time to gross everyone out so Penny slipped out one of her nipples and Rod sucked on it.

There’s nothing grosser than watching an old man do something sexual. This is made more disturbing by the matching pink outfits they were wearing. They’re like the creepy couple that look normal from the outside, but when you’re alone with them, they ask you if you’re into “trying new things.” You say no, but then Rod puts his hand on your thigh making you really nervous and confused. Your first instinct is to flee, but you think, “there might be some money in this,” so you put on the leather mask, stuff the ball gag in your mouth and start whipping Rod with a metal coat hanger while his wife fellates you. When all is said and done, you leave with your money and new found shame and vow to never speak of it again. Images NSFW.

Here’s a friendly PSA. If you don’t watch Heroes, you might want to because it’s the only decent show on tv right now. Oh, and a samurai is in it. Samurai’s are cool.

Kate Moss’ grandfather is worried her daughter Lila will be exposed to drugs because of Pete Doherty. How long did it take him to realize this. if someone could put a huge billboard above this story, it would read: “Obvious.”

Nicole Richie’s friends are worried her renewed friendship with Paris Hilton isn’t good for her. “Nicole is an insecure girl, and next to Paris she shines a little less.” I’d be more worried about her not eating. You never know when a gust of wind will come and break both her femurs.

Let’s take a bet on how many college kids are going to dress up as Borat this Halloween. Let’s also bet on how many atomic wedgies will take place this Halloween.

Ryan Phillipe and Reese Witherspoon are having problems. Ryan told Reese she was embarrassing him. I’d be embarrassed too if I had to show up in public with Reese.

Madonna now wants to adopt a Malawian baby girl. Collecting babies is the new collecting Pez dispensers except with more maintenance and there’s no cavity inducing goodness.

Rod Stewart thought 14 year old Paris Hilton was hot. That’s really creepy. Really, really creepy.

Before Brody Jenner and Nicole Richie broke up, they were caught having a quickie in the bathroom stall. I’m amazed Nicole didn’t accidentally get flushed down the toilet.